Okay, I think I’m feeling a little better. It’ll be nicer when I have a private room again.
I’m ashamed that I can’t be positive all the time. I’m doing my best, though.
It is hard to like a person who isn’t positive. I feel weird saying that?
I rescued someone right before the vacation to home and the wedding. After that it felt like everything hit the fan. I haven’t quite recovered. Didn’t even want to talk about it here... at least, I don’t think I did?
But anyway, he is okay now. He was in the common room chatting casually with me, not fearing for his life, not saying he didn’t want to get me involved.
And on top of that, a guy I helped in 2013 (was that really five years ago?) sent me a message asking me if I would want to be an official witness in what I saw and heard those nights. I told him how brave he is. I’ll talk about it later I guess. I told him to talk to his lawyer about it. Dunno if it would be wise to have me.
This has brought up more death flashbacks which I think was making all this unexpected transition worse. Also the effects of alcohol? I’m never drinking again.. and I was careful, too. Drank a ton of water, had a lot to eat (which made me sick...)
Keep seeing her face, after a car hit her. She wasn’t even conscious. But I don’t know why it’s bothering me, because she lived. And I can’t recognize faces, so... not sure what my brain thinks it’s seeing?
But seeing what other people are doing around this site helped me. I like the people here. Not happy for what they’re going through, but seeing all the work and effort gives me hope and makes me feel calmer.