My abuser contacted my therapist - considering seeing a new therapist

[Mee]

Sweetleaf

Your pdoc sounds great!

And you know what? I think you are coping ok. You DID identify that this was not good. It’s Normal to want these situations to work out I think. When we write them down we see and identify the warning signs but in real life to non ptsd sufferers they happen too. Either things work out ok, or they do not and the people muddle through.

Your alertness has stopped you progressing further... that’s ok. It’s good.

We and your pdoc and anyone who understands this ptsd thing also know this after reaction. That it’s kind of worse after you have faced the stuff .

We are so lucky, people like you and I , that we can stay home for a week and hide. Give this reaction what it needs. You have done so well to extract yourself, I hope you realise that.

 

[Sweetleaf]

You really, really don't have to read it for any reason.

Know what's kinda f*cked up to me? I actually would have told someone else this, if they were in my situation, yet it wasn't my automatic reflex reaction like it should have been.

Same deal for a lot of the shit around this situation.

 

[Mee]

Know what's kinda f*cked up to me? I actually would have told someone else this, if they were in my s...

Oh! But I think that's ’normal’. In any situation where things go adrift. Without ptsd, without abuse just unpleasantness. Things go awry; we make mistakes. We err. That's human.

 

[Sweetleaf]

Your pdoc sounds great!

I think it helps that she herself has PTSD. Dunno if I've mentioned that in this thread but, I can really tell that she gets it, and my old T definitely didn't get it lol.

She has a lot more cool tricks to deal with symptoms, for example:

When I first went in and started trying to talk about my abuser contacting my t and all that, she asked me a couple times if I wanted something to suck on, like a mint or lifesaver or something - and I just said no (also realized that "suck on" is not a word combo that I like). She offered again and I just did it - it's funny because she asked all sweetly "which flavor do you want? red green or purple?" like how I would ask a kid, hahaha.

It actually f*cking worked though! It made me calm down just enough to start talking about it all. She said that she does the same thing herself, and had to do it the other morning when she came in and started getting all panicky. Now I know why they are called lifesavers. Lol. Kinda makes me think of that scene in Robin Hood - Men in Tights... hahaha.

I was still pretty panicky and shaking and all that, but, it made enough of a difference that I could actually start communicating lol.

 

[Sweetleaf]

My old t texted me.

Didn't open it, can't read it.

Uuuugh.

Why doesn't she get the message?

 

[ILoveLife]

What the hell? That is weird. Keep ignoring her..
I'm sorry, you need peace from this.

 

[somerandomguy]

Wow. That's ridiculous.

 

[Angelwings]

My old t texted me.

Didn't open it, can't read it.

Uuuugh.

Why doesn't she get the message?[/QUOTE...

What? This just reaffirms your choice to find someone else. She shouldn't be texting you about it, and it shows unhealthy boundaries.

I think it helps that she herself has PTSD. Dunno if I've mentioned that in this thread but, I can re...

My new therapist does this as well. She gives me gum or mints when I am freaking out.

 

[Sweetleaf]

That is weird. Keep ignoring her..

This just reaffirms your choice to find someone else

That's ridiculous.

Thanks for saying that.
I don't like how she keeps doing this stuff :(
It does show unhealthy boundaries, like, what the f*ck?

I had no idea she would be like this. I am so glad that I bailed on her and got a new T. Holy shit.
I just wish I had done it sooner :(

My new therapist does this as well. She gives me gum or mints when I am freaking out.

Lol, I have a life saver in my mouth right now.

 

[Angelwings]

Thanks for saying that.
I don't like how she keeps doing this stuff :(
It does show unhealthy boundar...

What flavor? LOL

 

[Sweetleaf]

Pineapple :) it's like my favorite one haha. TBH I kind of like them all so I just use whatever one my hand grabs first.

 

[Justmehere]

Ugh. She’s still texting you? :confused: Block her number...