- Thread starter
- #25
somerandomguy
Sponsor
@Lionheart777 - I am so sorry that you have to deal with this injustice on top of your trauma. It's hard to believe even your close friends would treat you that way. No one here who knows you even a little bit would ever think you would ever be capable of doing such a thing.
I think part of the problem for men who are trying to heal is that many of us - and not just victims of CSA - have heard that we're predators by default. Male sexuality is always assumed to be aggressive and predatory, which doesn't necessarily match the way that a lot of us are inclined to be.
Back in college, a gender studies professor told me that all men were rapists or "potential rapists," which broke my brain. I didn't think I was capable of rape. I still don't, but her words and the idea that "real" men were supposed to be aggressive really, truly made me think for decades that I was an actual rapist just because I am a man, and I have never actually raped anyone. I am an extreme case, to be sure, but I have heard of and spoken to other men who have been just as confused as I was.
Can anyone relate?
To say a man is "a potential rapist" criminalizes him, when in reality he hasn't done anything wrong.
I think part of the problem for men who are trying to heal is that many of us - and not just victims of CSA - have heard that we're predators by default. Male sexuality is always assumed to be aggressive and predatory, which doesn't necessarily match the way that a lot of us are inclined to be.
Back in college, a gender studies professor told me that all men were rapists or "potential rapists," which broke my brain. I didn't think I was capable of rape. I still don't, but her words and the idea that "real" men were supposed to be aggressive really, truly made me think for decades that I was an actual rapist just because I am a man, and I have never actually raped anyone. I am an extreme case, to be sure, but I have heard of and spoken to other men who have been just as confused as I was.
Can anyone relate?
To say a man is "a potential rapist" criminalizes him, when in reality he hasn't done anything wrong.
Last edited: