If you've been to residential treatment, do you miss it?

[Leisel]

I found pictures online of my first residential treatment center. It's beautiful. It was set up like a home. The first place I can ever remember feeling loved and safe, even though I was at a serious low (mental health-wise) and often noncompliant. Everyone there loved and supported me. It's where I found my hope and reconnected to myself. It's where I learned what Safe feels like. I used to plan on going back there and working there when I was older, but I'm not even in driving distance. I really miss it, and I miss the people, since I haven't contacted them and for some people, don't know how to, or don't know their last name lol. Does anyone relate? How were your experiences in RTC?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I haven't been to one, but it sounds like something that would be a great benefit! A safe place to heal! How long were you there for?

 

[highwaybeauty]

I was in a residential treatment facility and I loved it. When my parents first put me there I was terrified, crying and screaming and promising to be 'normal' if I could go home. Slowly I realized that it was an incredibly supportive environment, the staff were lovely and everyone there understood me. I made a lifelong friend whilst I was there and 8 years later are still in contact. I often miss it as it was definitely a safe space for me. I flirt with the idea of going back when I experience periods of unwellness, however for me I think it would be more of an escape rather than a way forward. Your feelings are definitely not uncommon :)

HB x

 

[anthony]

I've done an outpatient treatment centre program... it saved my arse way back then and got me on the road to fixing myself.

 

[New Blue]

@Leisel and @highwaybeauty - I'm glad you both had that safe space to heal. What's your favorite memory of your time there?

I was dubbed "Miss Perfect" by a fellow client at my level 12 facility because I was the most well-behaved of the ten girls in the building (there were four buildings, two for boys, two for girls, with room for ten clients in each). It was located in an area with grassy hills on three sides, though only about a ten-minute walk to a grocery store and other shops.

I do miss some of the people, and have tried to keep in touch with one by email, but she hasn't been very eager to write back. I've been back to the campus twice - once to visit and later to just look around after it was turned into a school for autistic children (it was the weekend and no one was there).

I don't miss being there, since most of the time people were either physically hurting themselves or each other, or trying to. It didn't feel safe in itself as much as it was an escape from triggers at home (I wanted to get away, and even pushed for residential, rather than day treatment; no one forced me to go). I calmed down in about two weeks and was ready to go back home (or so I thought) but of course they wouldn't let me. I stayed a year and four months, graduating high school and moving out on the same day.

 

[Leisel]

I was in residential treatment for about 3 months total, mostly bc my insurance cut out lol. My favorite memories.....probably the best thing about treatment was the seemingly unconditional acceptance. Like, at my first treatment center, I was in denial, I also didn't remember my trauma (I still mostly don't, it's slowly coming back I guess), so I couldn't explain a lot of my experiences, and I was not very compliant. I would cry, I would refuse to do things just to see if I was really in control. But no matter what I did, they saw the best in me and believed in me. One of the leaders there drew pictures in the snow with me. They would let me sit out back by myself (it was set up like a house with a backyard). That backyard was the most peaceful place. I remember sitting out there, feeling so at peace, because I loved it and bc I knew I was safe with the people in the house behind me.
My second treatment center was much more rigid and I wasn't allowed outside for a bit because they deemed me a flight risk. That's reasonable considering all I did was talk about running away lol. But they listened and they loved me. I also had a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning, but they would keep waking me up and still be nice about it. They believed in me, too.
One of the most striking moments was actually when I had refused to eat my meal, so they were having me drink a nutritional supplement, but I was really struggling with drinking that, too. One of the leaders was sitting with me, and I apologized that I hadn't had any of my drink yet. She said something like, "You don't need to apologize, this is about you; it doesn't affect me either way." That sounds harsh but it actually lifted so much weight off my shoulders, and stuck with me. Recovery is about the individual. And of course, others are affected, especially if they love us, but that doesn't have to be a burden. Idk.
I have a lot of memories from treatment that I love. I think the biggest thing though is just how safe it felt, and how I felt accepted for who I was, even on my worst days. I met some really good friends there, too.

 

[New Blue]

One of the leaders there drew pictures in the snow with me. They would let me sit out back by myself (it was set up like a house with a backyard). That backyard was the most peaceful place. I remember sitting out there, feeling so at peace, because I loved it and bc I knew I was safe with the people in the house behind me.

I can imagine it was peaceful. Quiet and white. Not unlike a blank slate or a fresh start. ;-)

I love the part about the people and the house being behind you, and how that felt safe. Are you a writer, by chance? I am, and I recognize symbolism when I see it. The people and the house might arguably represent the challenges you've faced in the past, complete with all sense of shame, failure, guilt, etc. By putting it behind you literally, you were in a way putting it behind you symbolically, too.

Correct me if this is inaccurate, but it seems that you could see a brighter future for yourself when you were sitting out there alone. You can see the blank landscape in front of you and make what you want out of it (ie. draw pictures in the snow, which can symbolize what you want your future to hold), while your past is behind you, and you don't have to go back to it. You can move forward into the snow/blank slate/fresh start. Looking back at the house/the people/the past does not have to be part of moving forward. It's there, it will always be there, but you don't have to turn and look at it, let alone go back to it.