U
Ulazi
Today I made a decision and let go of my sufferer. It will take time to completely absorb but I just felt I had reached my limit. No major drama or fight (not our style), he's been disassociating/ avoiding/ shutting me out for weeks/months now and not following through with plans. My heart and head just cannot cope anymore with the loneliness and sudden abandonment.
I made it easy on him and packaged up his stuff and posted it to him. He has been procrastinating over meeting up with me since we hit a turning point and got a lot closer. I simply don't know anymore if I'm dealing with PTSD, a guy who just doesn't want me or one who's seeing someone else. Too much distance and lack of communication has bred these doubts.
I know I am not perfect but damn it I'm a good woman with a good heart and genuine intentions. I care about and love him and have been nothing but patient, understanding, honest, loyal, caring and consistent. I would be this way in any relationship its who I am.
It hurts to feel as though your best isn't good enough. I hate to say it but he's a lot to cope with and I think its rare to find a partner truly willing and prepared to be in this type of relationship who can see past PTSD to the real person. But it feels like he's okay with losing me and throwing away what we have.
He will never end it with me but does not want to move it forward or at least maintain the status quo either. Just dropped me like a hot potato! We are not kids, he is the love of my life but I don't want to be alone forever. It breaks my heart that I have to let go but he doesn't show any fight or passion to keep me.
I love you Daniel, more than you know but If I lose myself in this process what do I have left...? Sorry I could not be enough for you. I wish you the best of everything always but please do not contact me again when I have healed, trying to reignite "us". I simply could not cope with that again. Please respect that I feel pain and go through personal torment too.:(
I made it easy on him and packaged up his stuff and posted it to him. He has been procrastinating over meeting up with me since we hit a turning point and got a lot closer. I simply don't know anymore if I'm dealing with PTSD, a guy who just doesn't want me or one who's seeing someone else. Too much distance and lack of communication has bred these doubts.
I know I am not perfect but damn it I'm a good woman with a good heart and genuine intentions. I care about and love him and have been nothing but patient, understanding, honest, loyal, caring and consistent. I would be this way in any relationship its who I am.
It hurts to feel as though your best isn't good enough. I hate to say it but he's a lot to cope with and I think its rare to find a partner truly willing and prepared to be in this type of relationship who can see past PTSD to the real person. But it feels like he's okay with losing me and throwing away what we have.
He will never end it with me but does not want to move it forward or at least maintain the status quo either. Just dropped me like a hot potato! We are not kids, he is the love of my life but I don't want to be alone forever. It breaks my heart that I have to let go but he doesn't show any fight or passion to keep me.
I love you Daniel, more than you know but If I lose myself in this process what do I have left...? Sorry I could not be enough for you. I wish you the best of everything always but please do not contact me again when I have healed, trying to reignite "us". I simply could not cope with that again. Please respect that I feel pain and go through personal torment too.:(
