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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

Someone accidentally put me down to work from 6pm-2am for a special 50th reunion event (I’m keeping people from driving drunk :D ) but then coming back in the next day at 7:45am.

Lol. Getting about three to four hours? That wouldn’t work for ANYONE

I’m not doing that
 
Way too accommodating has been a default setting I'm working to overcome.
Same. It’s made abuse possible. So... I’m going to be reasonable!

Plus, I’m doubting she realized she scheduled me that way. I’m sure she’ll be willing to fix it — she wouldn’t want her driver to become the worst registration person a few hours after the driving :P
 
So I found out that my new coworker, the coworker from last summer, and the coworker from the summer before that, are all the same person.

This is very confusing. Feels like she’s putting slightly different versions of herself in the world, and hiding from the secret headquarters of 2016. Not quite imposters, but eerily similar copies that aren’t perfect replications of the original

How can I have amazing memory for some things, and then get this confused over who people are? This isn’t even the first time this has happened! For example: One of my best friends I met in 2016, when she was a sophomore. I knew she reminded me of someone but I ignored that. She was a solid blue and bluered (not blue and red, I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to describe it) and that’s not overwhelming and she liked talking about herself and I was interested in her thoughts on things, so we got along really well. Minus some random political beliefs but that’s fuel for great discussion :P Then one day I got her talking (or she got herself talking? Lol) about her favorite series, Lord of the Rings (anything Tolkien!), and suddenly she was the yellow friend I met randomly an entire year ago. I thought I had two different friends who liked Tolkien! Until she got excited and got all yellow.

I have such a headache now. Trying to comprehend this is so weird. Like that lady who didn’t comprehend the concept of left and knew logically that “left existed” so to get to the left side of her plate, she turned right about 300 degrees until she could see the left side of her plate on the right side of her world, and therefore eat it.

Good times
 
’m ashamed that I can’t be positive all the time. I’m doing my best, though.
Seriously?? Where did you get that??? Everyone has bad days, weeks ,months. No one can be positive all the time ....to know happy you must know sad. It's a ying/yang thing. It's what balances people. It's ok to sometime admit you feel down or sad or pessimist. It's staying that way that becomes a problem. And I don't ever see that in you

It is hard to like a person who isn’t positive. I feel weird saying that?
,
That's because you know it's not true. Is it hard to like Darla downer who can't ever find anything good in the world? Yep. But is it hard to like someone who isn't positive every moment? Nope. You bring joy to people by just being you. I've seen it over and over in this site. Letting us see you on the bad days? It doesn't make you unlikable. It makes you human
 
You're awesome.
I went to a conference about synaesthesia once, had artworks and other stuff. Made me understand a bit better.
A guy that suddenly woke up with his hearing massively amplified took pictures of choppers flying over his house, as a way to adjust to the reality of feeling them so close. Hundreds of pics of choppers.
Anyway, there are things you can do.
When I was younger I had a hard time distinguishing people's histories, so I wrote them down and made a binder. I would ask non evasive questions, just here and there, so I could put the pieces together.
I'm rambling. Waiting for coffee. :confused:
 
Hope everything's OK.
I've been thinking of you :D

Yes, everything is okay. I've been a bit overwhelmed, is all. Nothing to worry about! I took on that two-day second job and it was very draining. A doctor warned me not to do stuff like that, but hey, an extra 210$! Not a bad thing at all! It was that job that wanted me to work until 2am on Friday night, and then work again on Saturday starting at 7:45am. Which I said no to, and assumed was a mistake from them not paying attention. Until I realized that they did that to all the kids who agreed to work! One kid, a 20-year-old who knows no better and was probably pretty easy to exploit, was scheduled to work until 2am on Friday night, come in on Saturday at 7:45am, and then work until 2am Sunday morning. As a driver, most of it. Dangerous! They didn't even tell him it was okay to take breaks! I know him (I used to be his boss, a couple of years ago when he was a smaller kiddo (not that I'm much older than him)) and so I let him know that I got the Saturday morning off by making that boundary, but he insisted that he needed the extra money. So did every other kiddo agreeing to work til 2am and then at 7:45am. I suppose if they're physically able to and are okay with it, it's okay -- for now. I still submitted a complaint to protect future kiddos. I'm worried a lot of them thought they would be rejected from the job (kids aren't usually offered 15$ a hour, so it might have felt like a big deal to them) and therefore just agreed to the crazy shifts. The kid who was working two 2am shifts in a row told me he also works a full time job, like I do, so I hope Sunday was enough for a young guy with no brain injuries to recover from.

I like that kid. Had to fire him once, but it wasn't his fault exactly. And my boss actually fired him, not me, and the grounds were determined to be unfair. Potentially due to his race, though I know my boss wasn't racist (and is from Finland and therefore was unclear on one very particular law). As in, this kid has been screwed over before, mainly by his friend.

But anyway, I am exhausted still. My brain sort of shut down and did the basic stuff for a while. I think it was good for my health. I couldn't even cook.

I did treat myself to a very, very fancy restaurant with the tip money I got. I got loads of tips, enough for a restaurant that charges $60 per person (ish, depends on what you get obviously). I will upload a picture of the "salad" they gave me later, because it was hilarious. Literally one leaf of fresh cut arugula, with a half-a-tablespoon (like 2 grams maybe, I'm not sure; just think of it as half a spoonful) of chopped chickpeas, lemongrass, and garlic on top. I made the waitress laugh. Then I got a literal sliver of strawberry daiquiri house-made sorbet (I ordered a whole scope later because why not), and then they served me my dinner, most of which went to my service dog (I know, I'm terrible) because I thought it tasted too strong. It was duck, which is already a pretty tough, fatty, strong-tasting meat. It can overwhelm you a bit, if you're prone to that. But the chef forgot that I guess because she marinated it in raspberry ice tea (why would you do that????? is that fancy???) so my first bite was terrible because there was waaay too much flavor. Took tiny bites from then on, and it was fine. Same with the beat and wine risotto. The sweet potato fingerlings were great though, lol. The one not-expensive item. And I've made better ice cream myself than they did with their house-made ice cream.

I have no idea why I am telling you this, but I hope you were entertained :P My mom sure was. But the service dog loved the duck bites, so I'm very glad about that. All their food was organic, so nothing weird was getting into my pupper's system :)
 

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