Being around people with selfworth issues....

[Rani G2]

My journey back to my home country is not something easy for me. I havent been there for more than ten years. I thought I left some demons there, but you realize that you carry them with you.

So, I will be meeting a few people with massive selfworth issues. Some more some less. Mostly, humans are strongly categorized into caste systems. Woman are not truly respected, even if the society (I might be generalizing...)Will put up another surface.

These people I will be around with are worried about their status, appearance and other material things. Having a car or not, having a house or not will be equivalent with your value as a human being. Coming out of a family background of academics, some politicians I belong to those few who have not done any higher studies (Today I dont regret it that much) have not been in any way very ambitious to make a career. I am saying this while not regreting because I see how people have to work hard to be there where they belong, carry their social. It took me many years to work on this topic, and I still do. I know where I stand, and have my own understanding of the world (Ok sounds a bit blah....) whatever.


Its just that I do somewhat fear that certain comments might hurt me. I guess, it all comes down to fearing those emotions. So, finding ways to be ok having those feelings, being with them but still standing strongly on my own ground not needing to explain or belittle myself.

I feel I am very much OK the way I am.

am saying this while not regreting because I see how people have to work hard to be there where they belong, carry their social.

Correct: meant: to carry their social facade

 

[ladee]

Great mind set to walk into the situation with. Hope it's not as bad or stressful as you are expecting it to be. Gentle hugs.

 

[The Albatross]

It is good that you are assessing what you may be going back to. Put together some sort of plan or strategy and a helpful thing too is defining a purpose, or a couple of purposes to stay focused on during the visit.

 

[Rani G2]

Hope it's not as bad or stressful as you are expecting it to be. Gentle hugs.

Ladee thanks! Trying.... a bit worried if I might get triggered. Which ends with depression, anxiety.

some sort of plan or strategy and a helpful thing too is defining a purpose, or a couple of purposes to stay focused on during the visit.

I think thats a good way to approach the journey, today I just lay on my bed feeling extremely depressed, crying, fearing things.....

 

[The Albatross]

Proactivity and a bit of practice managing difficult emotions now on the front end is better than languishing in anticipatory stress.. if you can muster it gal.

 

[Rani G2]

There are a few things i still need to do but I dont. I feel exhausted though I try to stay very healthy do sports etc. I am staying in bed just paralayzed

 

[Rani G2]

I feel as if someone has sucked off blood from me. No energy.... I am eating very healthy... I dont get it... where is my energy

 

[Rani G2]

Breathe in and out :-(((((((

 

[Rani G2]

I must get up I must... I have been laying here for hours

 

[Teasel]

I can get very anxious in social situations like this. Many times I don't cope well with it at all. It is so upsetting!

Occasionally when in that kind of situation amongst people that don't feel kind - I send myself a nice text. It's amazing how soothing it can be to read something kind. It kind of helps me step out of terrified victim into adult self compassion and a position of being on my side no matter how critical those around me are...
Best of luck to you. When do you go?

 

[Rani G2]

send myself a nice text. It's amazing how soothing it can be to read something kind. It kind of helps me step out of terrified victim into adult self compassion

Thanks Bearlinda, I think you've made a strong point there. Taking care of our own self and being aware of our own boundaries. What exhausts me most are parties where people are suppose to be a certain way. What I mean is that the "representation" has/should be a good one. Even small flaws will be seen as weakness.

I use to be the unpopular kid as I said things or done things that are unappropriate for a girl.

I refuse to wear a mask but I will respect their values, or I will try.

Urghhh

Thanks Bearlinda... luck could be needful ;-)

I am going nxt week

 

[Teasel]

luck could be needful ;-)..

Fingers crossed :p