UnicornSightings
MyPTSD Pro
Hello. I come here for sage advice. I have admitted to my t the desire to connect more between sessions and his solution is to allow that. Adding an addition secure messaging appt as well as emails (which have always been allowed) and working up to phone calls (my idea in lieu of the messaging sessions to combat my phone anxiety). Now, for the first time in a LONG, LONG time I’m truly excited for something. That longing for connection is going to be met. I will be able to open up more in that capacity and the goal is to bring the openness of writing into the sessions. So there is a goal. And it seems for now he is good with indulging me a lot of contact, should I want/need it. And I don’t abuse it and have really been against it for the most part because I don’t want to take advantage of it. This new part of me wants to accept his claim that longing for connection is natural and ok and lean into it. Here’s a human who finally cares and knows I need someone to truly talk to and is all ready to hear me! It’s an incredible thing! And it’s brand new territory, the idea or really relying on someone to listen and be there. And I do NOT want to ruin it. I wonder if it can bring some real healing, finally. Letting someone in. But, being the worrier that I am, I wonder if all this allowing of connection will cause an obsession. I’m already fairly obsessed with the idea of therapy, being on forums quite often and such. I guess there’s a weird fear of becoming really obsessed with another human being in a way that will cause me tremendous pain. Like, how could I NOT develop crazy strong feelings for someone like that? Right now the feelings I have for him are good. Solid. A good connection and I like him so much. I think I trust him. And I believe he cares. That is huge for me. To not doubt that anymore.
I don’t know. You guys have always been brutally honest with me so I’m asking what you think of this situation.
I don’t know. You guys have always been brutally honest with me so I’m asking what you think of this situation.