Hi Tasha
I'm in Australia so again can't help with a support group.
My suggestion to you.. you go seek a support group. One for yourself.
Sadly we can't make anyone do something they don't want to do and for some of us, sticking our face straight in the problem is just too terrifying.
I feel for you!
I know how bad it is to have PTSD but to watch helplessly from the sidelines must be dreadful. I have PTSD but my husband is my main support person and I feel so sorry for him some days on my bad days. He looks so lost and forlorn and helpless.
My husband can support me and encourage and just accept I'm ill but he can't fix me or make it better or make me see doctors if I'm too scared. (I am in weekly therapy now, but it took a long time for me to see or understand that I was even unwell. And my thought back then was,'no one can undo it, so why talk about it?')
You asked for advice so I will give you my thoughts and I can only speak for myself as your husband may feel very differently.
PTSD is a dreadful illness. No one can see when I'm suffering until its full blown and then it's really hard for anyone to help.
The one thing I really do appreciate and am so grateful for, is when some one cares enough to do research and try to find ways to help me. I feel loved and accepted and safe. I feel they are saying,'It's ok to feel the way you do and I want to help support your hurt and help be there'.
I think being the one watching the suffering is far worse in a lot of ways as the viewer has little to no control over what's happening. But there is a fair bit you can do to help.
I suggest you find a support group for carers. Then you go and learn how to care but not be consumed. You can maybe find other people in your situation who can help you find the support you both need.
You need to look after you so you can be able to support your husband.
I find it hard personally when people around me call it an illness as I don't see it as an illness, I see it as 'tragic damage'. We the sufferers are suffering and reacting because our brain got so overloaded, it broke.
Just you coming on here shows your love for your husband and I am so grateful that he has someone like you, on his side. That's the first biggest asset he has for healing. You are obviously an awesome woman for starting the ball rolling.
I haven't been on here for years as I lost the site. (I'm not computer savvy at all) last time I was on here, or at least some web site, there was a forum for the carers. I'm sure they would be able to give you some 'closer to home' help. As I'm sure they can give you some support so you can stay 'clear headed'. You need to try to stay out of the 'PTSD mud' so you can be at your best to help and support your husband.
I wish you all the very best, sending you lots of Aussie Hugs and support.
I've have chronic PTSD for nearly 25 years. And every day, in lots of little ways, I get better and better.
"It will all be good in the end, and if it's not all good, then it's not the end."
If there is a way that you can set up a personal 'chat', then I'm happy to chat some more.
Big Teddy Hugs
