Nothing says isolation more than spending your birthday alone

[Davir]

Can relate. Sort of. Another birthday, dreams unmet, same hopes disappointed again. All alone again on the outside looking in. Like the song says, " nothing ever changes, everything remain the same. We are who we are till the day that we die."

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I wish any of my birthdays were good, instead my birthday in an anniversary within my trauma timeline. I think in my lifetime I spend more of my birthdays in the hospital than out of the hospital. And when someone brings up doing something special or nice for my birthday, I go into hypervigilance mode to stop it from happening, I just want to forget that day ever existed, on top of regretting being born in the first place.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I have spent many Bdays alone... And Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and Easter, and the 4th of July. When you come right down to it, it’s just another day!!!!

 

[bento]

@She Cat , I can totally relate. For me, birthdays and holidays were abuse time. Time
to withhold affection and acknowledgement at best, or to create ugly drama or abuse at worst.
The best times ended up when I found some way to be alone. That way I could spend the
day with some peace and whatever self generated joy I could muster.

So in a weird way being alone for holidays, birthdays while lonely, is now a relief. I guess
I'm so relieved not to be denigrated or abused, that I kind of forgot that by society's standards
being alone during these times designates me as some sort of loser. As a matter of fact,
my happiest memories of holidays, etc were those I've spent alone.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

birthdays and holidays were abuse time

I can relate in a different way, birthday and xmas were when my abuse ended and left me homeless where I had to resort to prostitution to survive, both the abuse and being street worker I could only cope with by heavy drinking.

I have avoided my birthday and xmas for most of my life, in fact often I was in the hospital during those times due to S/I and S/H.

 

[Treaty]

This is probably one of my worst birthdays ever, and thats hard to top. I am spending it sitting...

Happy birthday! I have one coming up too. Holidays are hard. I’m often depressed on those days about how I haven’t been able to cultivate as much love in my life as I want to. But I think it also makes me more aware that although it’s hard it’s what I want in life. And just to be aware of the goal even if I’m not doing it. Maybe it is the isolating in your case. But maybe this is just a bad time or year. You’re not alone though. Holidays are hard for a lot of people and for this reason. Just maybe in the back of your mind remember what you want to cultivate so that you have that in your mind the rest of the year. And also sometimes when depressed it makes or harder to see that people care.