When will it stop

[Lizardo]

I came home after a long day at work, grabbing my husband and son, we went out to dinner, well deserved after our week. My mind still hasn’t stopped racing, Stomach won’t stop doing flips. Happens every time I walk into my work place. It’s only been a few days since we got robbed, so I know it’s normal to feel this way.
Anyways, we come home after getting dinner, and our back gate is open, my heart starts thumping. I know it wasn’t rational to think someone broke into my back yard, but I knew my husband didn’t lock our front door. I got sick to my stomach all over again.. He went to make sure everything was okay, started in the back. When he walked into the house my heart stopped. Everything was okay, but I can’t ever get my mind to stop worrying. Even being home for over an hour I find myself checking closets when I walk into a room.
I got back on my medications, maybe that’s why I feel sick? I don’t know. But I suck at talking to anyone about my problems. I just wish all the anxiety of leaving the house would end.

 

[Suzetig]

It's very very early days yet - you might feel like that for a good few weeks, maybe longer. As you say it's a perfectly natural response to what happened - try to give yourself lots of space to calm yourself, relax and process your feelings. It will usually get better with time.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are perfectly normal to be feeling and thinking the feelings and thoughts that you have. I would be doing and saying the same things if I was in your position. I am glad that you are back on your meds and I imagine you getting sick is from the stress and trauma you experience. I hope you can call a hot line crises therapist in case you have a really bad time of it until you can go to a therapy appointment. Hugs.

It is going to take a long time most likely to recover some of your old self back. Please be kind to you, I believe that you are managing the very best you can right now. No wonder you have a hard time talking because you have had such a big shock to your system. Please be gentle on you.

 

[Laura Beth Myers]

I came home after a long day at work, grabbing my husband and son, we went out to dinner, well deserved...

I spent Thanksgiving Day cleaning my home, looking at the door the police broke down to get to me after I cut one wrist. I guess they wanted to keep me from getting to the other. I've 3 of several more packages from Lenox that I needed for Christmas on one track number and spent Thanksgiving evening in tears. All were supposed to be delivered on that track number; everyone's closed. I can't handle anything or trust anyone.

I've to make a police report and fear the police and my own inner layers of CPTSD. My ex lied to insurance companies and I'd no power as his wife. I feared his physical assault then and now I fear my mental assault on myself. I never received money from his false insurance claims as he took it and I left, receiving nothing.

But I fought back against him after years of beatings and was arrested; and while this small community did take my side rather quickly sending me to the women's shelter crisis assistance. (He had been sent to a batterer's class in IL, we moved into WI into the boonies.) And they allowed me to sign out on my own recognizance, dismissing charges--I've the real CPTSD.

He's out there as the Cobra. We're divorced and I'm emotionally scared. And some people might really still believe him. People still talk. He could be saying anything from I'm the wife beater to I was the controller. I struggle with an eating disorder and do exhibit some of those personality symptoms; and now I drink a bit and cut. ugh Unless they'd current medical records and knew me, I'd be lost. Now I'm entering a community support program since I'm afraid to leave my house. Great, I can hear him now, Laura the ugly crazy useless b***h wife he's say.

It's sad really. I couldn't leave the house then. And now, I won't and can't leave it now. I'm in tears and afraid to work with the police on a simple lost mail issue. I can't even leave the past in the past. I can't have Thanksgiving 2017. Now can I handle a simple Lenox I received 3 out of however many boxes were supposed to be delivered.

I'll try to dissociate a bit and watch Fall of Eagles and think about the start of WWI. Tomorrow I've to face the police. I hope that they're nice. Laura