New Flashback Of Being Raped,But I'm Out Of My Body

[Jade-]

I have recently experienced a new flashback of being raped at 7 years old, but in the flashback I'm beside myself, outside my body, watching myself being raped. I feel nothing when I have this flashback, I don't even feel anxious. I have been having nightmares of being raped since I started seeing this though. So how do I trust that this is even a true memory or that it happened at all? I feel very confused about the whole thing.

 

[Jade-]

I guess what i'm asking is are all flashbacks true memories or is it possible they can be false ones?

 

[Jade-]

I'm sorry i keep adding to this. I just want to add that my dad was a convicted rapist so i'm wondering if maybe that fact in itself could cause my mind to make up a flashback like that. (i'm hoping that's the case anyway)

 

[Jade-]

Well obviously I'm freaking invisible or something ...what does a person have to do in order to get replies?
Nevermind......sorry.....

 

[Jade-]

OMG........sorry for the above post.

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

Jadebear,

This forum isn't very active, for some reason. I posted a thread a few days ago and not only has no one replied, there haven't been any posts above it. I just looked, and apparently the last activity was 3 months ago.

I don't have a lot of advice, but I thought I'd say that since I'm the only other one here, apparently.

Did the rape actually happen? Or is that what you're not sure about? You said it happened when you were 7, so I thought maybe you were referring to a memory you DID trust.

To answer the question, can flashbacks be false, yes and no. Yes, they can be memories of things that didn't literally happen. But it does suggest that something happened, as random attacks of false memory don't usually extend beyond deja vu for most people.

 

[Monarch]

I personally would trust your memory, you may have dissociated during the event which would be you being outside your body thus allowing you to not feel anything about it, very common. If you believe it happened then it happened, don't discount yourself there

 

[Jade-]

Actually, what is making me so confused is that i'm having a flashback of a rape yet i don't remember ever being raped.I'm hoping this flashback means nothing and is just a figment of my imagination or something. I definitely don't want it to be a real event that happened to me.

 

[reallydown]

Hard to say what happened, however, it could very well be a memory. The being beside yourself and watchign it happen is a kind of dissociation not uncommon, especially for this type of trauma. So, as the otehrs have said, don't discount it just because you don't remember it.

 

[Nicolette]

When I was raped.... I felt nothing, was outside the dark room looking in (even though it wasn't dark and I was in there), saw nothing yet remember everything being said to me....it was like watching a blank screen yet knowing everything. I understand this is disassociation. The nightmares could be due to not having processed the event and now your mind is trying to make sense of it all? For years I had a dream of being in the car with my step father driving down a road that ended just after a toll point with a person in it who said nothing. As the dream progressed I went from being inside the car to outside of it (as in knowing what was happening with all feeling drained from me - numb) and ended up watching it go off the cliff. Dreams are our subconscious so who knows but I would say something is bothering you.

 

[Jade-]

I talked to a family member and told her about my flashback, which in turn must have triggered something in her, and she remembers being there when I was raped. So, evidently my flashback was an event that actually happened. But I still feel nothing when I think about it, so now I'm confused about how I will process this if I don't remember all the details and since I dissociated during it. Actually, I don't want to remember the details or even think about it at all.

 

[Nicolette]

Don't you realise that disassociation & not feeling were your own body's coping mechanisms of protecting you?

You said you didn't want to feel what happened yet on the other hand I get the impression that you want to dig up feelings to make it real. Your family member confirmed the event so what is it that you now want as you have your answer that it was real?