As I've restarted my self-harm free life, I seem to have taken a liking to touching and picking at my face. I know it's bad for me and it doesn't look pretty after I do it but it calms me down. I feel as if I'm detoxifying myself. It's a strange new addiction. I just don't know how to stop now. I also have taken a liking to drinking 4+ coffees throughout the morning all the way into the late afternoon. No matter how jittery I know it makes me I just can't stop. Even though I crash around 9 pm. Even though I know my anxiety goes through the roof.
I know I have an addictive personality, but with an allergy to alcohol and my inability to take anything stronger than 1 normal ibuprofen, I have to turn to other ways of stimulating myself. I feel as if I just sway back and forth between barely being able to focus and focusing way too much on one trivial thing.
I don't know where this cycle ends. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost.
I'm addicted to being addicted to things.
I know I have an addictive personality, but with an allergy to alcohol and my inability to take anything stronger than 1 normal ibuprofen, I have to turn to other ways of stimulating myself. I feel as if I just sway back and forth between barely being able to focus and focusing way too much on one trivial thing.
I don't know where this cycle ends. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost.
I'm addicted to being addicted to things.
