That "why Didnt I Die" Feeling.

[C1987]

I was brutally attacked at a group meeting about a year and a half ago... And since ive spent time doing the process of moving on.. But there are days that just hit me.. I got told over and over... Too much in fact how lucky i was to be alive. And the one thing that jeeos coming back is why? Why did i live? Ive heard it all.. God has bigger plans, your not done on earth, your child needs you. And i know how greatful to be for being here especially for my son.. So why cant i get the question out of my head... I shouldve died... So why didnt i?

 

[Ajafi]

It's the PTSD talking. It is very normal for us to feel that way. I swear it's like our brains had accepted death as inevitable so when death didn't occur the brain was like "What the hell? I have been looking at a book, that talks about this from a more new age perspective and the author believes a portion of the soul does move on to the afterlife in that moment. I can't say I agree or disagree. I am only mentioning this because it means that this a common enough experience for people that it has spawned spiritual theories.

 

[Palime]

I relate.

I'm still struggling with this one, to be honest. One sucker that keeps coming to mind so badly. Didnt find a way to shoo it, yet, other than challenge it back with 'Why -should- I die' and then run to people with asking how much of a shit idea those are, because I honestly got no idea.

 

[Gagovew]

I can relate too...especially having had a few close calls...Keep thinking I'm on stolen time so if something kills me, I had it coming...I deserve it etc. Not sure how to get out of that way of thinking though. I've heard all the "there's always a reason fro everything" etc. responses but none of it is convincing.

 

[Pefi]

So why didnt i?

Because you were lucky and maybe you did some things right that made a difference.

There is no "why?" Some people get lucky and some people don't. I don't think it has anything to do with anything. But, I also kind of appreciate the time that's left and figure it might be ok to try to do something useful with it.

I swear it's like our brains had accepted death as inevitable

Death IS inevitable. None of us are getting out of here alive. It's just that a lot of people haven't had any reason to think about that........yet.

 

[Fidove]

I was brutally attacked at a group meeting about a year and a half ago... And since ive spent time doing the process of...

I won't pretend to know about God's plans for you, but I think if anyone here is lucky, it's your son - he's lucky to have you as his mom.

 

[Veso]

I don't believe the OP mentioned their sex nor their child's sex.

 

[Ubi]

especially for my son..

 

[C1987]

It's the PTSD talking. It is very normal for us to feel that way. I swear it's like our brains had accepted death as ine...

What is the book? Thats exactly how i feel. Like my whole take on death is crazy now. Like you said being so positive your going to die then dont... I love reading so id love to get that book. Ive been recomended a few that ive liked.

 

[Zefole]

Thats exactly what I think and feel. I should have died and why didn't I ? It has been 10 yrs of misery since. Nothing in my life has been the same since....I hate it. I wish I would have died and think this regularly. It would have been better for my loved ones as well. I really don't trust that there is a God anymore! Its like a bad joke!

 

[Esoh]

Why didn't you die? I don't know.
Why didn't I die? I don't know.

I am lost and numb and wish I had died.

 

[C1987]

I feel all these same things... Sometimes its i wish id just died... Sometimes its me arfuing with myself about how i cant think that because ive never wanted to die... And like a comment said most people never have to think about death yet bit those of us that have come to almost certain death realize life differently. I go back to my assault over and over and think all the time about how the world and my family friends ect. Would play out if i hadnt lived. And i think about everything thats happened in my life since that i never wouldve expirenced... The good and the bad. Thoughts are powerful. Guess thats why im glad i found tgis site.