grimalkin
Gold Member
I should have known this would happen - and, to be fair to myself - kind of did warn him; he, of course, didn't believe me, and who am I to argue about his benefits anymore? He did dump me, after all.
Soon to be ex was injured on the job, and has already gotten a settlement from the state (his former employer) for part of the injury. He was waiting on getting a settlement for another part of the injury, which I had thought he'd already received, and told him as much. He said no, he hadn't, and he should be getting a lot more.
We found out last week that whatever he'd get would be in the form of smaller, weekly checks, instead of one lump sum. I agreed that I'd stick around long enough to get everything paid off and get him enough to move as well. All in all, it wouldn't take that long, since we were talking postponing just a few months. My agreeing to not abandon him until we were both viable led to the first hug he's given me since January.
He found out yesterday that he had already received the settlement he was counting on (like I thought). He's probably not getting much more in the way of settlements, so not only can we not pay off the credit cards, it will be hard for him to save easily. Running overseas for long trips? That's out of the question for now.
I have the means to move now, thanks to my mom. I need to get a second part time job to be able to really afford living on my own, but the big expenses of deposits and movers is covered.
I'm willing to take the debt of my own credit card, no problem (we each had our "own," though we both used both card accounts for joint expenses). I have my own car I just need to pick up (also from Mom). "Our" car is in my name only (he lost his wallet the morning before we purchased said car), but I can't afford it on my own, and he wants it, which means getting it refinanced in his name, which might not be feasible until the credit cards are paid off.
I'm still willing to stick around in our joint house until he has money saved to move. We've discussed and agreed on the car situation.
I guess my question is - how ridiculous am I being, being willing to bend over backwards for someone who dumped me? On one hand, it's partially self-preservation. We live in a community property state, and in the bit of research I've done on divorce here, our money and assets are 50/50. His debt it my debt, and vice versa. I can't just bail on some of this stuff because I'd be on the hook for half of it. He could easily take half of my nest egg - though that would mean having to actually file for divorce, which he hasn't yet (it's safely in my own account, which ironically, this state doesn't allow spouses to access until it's part of the divorce decree). My credit is already shit because of our joint expenses.
Am I just being an idiot here?
Soon to be ex was injured on the job, and has already gotten a settlement from the state (his former employer) for part of the injury. He was waiting on getting a settlement for another part of the injury, which I had thought he'd already received, and told him as much. He said no, he hadn't, and he should be getting a lot more.
We found out last week that whatever he'd get would be in the form of smaller, weekly checks, instead of one lump sum. I agreed that I'd stick around long enough to get everything paid off and get him enough to move as well. All in all, it wouldn't take that long, since we were talking postponing just a few months. My agreeing to not abandon him until we were both viable led to the first hug he's given me since January.
He found out yesterday that he had already received the settlement he was counting on (like I thought). He's probably not getting much more in the way of settlements, so not only can we not pay off the credit cards, it will be hard for him to save easily. Running overseas for long trips? That's out of the question for now.
I have the means to move now, thanks to my mom. I need to get a second part time job to be able to really afford living on my own, but the big expenses of deposits and movers is covered.
I'm willing to take the debt of my own credit card, no problem (we each had our "own," though we both used both card accounts for joint expenses). I have my own car I just need to pick up (also from Mom). "Our" car is in my name only (he lost his wallet the morning before we purchased said car), but I can't afford it on my own, and he wants it, which means getting it refinanced in his name, which might not be feasible until the credit cards are paid off.
I'm still willing to stick around in our joint house until he has money saved to move. We've discussed and agreed on the car situation.
I guess my question is - how ridiculous am I being, being willing to bend over backwards for someone who dumped me? On one hand, it's partially self-preservation. We live in a community property state, and in the bit of research I've done on divorce here, our money and assets are 50/50. His debt it my debt, and vice versa. I can't just bail on some of this stuff because I'd be on the hook for half of it. He could easily take half of my nest egg - though that would mean having to actually file for divorce, which he hasn't yet (it's safely in my own account, which ironically, this state doesn't allow spouses to access until it's part of the divorce decree). My credit is already shit because of our joint expenses.
Am I just being an idiot here?
