Living In Pain And The Toll It Takes On The Mind

[Deleted member 541]

Dr' office called. NO! To medication, even though she has X-ray report. She needs to see me, even though I saw her last week Monday. Next available appointment is in 3 f*cking weeks. f*cking heroin junkies have really ruined everything for people that really need medication.

 

[VioletButterfly]

That is so heart-breaking to hear. Can any of the self-care options you noted above to @ladee help to take the edge off of the pain?

Also, how are you managing the stress of this situation right now? I see how frustrated and upset you are with the situation, and rightly so, but what can you do to calm your body and mind? Are you able to render some compassionate self-care? Has anything worked before that might help you out?

Sending positivity and support your way. Also, a little light of hope that you get what you need.

 

[ladee]

So now you either fight like a street dog to be seen earlier...or....you take that energy and turn it into self care.
I felt so guilty taking my pain meds this morning...knowing what you are enduring. Doesn't help you or me..that guilt.
Have you thought about changing Dr's?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

She needs to see me

In most States, or at least in Florida and Kansas (an MD gives you pain meds in KS where a pain Dr does in Fl) they can't call in narcotics. At least not opioids. These rules do suck and severe pain does cause one to do what they normally wouldn't (like buy off the Street). But thats likely why she wants to see you first.

My PDoc very rarely will call in Xanax. She has before but only maybe 3 times in 8 years. She wants to see me first. Whatever!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Just walking the 20 feet to go get ice at work, and 20 feet back to my desk, is making tears fall just on their own. Im not crying. It feels like someone is stabbing my knees with every careful step and burning my thigh with every move of my pant leg (not to mention my back) and I am trying to walk as straight and normal as I can as I am at work. Walking is so very hard for me and I am only 35! Its so very depressing!

I watch a youtube vloging couple called The Frey Life. I found them because she is a service dog team. She has Cystic Fibrosis. And they are such goofy, funny, and fun people. She does yoga and though I can't, just watching her push through helps me to push through. Push past the pain more.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I just wanted to say that regular watching stuff like that helps me when my pain is at its worst and it has stopped me. It helps me to get up and move more. I know the more you move the less the pain and the more you don't the worse the pain. It's just very hard to do. But when I do, I physcologically feel better too. Like sort of proud that I was able to push that far but also happy that I got it done.

A common phrase they say is "do what you think you can't do". Anyway, ok, shutting up now lol. Sorry.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul In Ma, they can't call in opioids either. I even have to have a written script for my migraine medicine fieoricet (spelling?) The actual name is to freaking long to type out and I'm too lazy to go get it... LOL!!!! I understand all that.

I also understand the opioid epidemic in the country, and why Drs are reluctant to write scripts for pain meds. I have had resent X-rays of my neck in January and my lower spine just last week. It shows for both, arthritis and disc degeneration in both.... I have a history of back pain that dates back to my early 20's and have had epidural injections in the past for pain relief. In the 2-3 yrs of seeing this Dr I have NEVER asked for pain meds. In fact the last pain meds I have been given were in July of 2015 when both of my knees swelled up like grapefruits. I was given 20 Vicodin at the time. I had a flare of reactive arthritis where the joints that are effected swell so bad that they need to be drained, sometimes several times. That was the case with my knees. They were drained twice and I was given steroid injections to help with the swelling.

So I'm not someone that seeks out pain meds and my Dr know this. What I'm saying is that the new way of Drs handling pain meds, I think is going to do exactly the opposite of what they are trying to stop. By refusing to give people in PAIN, pain meds, these people are going to seek out illegal drugs to find pain relief. JMO!!!!

There has to be a way to ensure that people in pain receive proper help, but within reason. Refusing someone pain medication that has a medical condition that causes pain, isn't the answer. Making them wait 2 months to get into to see a paIn specialist isn't the answer either.

I made myself clear when I spoke with the nurse this afternoon. I told her i felt that this was inhumane treatment and that I had the right to be treated fairly and if my Dr couldn't, then I felt I had no alternative but to seek out drugs elsewhere. They have at least called me in a muscle relaxer, I just got the call and need to go pick up the script. Jesus what shit do we have to go through to be treated like human beings and not drug seeking scum of the earth??????? f*ck!!!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

So I'm not someone that seeks out pain meds and my Dr know this. What I'm saying is that the new way of Drs handling pain meds, I think is going to do exactly the opposite of what they are trying to stop. By refusing to give people in PAIN, pain meds, these people are going to seek out illegal drugs to find pain relief. JMO!!!!

Oh, I know you aren't I didn't mean to say you were. And I totally agree with that. Thats why i said severe pain does make someone do stuff they normally would never do. I know, I've done it.

I made myself clear when I spoke with the nurse this afternoon. I told her i felt that this was inhumane treatment and that I had the right to be treated fairly and if my Dr couldn't, then I felt I had no alternative but to seek out drugs elsewhere. They have at least called me in a muscle relaxer, I just got the call and need to go pick up the script. Jesus what shit do we have to go through to be treated like human beings and not drug seeking scum of the earth??????? f*ck!!!!!

Right?!

I am too chicken to admit that to my pain Dr. Though, the moment he knew I wasn't a drug seeker was the moment he said "you are over medicated and I am chaging everything" (was on oxycotin and oxycodone) and I said "ok. As long as they help the pain!" He had said he has never had a patient that didnt fight going off oxys before. I HATED them!

He also took me after being released from a pain Dr so he didn't know.

Muscle relaxers do nothing to me but make me sleep. They dont help the pain. But thats what i take with a xanax for sleep.

Anyway, I have been very happy with him. He listens and best, believes me. Not only can he see it but he believes me. Much of my pain is caused by fibrosis "scar tissue" and sometimes you just can't see pain so that was important to me.

With the pain pump now its almost a non-issue. I mean he has to put it in every month but i dont have the pharmacy/pill hassell anymore. Which is nice.

He had changed me from oxys to a Fentyal patch and morphine sulfate as break through. I loved it as it didnt make me high or sleep and worked well for the pain. I ended on 75 mcg of Fentyal, which is a lot, and 30mg morphine sulfate three times a day. That worked for about 2 yrs and then I started going downhill fast. I had done shots, they dont work worth a shit. He is now talking about a fusion but other then that, nothing he can do.

So anyway, sorry, rambling again. Yes, I agree that the way they are handling opioids is retarded. Here in Florida we now have a State wide pharmacy data base so every pharmacy knows what other pharmacys gave you. Thats an ok way to handle it i think. And people that sell it make me mad as it makes it so much harder for us in pain. But yeah, we need to be treated with much more respect and be believed and helped! For sure!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul I'm glad that you and your pain doc have a relationship where things go as they should. I like my Dr, sort of. I've only had one Dr that I trusted with my life. She was awesome, thoughtful, empathetic, and new medicine inside and out. She also had a sense about figureing out what was wrong with you almost instantly. She moved away, after she got married. I was happy for her, but haven't forgiven her yet!!!, LOL!!! I miss her.

Ahhhhh. Morphine.... I'm severely allergic to it!!!!!!! When I had viral meningitis for the 8th time, they put me on a morphine pump when I was in the hospital. My arm swelled up and I broke out with a itchy rash in about 15 minutes. Yea, they ripped that puppy out real quick and gave me a shot of some other shit to stop everything... so, my 9th time with Meningitis they passed on the thoughts of morphine, and went straight to double doses of Vicodin.....

Picked up my script for muscle relaxer. It's Tizanidine. She was generous and gave me 20 pills with no refills. Hahahahahaha. I will have to cut them in half, and only take 1/2 pill daily to make them last 40 days. That will take me to about March 28th. 2 weeks short of appointment with pain clinic. Maybe not take them on weekends, so I can just use them during the week for work???? Just f*cking insane..... f*cking insanity. There is no other description for this...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Tizanidine

Thays what I take. 4 mg. I get 90 a month but only now take a half with 1 mg xanax, usually, for sleep.

 

[joeylittle]

There has to be a way to ensure that people in pain receive proper help, but within reason. Refusing someone pain medication that has a medical condition that causes pain, isn't the answer. Making them wait 2 months to get into to see a paIn specialist isn't the answer either.

I would like this 1000 times if I could.

Forgive me if you've mentioned this already, @She Cat - have you ever tried arnica gel?

 

[hodge]

@She Cat, I am so sorry for what you are going through all the time. I think the only good thing about my now chronic physical pain is that it makes me understand in a whole new way what others like you are going through. I've had sciatica for more than a year now. Started PT last month and sprained my ribs doing an exercise there, haven't been back and won't till that pain goes away. Meantime, constant pain in my right wrist which spreads up my forearm and down into my hand for the last two months. I see my doc about that Monday.

I used to use exercise to deal with PTSD and the physical pain has made that impossible. I know how you feel. Sometimes I just want to cry, I feel so helpless now. I also go to bed with pain and wake up with pain. OTC meds do nothing, but I'm not at a point yet where I'd consider looking for street drugs. Too scary, you don't know what's in them.

Sending you hugs and keeping you in my prayers.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@joeylittle Yes, I've tried arnica, max freeze, precise, Australian dream, Ben Gay and the pads that you put on and then they heat up. The list of prescription drugs I've tried is impressive too... LOL!!!! They were mostly meds like antidepressants that are used to treat pain, Gabapentin, and drugs like that. I've only been given pain meds a few times for the pain.

I received the packet from the pain clinic the other day. It's just a shitload of papers you have to fill out. It has drawings of a body. 1 facing forward and 1facing backwards. I'm supposed to circle ALL pain areas and then write in these abrviations for what type of pain I feel. Hahahahahaha. Those little figures look like they've been through a f*cking war. Should have circled the entire figures. The only places on my body that don't have pain, is from just below my knees, to just above my ankles, and from just above my wrist to just below my shoulders. And 7 fingers, and all 10 toes. Also the mid portion of my back does not hurt, (yet).

Arthritis is so fun!!!! I can deal with the pain of arthritis, because I take Mobic and it does help somewhat. It's the pain in my neck and lower back from compressing discs that I'm having an issue with.