Question

[Deleted member 43454]

It's selfish because you are thinking about your own feelings and not the ones who will be effected. Simplified.

Everyday going into specific routes for I.E.D's was suicidal. This shit back here is chill zone. Sure I feel guilty but not
guilt for not ending my own life. I feel guilt for putting myself in such a stupid situation that left me with an invisible injury.
And moral conflict because no Commander can tell me its right to take a life in a war initiated on false hood. Should of
never been in their f*cking back yard to be honest. But that's besides the point, shoulda, coulda, woulda, what's done is done.

I went over there thinking I would die an give my life for something greater...

One thing I felt over there was forcing myself passed my capabilities mentally in regards to fear. So upon returning, companies shutting down to outsource workers in some slave shop with suicide nets in a 3rd world. I f*cken had it passed my breaking point. To the point where
I had to sit off to the side and get my mind right for a while. Learning not to go 120mph all the time or living in excess due to feeling as
though I may die soon. f*ck It I have a mentally injury. I call it an overall exhaustion. And this game is rigged.

Not time to close inward and not express myself, it's time to do the opposite.
And I have to be here for my family when they need me. Nothing had to be earned to take your life. You could of done it
in youth. Cus ultimately when the shit was going off and I was looking death in the face or thinking about going home near
the end of the tour all I wished for was peace with my family and relaxation. I was done.

 

[Ace]

It's selfish because you are thinking about your own feelings and not the ones who will be effected. Simplified.

Everyday going into specific routes for I.E.D's was suicidal. This shit back here is chill zone. Sure I feel guilty but not
guilt for not ending my own life. I feel guilt for putting myself in such a stupid situation that left me with an invisible injury.
And moral conflict because no Commander can tell me its right to take a life in a war initiated on false hood. Should of
never been in their f*cking back yard to be honest. But that's besides the point, shoulda, coulda, woulda, what's done is done.

I went over there thinking I would die an give my life for something greater...

One thing I felt over there was forcing myself passed my capabilities mentally in regards to fear. So upon returning, companies shutting down to outsource workers in some slave shop with suicide nets in a 3rd world. I f*cken had it passed my breaking point. To the point where
I had to sit off to the side and get my mind right for a while. Learning not to go 120mph all the time or living in excess due to feeling as
though I may die soon. f*ck It I have a mentally injury. I call it an overall exhaustion. And this game is rigged.

Not time to close inward and not express myself, it's time to do the opposite.
And I have to be here for my family when they need me. Nothing had to be earned to take your life. You could of done it
in youth. Cus ultimately when the shit was going off and I was looking death in the face or thinking about going home near
the end of the tour all I wished for was peace with my family and relaxation. I was done.

Can't be selfish to not worry about the feelings of what others feels, with PTSD you don't have feelings yourself so what does it matter what others feels. Over all do what you gt to do and punch your time card if you think it's time, cause if that is selfish then so is signing a DNR (Do not revive) application with local hospital.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Can't be selfish to not worry about the feelings of what others feels, with PTSD you don't have feelings yourself so what does it matter what others feels. Over all do what you gt to do and punch your time card if you think it's time, cause if that is selfish then so is signing a DNR (Do not revive) application with local hospital.

That's just silly to think you don't have feelings man. If you didn't have feelings suicide wouldn't be an option.
And there would be no pain felt. We tie our emotions and feelings with our thoughts. Once you learn to manipulate that and focus on the things that don't feel like shit then you are making progress. But also a lot of good knowledge is gained in moments of bad feelings or uncomfortable moments but once you're thinking about ending it, it's time to re-assess an move out. Move from the mind to the heart as they say.

 

[Sludge]

That's just silly to think you don't have feelings man. If you didn't have feelings suicide wouldn't be an option.
And there would be no pain felt. We tie our emotions and feelings with our thoughts. Once you learn to manipulate that and focus on the things that don't feel like shit then you are making progress. But also a lot of good knowledge is gained in moments of bad feelings or uncomfortable moments but once you're thinking about ending it, it's time to re-assess an move out. Move from the mind to the heart as they say.

Agreed. Hell, when one breaks it down to the component level for the monthly PM, is not PTSD a disorder that causes the sufferers to feel certain parts of the emotional database more intensely?

Look at it this way. One cannot have opinions without feelings to drive them. Therefore, one who truly thinks is very likely to be one who truly feels.

In my opinion, I feel THAT is what separates us from the animals.

I also think that perhaps self-check out is an interesting conundrum. One has to be capable of significant thought to arrive at such a conclusion. Also each of us is selfish to an extent- that is what keeps us alive. Hence the conundrum- We are selfish to survive, yet we see ending that survival as selfish.

My head hurts now. Time for brain pills.

 

[Sarg]

Quit suicidal ideation, took up risky behaviour. Tons more fun. Motorcycle tyres hovering a half inch off the pavement, soon an ultralight that's an accident waiting for a mountain to crash into. Slight curl to the lip before I hit that wall. Hey, I paid a lot of money on my destruction, might as well enjoy it!

Sarg

 

[Sludge]

Quit suicidal ideation, took up risky behaviour. Tons more fun. Motorcycle tyres hovering a half inch off the pavement, soon an ultralight that's an accident waiting for a mountain to crash into. Slight curl to the lip before I hit that wall. Hey, I paid a lot of money on my destruction, might as well enjoy it!

Sarg

So Sarg...when I get this 1941cc dual port, stroked ,dual 44 IDF SCAT in the Bug, wanna drag race? ;)

Risky behavior is having the gas tank in your lap!

 

[Sarg]

Anything over 65 and the fabric starts peeling back off the spars. Risky is having a gas tank in your lap while you're smoking a cigarette. Used to do that, really.

Sarg

 

[Sludge]

Anything over 65 and the fabric starts peeling back off the spars. Risky is having a gas tank in your lap while you're smoking a cigarette. Used to do that, really.

Sarg

Anything over 50 and the front end hovers off the pavement. Nothing Like gas fumes, no steering and a Lucky Strike on the freeway.

 

[Kaishi]

Selfish, no, but I can't have as much fun I'm planning if I'm gone, and with me gone, bastards I hate win because I gave in. So not my thing.

Living and dying are both art. I keep f*cking up both so better learn at least one of them right, and living seems to be it, cause dying didn't work all the past times I went for it.

 

[RTO]

I have been in some serious mental anguish...suicide seemed like a way to get the pain to stop.

I don't think it is selfish in that case. When I get in that place I check into the hospital.

 

[vikingr24]

Not selfish to me. It is an act of relieving pain. I found out once I feel worthless, that barrel looks like an answer. And then more pain. Gotta get out of that cycle.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Don't entertain the thought. It'll just seem more and more and then you'll devise a plan... once you devise a plan you should check into hospital.
I dont let it get that far. Having a rough day? Get some sleep. Tomorrows a brand new f*cking day. And the worlds full of women ffs.