asadafagahajakal
Not Active
Ive been in a few distrubing moments where my memories manifested almost like a flashback, but not sure. It must have been years since i had a moment where i felt like i was back in a certain time or place and forgetting where i really was.
But heres a few scenarios.
1. A repressed memory popped up where my mother picked me up and lifted me over the rail of a bridge almost 100 feet above a freeway, and my feet were kicking so my mom would put me back on the ground. This happened when i was 5 or 6. Although i wasnt reliving the moment, just a disturbing memory, my feet were kicking around, although i was laying in my bed.
2. I had a teacher once pin me to the ground, grab my knee and slam it on a solid floor 5 times. I couldnt walk until later that night. When this memory comes up, i often flinch over the thought, and if nothing is touching my legs, its like i can feel the warmth of a hand right over my knee, as if someones going to grab me and do that again. I often react by grabbing my own knee to stop the sensation or i move my legs, often into an awkward position.
3. Sometimes i find myself thinking of a disturbing memory, gets me seriously dissociated for the moment, and i cant shake it no matter what i do, so im practically daydreaming about some traumatic event that happened to me. Sometimes the emotions around that memory surface too so i get pretty irritable or my facial expressions and voice suddenly take an overly serious tone to suppress my emotions. This actually happens a lot at work. although i can usually still keep the work pace going, i still tend to slow down and cant do precise work, for example i might keep forgetting which button to press on the till.
4. I used to work on the kill floor at an abattoir. Ive seen a few mishaps where some pigs have endured undue suffering, or where ive been trampled by a couple pigs that are around 300 lbs. One time one trampled me and it pushed the electric stunner within an inch of my face. I find that everytime i hear a sound close enough to a pig screeching, my heartrate goes up and i hyperventilate for a few seconds, then the f*cking memories come back. Also ive had some mornings i woke up to the sounds of screaming pigs.
Are any of these situations considered flashbacks or is this just intrusive memories and me just physically reacting to a memory?
But heres a few scenarios.
1. A repressed memory popped up where my mother picked me up and lifted me over the rail of a bridge almost 100 feet above a freeway, and my feet were kicking so my mom would put me back on the ground. This happened when i was 5 or 6. Although i wasnt reliving the moment, just a disturbing memory, my feet were kicking around, although i was laying in my bed.
2. I had a teacher once pin me to the ground, grab my knee and slam it on a solid floor 5 times. I couldnt walk until later that night. When this memory comes up, i often flinch over the thought, and if nothing is touching my legs, its like i can feel the warmth of a hand right over my knee, as if someones going to grab me and do that again. I often react by grabbing my own knee to stop the sensation or i move my legs, often into an awkward position.
3. Sometimes i find myself thinking of a disturbing memory, gets me seriously dissociated for the moment, and i cant shake it no matter what i do, so im practically daydreaming about some traumatic event that happened to me. Sometimes the emotions around that memory surface too so i get pretty irritable or my facial expressions and voice suddenly take an overly serious tone to suppress my emotions. This actually happens a lot at work. although i can usually still keep the work pace going, i still tend to slow down and cant do precise work, for example i might keep forgetting which button to press on the till.
4. I used to work on the kill floor at an abattoir. Ive seen a few mishaps where some pigs have endured undue suffering, or where ive been trampled by a couple pigs that are around 300 lbs. One time one trampled me and it pushed the electric stunner within an inch of my face. I find that everytime i hear a sound close enough to a pig screeching, my heartrate goes up and i hyperventilate for a few seconds, then the f*cking memories come back. Also ive had some mornings i woke up to the sounds of screaming pigs.
Are any of these situations considered flashbacks or is this just intrusive memories and me just physically reacting to a memory?
