Sufferer Existing -ptsd/cptsd- childhood trauma & munchausen by proxy - monophobia & agoraphobia

[magnor]

Welcome to the forum.

It took me until I was 38 years old to break free from my life long abuse by m...

Congruency, your story is like mine and the fact that you broke free gives me hope that all is not lost for me. It wasn't until I started seeing a trauma specialist that they explained to me that the agoraphobia was a symptom of PTSD, not a cause. It sort of "clicked" at that point back in 2016 and helped shift a lot of things. That is when I started waking up and really getting into what PTSD is and what happened to me. Prior to 2016, I was going to phobia specialists trying to get rid of the agoraphobia and it wasn't working. My trauma specialist explained that the abuse was the cause and my mind did what it had to do to protect me (agoraphobia.)

 

[littleoc]

gives me hope that all is not lost for me.

It definitely isn't :hug:

 

[Still Standing]

Can you get on disability so you have money to get out to a place that is different from your current setting, maybe a supportive group home or something like that?

Hi magnor! I am so glad you found this site. It will really help you in your journey with PTSD and your situation you are in right now..."help" as in getting support, an avenue to express yourself, connect with others, and encouragement.

When I read your initial post, my thoughts went exactly to what JEKBreatheandBelieve mentioned. Have your explored the possibility of getting on disability and signed up for discounted housing? Would be able to discuss this with your therapist? He/she might be able to help guide you to such funding or housing programs. But, it is essential that you make a separation from your abusive situation. How can you get to a healthier place in your life, if the abuse is active and ongoing? If you are in the states, you can call your local Health and Social Services and talk to them. They can help about your disability rights. Once you are on disability you might be able to get home care and someone to either shop for you or take you shopping and to your Dr. appts. I have three friends who are on medicaid and they all have these services. It is worth looking into. Keep us posted. We will be here to listen and encourage.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

....gives me hope that all is not lost for me. ....My trauma specialist explained that the abuse was the cause and my mind did what it had to do to protect me (agoraphobia.)

Definitely not lost @magnor ! Yes, the same here from my trauma specialist. I'm still trying to deal with it to this day. Going outside alone is...well...terrifying to me. In the open I am vulnerable. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder as well and my littles inside still believe what my father said to them years ago; that he'll find me wherever I am (because he was in government law enforcement and has connections). I've been outside by myself once since 2015. I hope to increase that time to once a month and then to possibly once a week. Baby steps.

As @Still Standing said I would check into getting disability. It was difficult to get it years ago, and it helped to jump through their hoops to obtain it. I had a kind and caring therapist help me get it. My first T flat out refused even though I was a basket case back then.

 

[Scarlet13]

Hi,
I wanted to tell you that the drugs you took and tapered off of could be contributing to your agoraphobia.

If this is the case, then this symptom is temporary as it could be withdrawal related.

Having said that, stress (from your family) may make withdrawal symptoms from drugs worse and PTSD symptoms worse.

So, the abuse is causing/worsening the symptoms that are making it hard for you to leave the abuse. How can you break this cycle?

What were the meds that you took and stopped? Were they benzos?
Agoraphobia and dearealization can happen as a result of benzo withdrawal. I experienced psychosis from an SSRI. So, my point is all of this may not be you, but may be a result of coming off of psych meds.

Also, PTSD symptoms can get worse when you look at them. It is like poking a wasp nest with a stick.
So, maybe hold off on the EMDR? This is like opening a can worms. And you are trying to process abuse while you are in an abusive environment? And trapped there because of symptoms?
My advice is to do DBT skills or ACT therapy.
You need to focus on skills and stabilization.
I used acceptance and DBT tools and I got severe panic under control so I could sleep at night in one month.
My point is that you can get pretty severe symptoms like agoraphobia under control with the rights tools like DBT or ACT.
This is not exposure therapy for "phobias" these are skills to manage trauma symptoms while you hold off digging down and doing deep healing (EMDR) until you have some skills, stability, and are in a safe place.
I echo looking into disability, group home, and Medicade.

 

[Friday]

@Mish... Please log in to be able to post.

 

[ben1982]

You need to get away from the person with munchausen by proxy as fast as possible. Don't let her know you're leaving if that's possible. People with munchausen by proxy can become very dangerous if their victim is trying to escape. Specially when they are at risk of being exposed. You really have to make escaping this situation your first priority. Emotional healing is important. But first you need to be save.

Are you sure your mother has Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy? I can't help you much with your other problems. But i do know about Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy from experience. So if you have questions let me know. But again. Your first priority is to get to a save environment. Your healthcare provider should be able to help you. Because Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is considered life threatening. Please be save.