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What Makes You Angry Today?

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Don't know how to trust, or express myself with out a streak of rage.
Frustrations with not being able to convey.
Never mind the shit other's say.
Trying to suppress the want.
And fighting to focus on the beauty of each day.

Makes me want to f*cking destroy.
 
Fun means sex. Just wanted to point that out for ya, in case you missed it. (y)
What is sex? lol I'm at 100% and the hubby is at about 0.5%. Which is another thing that makes me angry. Though this just reminded me of more reading I need to do. If there is a legitimate reason for it, I would like to understand it. It is hard not to take it personal and to not let it effect my, already crippled, self esteem though.
 
That is a good question Loca. It seems like for my wife and I we are both at 50% and when we are both at 50% seems to hardly ever happen. Our marriage counselor that we were talking to tried to get us to talk about it but my wife completely refused to say anything about it.
 
Maybe, Just Maybe You Should Try Something New!!!!! :):):);)

treesome.webp
 
You ever wake up half of ya suicidal and cold sweat anxious... And the other half of you just pissed off and disgusted at the first half? No worries, the pissed off side doesn't take shit. Chaseus f*cking Christ. What a screwed up kind of existence. Snickers. Course the only downside is spending the rest of the day all pissed off. I'll take the damn downside. Meanwhile, ya can't tell anyone why you're all snarly or they get all overboard upset. Like it's not a win. Not all wins are pretty. Sheesh. Just wanna curl up and watch Netflix and have some fun growling at people on a screen who can't hear me and get their knickers in a twist over it. Is that so damn bad? Having fun while being angry? I used to have people in my life who'd do this with me. Either curl up and rant, or go burn it off. Long f*cking time ago. Since they were all y'all kind of people, figured maybe I'm not the only one with this kind of win these days. Or I wouldn't post it.

Feel free to delete if the mopey first bit is too depressing. Or whatever. My judgement goes out the damn window when I'm pissed off. Usually try and control my anger, but sometimes feeding it is the only good option I've got.
 
The more often you have sex, the more often you want to.

When there's a slump, you kind of have to get over the urge to say no and fake it 'til you make it until things feel rekindled again.
 
I see where you are coming from Friday. Today was sort of one of those days for me I could tell it wasn't going to be a good day to battle the beast. So I took a longer lunch and went to the WWP office and talked to them and just hung out a little.

But I was also pissed of at myself because I had no idea why I felt like it was going to be a bad day. Even at work I had a couple people ask my if I was ok and I was trying to look halfway happy. Then it was frustrating for myself because I knew I should be doing more but just going to work was an accomplishment for me
 
Meanwhile, ya can't tell anyone why you're all snarly or they get all overboard upset.
"Tell me how you feel, at least talk to me please."
"Ooh didn't want to hear THAT!"

Learned the hard way not to go into detail. It upsets people when they know what it is you're upset about.
Good thing therapists get paid well to listen to our horrors.
 
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It's one of my favorite things about PTSD... My outstanding judgement.

I say nothing when I should speak up.
I say too much when I should zip it.

Forehead. Drywall. Repeat.
Mmmbhmmm hmm mmbh (talking through duct tape)
 
My fave is when I get followed around the house while being asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"I don't know why you lie to me, I can tell when something is wrong."
"Nothing"

After a while of this I finally spill it. He gets all defensive (I am convinced that is the only reason he wants to know anyway - so he can get all stupid defensive) and a fight breaks out that goes in circles for hours. Always leading to the same damn thing.
"See I should have never told you what was wrong."

That's the way it goes, every single time.
 
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