Childhood I want to throw things

[CaraG]

I am not the violent type but I connected a feeling to a memory and it makes sense. Now I know I need to process it but I know it will involve crying. I don't want to put forth the effort it requires. I just want to scream, yell, shake something, but I am a class A bottler.

 

[Kintsugi]

The processing and crying and the yelling and throwing/shaking stuff don't have to be mutually exclusive reactions. You can do both.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

I used to smash stuff in my basement with a baseball bat. I'd wear gloves and eye protection. My hubby bought the cheap glasses for mere pennies and I set them up on a table. One of my favorite setups was them stacked all nice and neat in a pyramid shape. Then I swung my bat and shattered them all. I'd scream and bash all at once.

 

[ladee]

There is something deeply theraputic about breaking glass !! Going to yard sales and getting cheap plates and nicknacks, glasses.... anything glass that was cheap.... getting my hammer, and going to nutsville on those things that didn't matter... not hurting myself or anyone else... but getting that rage and hurt out of me was so freeing..... make sure you don't get hurt in the process, sort of defeats the purpose... so go crazy on some glass and feel better....

 

[CaraG]

Good idea. I will think about it. Clean up will be a problem. Possibly a drop cloth.

 

[Friday]

I've found that putting in a LITTLE effort of prepping healthier versions of what I want to do, saves me a whole LOT of grief.

Whether it's a basketball or racquet ball, a heavy bag or sparring partner, bar ware (I originally learned to control my temper by buying a pallet of glasses and hurling them at the shed/garage wall) to throw, or running shoes to pound it out... I can downgrade* my impulses, burn them off, & get back in total control... Without the pesky side effects of thumping depression & suicidality from swallowing it, or explosive rage over stupid shit.

* This is the big trick. You reeeeally don't want to train yourself to react in bigger / less controlled ways than you already do. If you don't want to hit things? Don't buy a punching bag, or punch pillows, or in any other way train yourself to hit when upset. Now, if you wanted to take a boxing class or other martial arts? That's different, because it's teaching skill / control / discipline... Rather than just lashing out. Ditto, just about everything else. Whatever you already WANT to do (and either aren't, or only do when you meltdown), there will be healthier option out there. Whether it's scream, hit stuff, break stuff, run away, etc. Find those. Give yourself an outlet that doesn't shred you. Train those up.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

You reeeeally don't want to train yourself to react in bigger / less controlled ways than you already do.

Thanks for this @Friday. I'm thinking about trying something new like martial arts.

 

[Raj]

Martial arts taught me to control my rage. Powder walks are good too!

Raj

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Powder walks are good too!

Hope you mean power walks @Raj .

 

[8888]

You could try tearing up an old phone book or breaking something inexpensive that wouldn't cause injury if broken.

 

[Rumors]

I am a “class A bottler” as well and that has been the focus of therapy for me the last little bit. No words of wisdom here except that I think denying the anger leads to much worse responses. For me, it tends to be ulcers and getting sick. I junk it all up in my stomach and it leads to weeks of doctors appointments, endoscopies, and lots of medicine. I hate that I do that.
Lately, I have taken stock in what it feels like to sit with the anger and what the anger is coming from. I just recently was able to work through something that would have usually been triggering and sent me in to a spin, but turned it into a reasonable experience by not allowing that anger to overwhelm me. It’s tough! I respect anyone trying to work through those issues and believe that time, and energy focusing on this, will resolve the bottling issue and you will learn better coping skills as it pertains to being angry. Good luck!