I made a mistake and now it's triggering me into hyperanxiety or freezing mode...

[SeekingAfrica]

I know that didn't make much sense. There are some mistakes I have learned to deal with, but when it comes to money mistakes I still feel like I'll throw up or faint or like someone kicked me in the chest or something...

Today is a day before a trip(trigger) and I have a full schedule with many tasks which can't be skipped. I was supposed to pay rent earlier last week, but we know each other with my landlord for a long time so extensions are okay for the most part. Last week I used my last money to help out a family situation, expecting that I would be paid by Wednesday latest. But then things turned and it ended up that my client went through something urgent as well and so my payment will be a week later. This week.

So I explained that to my landlord and asked for extension. Because my money come via PP and then it takes a while for them to get in my account too, I said I would pay between monday and Friday, very likely Wednesday. And this morning my landlord called expecting to send her at that exact moment, because she has celebration she;s preparing today and they need the money.

I can't pay. Until my pay I''m on my last money quite literally, and I can't move the trip, it's going back to my family and the ticket is bought. My hands are tied. And I don't have whom to get them from right now. There is nothing I can do except send money the moment I get them. Which won't be in an hour. It's likely I'll get paid today, but then I'll get them Wednesday. I feel horrible. I probably won't be out on the street, but it's still a crappy situation. I know that I talked it out with my landlord to be sure paying between monday and friday is okay, few times, because I was worried if she'll want to evict me. But she agreed. And now...here we are. I don't know if I'm more scared or feeling crappy, but starting my day like this makes me feel like my heart will stop if I can't fix it now, in this exact moment...

 

[Deleted member 541]

I know that you’re in a tough spot, but all I can say is this. Your bills, including your rent should be a top priority. Bottom line. My rent is the first bill I budget for with no exceptions. No rent, no roof over my head.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I know that you’re in a tough spot, but all I can say is this. Your bills, including your rent should...

I know! If I move okay through this situation, I'm not planning on this happening ever again. I just don't know how I'll get through, but usually it happens even with things that seem impossible. I'm trying to get through my work and other tasks of the day one by one to free time for more work to handle this as fast as possible...I'm trying to take it one bit at a time or I'll hyperventilate.

 

[shimmerz]

I was supposed to pay rent earlier last week, but we know each other with my landlord for a long time so extensions are okay for the most part. Last week I used my last money to help out a family situation,

I think this is when the lesson of 'I come first' clicks in.

Much of my time these days is spent managing stress. I refuse to let it come knocking on my door. I have had enough of it to last 10 lifetimes. Just the nature of that fact means that I become 'me-centric'. I don't do favours for people, unless I know that that favour isn't going to stress me out one little bit.

So, I get what your reactions are all about, but whose decisions put you in the line of fire? Take care of YOU, my friend. This isn't a time to be extending yourself or your finances to others. Another day perhaps in the distance and healed future.

 

[scout86]

Sometimes life is like a game of musical chairs. Everyone's competing for the last chair and someone will get left standing.

Can you pay part of the money? Can you borrow at least part of the money. Your landlord may not need the whole amount right away. These situations are times when it's nice to have a credit card!

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I think this is when the lesson of 'I come first' clicks in.

Much of my time these days is spent ma...

I suppose so. I spend some time around my parents and only now that I'm older I'm starting to get that they aren't greatest in money management. One day recently my mom made the comment of the sorts "when I was young I prefered to be dressed well even when I'm starving." I plainly told her I prefer not to be starving...

But yeah...my finances have been tight, but now because it's about my parents and I have a job and they only have their pensions I felt like I couldn't have said no. But now I ended up in this situation, and not only can I not pay my rent earlier, but also, I am almost out of food-charming, huh?

So yeah, I get it now. I have to take care of myself first and make sure my basics are paid before I'm helping other people. I don't want to feel like this any time soon, or ever. I am going to make a plan of action to improve my finances, as well as my financial management as soon as possible. As far as this situation goes, may be my health is slightly better than it was before, because although I wasn't my most efficient, I did actually do the most important tasks of the day and had a pretty full day. It sucks, but I do recognize that I put myself in that situation in a way, and I will get through it and do better. Thank you for responding! I was kinda freaked out, especially that I got woken up with that situation. I'm doing the best to handle it now.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Sometimes life is like a game of musical chairs. Everyone's competing for the last chair and someone wi...

Well, I could get part, I guess, but that still takes time- not in an hour. She somehow after agreeing about the same thing 3 times, still misunderstood and thought that I can send her the money Monday morning, and she called me monday morning. So it was already too late for that moment particularly.

I am getting some of the money for Wednesday morning. Whatever happened today, the day is gone and they have managed somehow. It sucks but it's a fact. I guess if it's completely dire, they should still have my deposit from when I moved in to cover things for few days, right? I'm not saying they should have been in that situation, or that it's right, I'm just hoping that it was an option if it was really needed. Or if they have borrowed, they can return them when I send them Wednesday. Sadly that was the fastest I can get help. If I knew that at least a day in advance it may have been different. And unfortunately as a self-employed person in a foreign country, it's hard to get credit card. I may be able to do so in a year with some solid proof of good income or this year, but until then I have to manage.