T wants me to take down my google review of her

[Supervixn]

I would just take it down and thats it. No reply. No email. No admittance.

 

[Sideways]

Can you try some distraction activities? Maybe something outside, away from the email and internet, perhaps something that might use up a bit of the energy? Give your mind a bit of a break from the issue?

Reacting further on the review is likely to simply fuel the overwhelming emotions at this point. So maybe put the issue on hold till you’ve had a chance to talk it through with your T.

In the meantime , when it starts creeping into your mind again, try and notice “Okay, that issue is back again”, and instead of engaging with the emotions, try and find something that will give your brain a distraction.

Emotionally this must be exhausting, yeah? So try and find ways to bring the emotional level back down a bit...?

 

[Butterflies2023]

It sounds hurtful what occurred in the session(s). It’s challenging to first bring yourself to therapy and then leave feeling good each time. It can be equally challenging to read other people’s good intentions accurately.

If I could recommend a wait period of 6 months .... then give your most honest objective opinion. Reread your brief comments several times before submitting. Perhaps start with good feedback and then areas of improvement not attacks.

Recommendations will be easier to read and given the weight it’s due.

 

[Mytime]

Hi moo, sorry your going through all these emotions, they can really wear you down. After reading all your posts, your right. She wasn’t the therapist for you. I can understand your anger, you feel she was making you step back from your recovery. Making you feel like all the hard work you did in placing the abuse, unacceptable behaviour where it belongs, with your mother.
It angers me to read how emotionally her words hurt you. But I’m proud to see, you now have the strength to know she was wrong. You stood up for your true self. You ended a relationship that wasn’t working and toxic in some ways.
I ended 2 relationship with therapists, because they weren’t a right fit for me.

I did find one that is a great fit and your new T may be yours. Only you know if your a good fit. Part of that is being honest with what your feeling. Your T can’t help,if you don’t open up about how your feeling. The truth is, your ex T hurt you in many ways. Those emotions are real and need to be processed, hopefully your new T can help.

I can understand why you wanted to post your experience and opinion on this therapist. But I have to ask you.
If you wrote your experience and opinion, from your true self, would you be feeling the way you are now?

We can all say she was wrong to email you. She was wrong to look the persons name up on Facebook. But the fact is, she probably didn’t recognize the name as one of her clients.

Maybe what it comes down to is. Would you feel better about yourself if you rewrote the review as your true self.
Can be Anonymous to protect yourself, but your true feelings, your truth is out there to be heard. Or maybe you emailing how she made you feel is what you need. To know you have a voice and are worth being heard.
Because you are very much worth being heard.

The best part, it is your choice where you go from here and I very much wish you the best and peace in your decision to move forward.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Is it evil/wrong to leave a bad online review for an ex T you didn't like? and should you take it down if they ask you to?

I realize that I am late to this, but no, you are not evil. A lot of people have said a lot of things. It can be so confusing to hear that many opinions at times and I think perhaps this is a time when you are feeling vulnerable and maybe even overexposed too?

I am not here to make a judgement on you, just because you made a mistake does not take away from the fact that you are a good person and a very human one.

I do not know about your old T but I would have quit her too. I have never written a review or complained about a bad T but I have quit them until I found one that worked well with me.

I hope that you do whatever it takes to calm yourself and treat yourself kindly while you process this bad experience. I would not have stayed with any person who blessed my abuser either. Your old T may be a complete phony and may even be running a scam. You have no way of ever knowing.

I find it interesting that she tracked you down, thus breaching the quit relationship you had chosen with her. If she was so good, she would have made a provision in her wanting reviews to respond. I just do not believe that she was on the up and up with you.

Take what you like and I hope that you will be able to heal from the bad experience and move forwards with your new T. I am so sorry that this old T did this to you. She owed you the truth that she was not a trauma T. She is responsible for being not what she appeared to be.

 

[Haven]

So maybe I'm a terrible person. I probably would have done exactly what you did. (I didn't read through the entire conversation, but I did read through the first few pages, so I'm sorry if I missed anything.) I saw a therapist once for emergency help with my PTSD. I couldn't talk, and was spiraling fast. He soon accused me of abusing the system, and yelled at me. He told me I couldn't come back to the college counselors. For the first time in my life, I walked out of a session. Though I had been told previously to come as often as I needed by separate therapists.

Upset, I reached out to a previous therapist and told him what happened. I didn't know how to report the counselor. The therapist I spoke to defended the counselor who yelled at me, and told me I had been coming in too often, and all the counselors had decided it was time for me to stop. (I had been told that coming in for regular sessions couldn't be long term, but was told continually that emergency sessions were just fine. I had never been told that I needed to stop coming in altogether.) I was very upset of course, and tried to explain to the therapist through email how the counselor had treated me very poorly. It ended there, he wouldn't speak to me anymore.

I totally get it. I would never use my real name on the internet. I would add in false information so people couldn't find me. I can't use my real name right now, and falsify things all the time (in a legal way), so my abuser can't find me. I totally get the frustration, hurt, and anger. Maybe, I'm a bad person, but I don't think so. Honestly I'm probably giving you bad advice, but if you changed anything, I would use a totally fake name (not just your friends name), write something accurate, but change a few details and say you have, because your ex therapist tracked you down! I would also say in your review that your ex therapist tracked you down, told you to remove it, and that's why you're not using real details! If you want. I'd suggest maybe even adding that you're reporting that to whatever jurisdiction your therapist is under! Then actually report it! I'd keep it polite, to the point, but factual. Things you can change could be names, details, etc. but try to keep it close to what really happened. I'd also block your ex therapist from everything so they can't reach out to you again.

I felt the parts you did write that were true, were very good. I think if you are going to rewrite your review, I'd look up legalities of defamation and follow that. I think as long as you can back up whatever claims you have, for good or bad, you'll be just fine.

Bad therapists make me angry. You've had enough abuse in your life. You don't need it again from someone who was supposed to help you. That's my opinion on the subject. I don't know if it's any good, but there it is.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

Can you try some distraction activities? Maybe something outside, away from the email and inter...

Thanks. .. I've been staying off the internet for the past day and it's helped alot. I think the storm has passed for now. I'm looking forward to speaking with my T and moving on. I'm a lite worried about what he's going to say and whether he is going to defend my ex T. I'll just have to find out I guess.

 

[mumstheword]

I think you are brave to address it with him, but I think it's a good call.
I hope it's a gentle and supportive experience for you.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

@Haven @Mytime @SherlocktoWatson thanks for all your replies. Ive just gone with removing the review altogether. I wouldn't be able to rewrite a review even if I wanted to because the T has completely modified her google site. when I search her name on Google now it comes up as partners accounting with a phone number saying that it's permanently closed.
I never really wanted to redo the review I felt better removing it completely so I guess it doesn't even matter anymore now that her page is altered.

I find it interesting that she tracked you down, thus breaching the quit relationship you had chosen with her. If she was so good, she would have made a provision in her wanting reviews to respond. I just do not believe that she was on the up and up with you.

Yep I felt very uneasy when she contacted me directly. There's a good chance I'll run into her bc we live relatively close and use the same trail to run/bike. I keep thinking what if I run into her and she starts talking about it directly in public. I would be so scared I'd just say sorry I have to leave and run away.

 

[Sideways]

@Moo - just stick with it. Nothing in this world is more important than your recovery. Nothing. So be gentle with yourself, do what you need to to get yourself through. You got this. And your new T sounds like he might be a good one:)

 

[whiteraven]

I did directly try to address it with her, but i didnt feel like she heard me or tried to fix things with m...

So I have a couple of thoughts about this. I do believe it's ok to review professionals of any type honestly. I don't believe it's necessary to do it under your real name, but if it were me, I would personally never use someone else's name. The difference is kind of like what happened to you (kind of only because your review wasn't completely straightforward and honest). Some professionals will take offense to negative reviews (and they shouldn't if they are HONEST). So they may try to contact the reviewer or, in worse case scenarios, retaliate.

I have written honest reviews about abusive therapists or those who have used questionable tactics with me. I've done it under assumed names because I didn't want them to seek me out. And yes, I think people read reviews. I do, of doctors, hospitals, and all kinds of services before I use them. I don't take each and every one of them as the absolute truth, but I do balance all that I read and come to a final decision based on what I read collectively.

 

[Scheh]

I left a review for an OBGYN group in South Orange NJ. I would not consider it a bad review since it is the truth; I was assaulted by one of the doctors. The group responded to most of the negative reviews on Yelp except the one in which I accused one of the doctors of sexual assault. I believe your doctor may want to improve their care, maybe you can talk to her about how she could do it. You can follow up with a review to inform patients of her interest to improve.