The past 6 months have been full of ups and downs. Just when my vet and I seem to be going all great, it’s like he sabotages himself and our relationship. I have tried really hard to set boundaries and abide by them. At times I feel like I’m being a bitch to him, but I have to protect my heart. I am hoping to get a little insight and advice on where to go from here because I am angry and hurt.
We’ve been together on/off for about three years. However, this past year, it seems like my guy has gotten worse. His is more easily triggered and retreating into himself more and more. Every time I try to get him to open up, he says he’s fine. I don’t push him; just reassure him I am here if he needs me.
Anyways, as long as we’ve been together, he hasn’t been capable of celebrating anything big or special with me – birthdays, holidays, etc. I’ve come to manage my expectations with that. However, for the past 10 months, I have been working on a huge project at work. One that pushed me beyond belief – sleepless nights and incredibly stressful days. But this past Tuesday night when all the work I did was done and the owner stood on a stage in front of 400+ people and presented it, it was worth it, it felt so good. My vet was not standing beside me at that moment, I was standing alone. I knew he would be able to “take off work” and I didn’t push him. But what cut me deep was that he KNEW what this evening meant to me. He KNEW how hard I work. All day Tuesday, he couldn’t bother to send me a text to say “good luck”. What makes me angry is I sent him a text Monday night pretty much spelling out to him that I needed him to just verbally say something that showed that he supported me. Then to not hear anything. UGH! I am hurt and angry. I realize that I have to do more the heavy lifting in this relationship, but I need to feel supported and loved too.
I am at the point now that until he goes back to get additional treatment and can work on getting to a healthier place, we can no longer be together. Because how can we have a healthy relationship when he is not in a healthy place?
I am moving to another state next Saturday to be closer to my family. We decided we were going to the long-distance thing. But I have a feeling next Saturday I will be loaded up and leaving without a word from him and my heart will be broken.
We’ve been together on/off for about three years. However, this past year, it seems like my guy has gotten worse. His is more easily triggered and retreating into himself more and more. Every time I try to get him to open up, he says he’s fine. I don’t push him; just reassure him I am here if he needs me.
Anyways, as long as we’ve been together, he hasn’t been capable of celebrating anything big or special with me – birthdays, holidays, etc. I’ve come to manage my expectations with that. However, for the past 10 months, I have been working on a huge project at work. One that pushed me beyond belief – sleepless nights and incredibly stressful days. But this past Tuesday night when all the work I did was done and the owner stood on a stage in front of 400+ people and presented it, it was worth it, it felt so good. My vet was not standing beside me at that moment, I was standing alone. I knew he would be able to “take off work” and I didn’t push him. But what cut me deep was that he KNEW what this evening meant to me. He KNEW how hard I work. All day Tuesday, he couldn’t bother to send me a text to say “good luck”. What makes me angry is I sent him a text Monday night pretty much spelling out to him that I needed him to just verbally say something that showed that he supported me. Then to not hear anything. UGH! I am hurt and angry. I realize that I have to do more the heavy lifting in this relationship, but I need to feel supported and loved too.
I am at the point now that until he goes back to get additional treatment and can work on getting to a healthier place, we can no longer be together. Because how can we have a healthy relationship when he is not in a healthy place?
I am moving to another state next Saturday to be closer to my family. We decided we were going to the long-distance thing. But I have a feeling next Saturday I will be loaded up and leaving without a word from him and my heart will be broken.
