Sexual Assault Was This Rape?

[bobeara]

Okay so I am very nervous, as this is the first time I am telling my story.
I was 17 and hanging out at my boyfriend's house. We had just gotten done playing some video games when he seemed a bit off. He walked over and turned off the light and proceeded to walk back over to me. He kissed me and it all escalated from there. The next thing I know, he was touching me very inappropriately; grabbing my breasts and such. From there, he put his hand in my pants and started touching me "down there." Touching soon turned into penetrative fingering and I felt so scared. Never once did he ask if it was okay or if I wanted it.
I feel so ashamed and embarrassed for sharing this but I am just wondering if him fingering me is technically considered rape or not?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Yes

Rape

 

[Deleted member 37474]

This is why I wish the rule of consent was "did she say yes?" Not, "did she say no?" If you were frozen and couldn't speak and he continued on without noticing, I know how that is and feels... but with all of the self blame and gray area I felt for years, I am probably not the best person to be answering this question for you.

 

[joeylittle]

I am just wondering if him fingering me is technically considered rape or not?

Technically, as in legally? We cannot answer that. States in the US have different legal terms for varying descriptions of sexual assault.

No-one has a right to your body without your express consent, unless there is a law that supersedes that right.

Do you, @bobeara, believe he had the right - or was even in the right, or within his rights - to do what he did?

 

[hodge]

I would say, yes. If you didn't say no or stop, it's not necessarily as clear cut, but if you didn't want it, you didn't want it. I understand there are times when we can't say anything. That doesn't mean you wanted it. And, since that's true, that means it's rape. Penetration of any kind without your consent is rape. I'm so sorry you experienced this. I've been there, too.

 

[Esterio]

hHi there bobber welcome to this forum
I would have to agree with everything I read in the posts above. I really thought what TexCat said the question should be did they say yes and consent to this sexual act. Not did they say no, some times you aren't able to speak. You should have to say yes as opposed to saying no. I hope you find the answers you need.
Peace be safe

 

[Hooper]

Whether rape or not I'd end it. He will probably escalate what he wants and if you can not speak you don't need to put yourself in that position.

 

[talon]

Okay so I am very nervous, as this is the first time I am telling my story.
I was 17 and hanging out at...

Any sexual assault that was not consensual is a sexual assault regardless of whether you were penetrated by a penis. Please don't feel dirty or guilty as this might be a normal reaction in the first instance nevertheless it was not your fault. So many who do this rely on the victim feeling as you do and enduring this outrage . Don't allow action is needed not as a revenge but for justice and maybe to protect others. I am truly sorry to hear this story. Not all men react this way but those who do need exposing . Thanks for having the courage to share