Sufferer Is there anyone who will truly understand? childhood abuse. studying to be mental health nurse.

[Cloudythinker]

I've recently been diagnosed and all I'm thinking is when will my friend and family understand you can't explain how I feel and act? I'm yet to see a therapist and I start medication Monday. I can't help the way I feel. I wished people would stop trying to ask why I feel anxiety over a knock at the door or my phone ringing. Crying I'm middle of restaurant over what seems likes nothing. Or going quiet and detached. I wish I was me from 5 years ago. I just need to know I'm not alone. I've been sufferering for so long I don't know what to do anymore. It Goes back to childhood abuse then an extremely violent boyfriend in teens who I escaped from with my life. I'm 22 with my violent ex son studying mental health nursing at university. I can't look after people when I think of dying on bad days

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Welcome! Glad you decided to be a part of the community. So sorry for the reasons that prompted the decision.

You're definitely not alone. Having others truly understand us is an ongoing struggle we each encounter daily in some form or fashion.

In the same vein, knowing just how deeply it hurts to exist some days, we often strive for ways to help others, be it personally or professionally. Maybe our subconscious continually hopes we can help prevent others from experiencing the hellish things we so painfully learned.

I worked in an arena helping others for over 13 years and am often sought after for healthful or helpful advice, still, but feel very much like a fraud more often than not in knowing how deeply I still struggle with self some days. Who am I to be reaching out to help when I still have days I can't seem to help myself? But then I eventually remember the value of being real vs. being perfect. It's a hard mindset to escape once it takes hold.

May we each be fortunate enough to cross paths with meaningful and effective help and support as we venture through this madness we've come to know as our life.

 

[Cloudythinker]

Welcome! Glad you decided to be a part of the community. So sorry for the reasons that prom...

It's so much better knowing I'm not what I think Iam. A freak or only person being punished somehow.
I'm so paranoid and anxious all the time I feel better hearing how strong everyone is it making me feel better!
I've noticed I'm not coping I'm starting to go down hill and maybe I need help if I want to have a life for me and my son.
I really happy I've found somewhere I belong and can be strong

 

[Teasel]

Welcome @Cloudythinker :-)
It's horrible feeling like a freak isn't it, makes things so much worse. Glad you have joined the forum.

 

[ladee]

Welcome, we hear you, we understand, and most of us have felt what you are feeling, or are feeling it now. This is a wonderful healing community that listens, supports, makes suggestions, reminds you you are not alone.... and no judgement.

If you are feeling you need help then please set that in motion.... a great way to start self care... Hoping you find a Therapist that you can work with, and start the healing journey.... hope to see you around.... it's an awesome place to feel a part of...

 

[Cloudythinker]

Thank you I feel it's the start of a journey I should've took a while ago x

 

[Dannyuk78]

Firstly welcome to the family you are now part of of, we all have our quirks and there will be someone out there that will understand even the smallest thing.

Im on a simular road to yourself and completly understand the phone thing as my heart stops and adrenaline rushes everytime i here a text message tone go off etc. There are going to be good days and bad days but there will be days :), breath and remember you are a survivor..........

i am always on and off here so feel free to drop me a mesage about anything and i am more than willing to have a chat.

Best of luck :)

 

[Cloudythinker]

thank you I feel overwhelmed actually. I will thankyou so much x

 

[jade53]

I'm recommending you look at some of the videos on you tube if you can. I'm alone most of the time by preference/ avoidance and wish it had been around years ago. (It's almost like having a therapist available 24/7 and really helps seeing people that understand and aren't judgemental). Seriously for whatever reason it's helped me get things in some kind of perspective and much more capable of articulating things that I never could.

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm recommending you look at some of the videos on you tube if you can. I'm alone most of the time by pr...

Knowledge is power!!

 

[Patti Williams]

I've recently been diagnosed and all I'm thinking is when will my friend and family understand yo...

I do understand I'm 50 my trauma didn't raise it's ugly head till 2 years ago lost my job my home everything I see a therapist and on meds but u r right it's hard to explain to people cause they can't c the scars or wounds I'm hear to listen if u need it

 

[Fayne Jane]

Welcome there are many great forums and educational articles on this site that have helped me. I encourage reading the self care forum it helped me a lot early on when I joined this site. You are not a freak and you are not your PTSD, you are a Trauma survivor who has PTSD symptoms. I related so much to your experience as I lived in denial of my PTSD for 13 years acting like a wing nut, getting triggered and not realizing it. Crying at the drop of a pin, angry outbursts that pushed many out of my life. I finally went into major crisis while working with very violent developmentally disabled folks. That moved me into getting medication and seeing a Trauma specialist who uses EMDR which has been very affective for me. It has been a scary journey but I have received so much help from this site, keep reading, writing and know that you are not alone.