PTSD And Prejudice

[louisa]

I've posted alot tonight. I'm tired of the attitudes of those who don't understand. PTSD is commonly perceived as a mental health issue but how so if it's a natural response to an experience that falls outside the realms of 'normal' experience? Doesn't that make it natural? I feel strongly that it's society and the government that has the real mental health issues (just look at their policies) and am having trouble being labeled as a mental health nut - which is basically what's happening to people with PTSD. How do u all feel about this? I will sign off for a while now, but would appreciate any views on this, lots of love to you all X

 

[Marlene]

I find that there tend to be extremes...ones that don't believe it's real (like my MIL) and those that believe that people who have PTSD are violent time-bombs just waiting for the right (wrong?) person to set them off and then it's going to be a blood bath. I actually read an article by a social worker/therapist and the second was his opinion. I wrote him and told him that his opinion wasn't worth the paper it was printed on. That PTSDers were more likely to turn their rage against themselves and hurt themselves than to turn it outward and thanks for perpetuating a stereotype.

I think if people look at it as a medical problem that is treatable and can be lived with that it would be a lot easier to tell people and not have to worry that they're visually fitting you for a straight jacket.

Lisa

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Marlene,
I agree. How to explain this. ok, one of the 'symptoms' is suicidal thoughts/thoughts of hurting others. Ok, yes sometimes I wish this would end. But what caused it for ME was watching a suicide. So frankly, I would rather be taken out the back and shot before I would actually go that far. I just wouldn't. Yes, I can get angry at my circumstances, but I am SO gentle. I might have days where I think 'oh gosh, this is too hard and what am I gonna do and blah blah' and head into that spiral. But I would never actually suicide and I would never come even close to wanting or causing the death of another.

And I said that to my family. When I explained what was going on I said 'can you please not read up on this and think you're gonna find me hanging in my room one day. Because I find that so abhorrent to my sense of self value - it will just never happen'. I'm just a perfectly good, loving person who happened to see something that was traumatic. And I will fight this for as long as I have to. The only person who will take me out of this world is 'god' (whoever/whatever god is) ...it will never be at my own hands. And nobody else's exit will be at my hands either. Not a chance.

 

[anni]

I don't know what it's like in the UK, but here in the States the social mentality ( in my opinion ) has been deliberatey torqued around to view mental illness from a negative perspective so I feel there is predjudice. Funding was BADLY cut around 15 years ago, and to justify this, it seems like the government downplayed it as a viable diagnosis across the board. Entire mental hospitals were closed down, with the populations literally turned into the streets with no more that a few dollars and a prescription they were supposed to come and get filled somewhere as out patients. It's awful. A huge percentage of our homeless population are mentally ill.

Because PTSD is a neurological disorder, of course this would come under the same predjudices. It's been helped somewhat by it's occurance ( and the need for treatment ) in our military, but even these indivduals often have a terrible time getting the treatment they require. There's also the uphill battle of facing a 'mental illness' and the social stigma thereof.

There really does seem to be a pervasive lack of public information, where metal disorders and mental illnesses are all clumped together in one group, and both equally ill funded. There ARE dedicated professionals working to help those afflicted with both, and together with things like this forum and more public awareness perhaps the proverbial tide can be turned again. It's definitely hard enough to have the 'shame' associated with this stupid PTSD, without feeling as if one is further stigmatized by other's responses, I know!

If everyone, in their healing, can also insist we be acknowledged with dignity as 'suffers' through this journey, perhaps others' journeys will be made a little smoother. It's a big 'perhaps', I know. :)

 

[Deleted member 5760]

I agree Anni. I'm currently single and even thought about posting a thread today entitled 'When Will I Be Ready To Date Again?' . Because it is very hard. If you reveal this 'injury' to someone they might look at you like you're crazy and either they/you are in danger. There is a massive stigma around mental illness that is so often unwarranted. What I've found on this site is a bunch of beautifully sensitive and caring people. If that is 'scary' then ..?

Also, I am speculating here as I am ~not~ a doctor - if the idea of harm didn't bother someone, then surely they wouldnt have been left with PTSD in the first place. Obviously, danger to the 'self' (whether it be them or another) really bothered this person with PTSD. Which speaks volumes in terms of how sensitive and protective someone with PTSD is in terms of 'facing harm to self or another'.

-jen

P.S - from what I have personally felt (and can only speak for myself) and from what I have read from others - someone with PTSD will tend to withdraw from conflict, rather than create it. And I think a lot of the confusion at 'angry outbursts' or something of this nature can come from this feeling. It's a way of avoiding conflict, or dealing with conflict (which is an extremely uncomfortable thing for someone with PTSD). And if they are seen as 'egging someone on' it's probably because they are offended by an action (verbal or physical) which they see could result in conflict. Hence - they can be personally offended and react.

 

[AdamAnt]

If someone were to witness a robbery and get shot in the heart in the malay, there would be sympathy and doctors working non-stop to save that life. I see PTSD much in the same light. I think that the fact that there are no clear answers scares the medical and governmental communities, so rather than say they don't have the answers, they'd prefer sweep it under the rug and spend the research money on more profitable endeavors....

 

[James B.]

What I tell people who *need to know* is: "my sister and I are trauma survivors, we both have problems with anxiety". I feel no need to challenge a world wide stigma, I have related the facts, not told a lie or even minimized the truth.

Was invited to a very nice dinner party a few weeks ago. It was hosted by my neighbor who wanted me to meet two of his special friends. The conversation/environment was both light and intimate. One of the guests boldly told me right off, he was an incest/rape survivor. I shared that I was an incest and trauma survivor. After dinner, our host played the piano, one of guests sang - it was very special. Later, we sat around talking, the atmosphere was right, and I disclosed I had suffered from bulimia for ten years, ending 20 years ago, and got a lot of support. Our host disclosed his sister had died from anorexia. We formed a bond that night, a special thing in my life, as I have lived in shame of my trauma for many years, and never had support from male peers, ever.

Why martyr myself trying to educate the average person about this? To me, it is a simple waste of time, and in direct contrast to my maxim of reducing triggers at all cost. My job is to heal, not beat my head against a perverbial brick wall - there's plenty of frustrations in my life without worrying what the (mainstream media fed) masses "think" or "believe". Ignorance is rampant, always has been, probably always will be. I cannot change other people, let them live in darkness, who cares? That's just my experience, my opinion.

Thanks for letting me share.

 

[GodSeeker]

Hello,

First frogive my English as it is not my native language.

Looks like a lot of people are tuned on the same subject in different threads. It was another intitled: "We don't have to be ashamed of having PTSD"

The first impression is that this subject is not of importance compared to the mountains of anxieties, depressions, lonelinesses,..but if we think it over, it turns out that it is of crucial importance and we should meditate upon it. We suffer of what we believe we are, not of the actual situation. We believe that having "PTSD" is something "abnormal", something to get rid of if we want be part of this world. Sound somewehaty childish and trivial bu wee are driven by these childish thoughts.

The thoughts we hold about ourselves are deterministic of our behaviour. what we read, see, in this world (mainly mass media) do nothing but erxacerbate the feeling that something must be wrong with us. Our daily experience, all the pictures we see, the opinions we hear or read affect our concept of "what we should be" It builds a model of existence in order to be admitted in the society.

If a man had a car accident, it is obvious and reazonable to bring him all the assistance he may need because his wounds are visible. But this doesn't seem to be so obvious when what is hurt is your internal identity, your belief in the safety of the world or your selfesteem. Apparently we are not hurt, ther no visible wounds. We may even look healthier than the average person (anxiety and hypervigilance help weight loss :)) so we are told "Come on!! Shake yourself out of it!!"

This is understandable because we cannot show up a wounded selfesteem. How to visualize a fear. No!! That convices no one!! It must be blood or some fractured wounds. "Come on!! There is nothing to be so sad about? What's the matter with you? don't be a coward!" These answers are we told when we express a wound that is not visible. And this was always like that. Nothing changed despite all what we could think about bulding more hospitals, the drug industry, the spread of psychotherapy, thechnology, etc...

The average person just doesn't get it: How somebody in the prime of age, good looking, intelligent, with a lot of ressources come to feel like a nobody, be sad, have no friends, or push away relatives!! There "seems" to be nothing wrong!! We are fed with these opinions and end up worse.

What if we believe our suffering as normal, we would not struggle so much to "appear normal" as this is the root ouf an unnecessary despair, we would let our fears, our forbidden thoughts to emerge, we would express ourselves faithfully (because we have nothing but our selves, and if we are not honest with our selves nothing is worthy living), we would "process" things out. And you know what is the funny thing about all that? A time will come when you have no more distress. You just have noyhing to hide anymore.

I want to finish quoting R.D. Laing:

“Given the conditions of contemporary civilization, how can one claim that the 'normal' man is sane? The condition of alienation, of being asleep, of being unconscious, of being out of one's mind, is the condition of the normal man. Society highly values its normal man. It educates children to lose themselves and to become absurd, and thus to be normal. Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last fifty years”

 

[gdf]

To All,

I think that a lot of the above rings true across the board. I am with James b. to a large degree in that I dislike(d) desperately needing help and having to spend time educating professionals about why I needed it. In a vulnerable state, no one wants the added pressure of being the teacher.

I also grew tired of being "honest" with professionals making sweeping assumptions about me. E.g., if a man has PTSD then it must be combat related if they are of the appropriate age for military service. If you are a woman then you were sexually abused. People connect the dots quite efficiently it seems. It's almost like some voyeuristic tendency--like their treatment for the anxiety will much better if they know your father molested you or what method was used to torture you as a POW.

After I had left (or rather got booted out) by the family practitioner (who ironically listed the treatment of anxiety disorders as a specialty area of his) I found myself in the office of a female nurse practitioner who, upon my disclosing my PSTD, asked me point blank "were you sexually abused?" This was the first time I had ever seen her. Point is people form their own opinions based on media and "book learnin" without getting to know individuals and seeing how it affects the person.

So, the prejudices and stereotypes continue.

Gina

 

[Deleted member 5760]

yup, i know exacccctly what you mean.

And I will bring up something else (and I really hope I'm not drifting too far from stereotype to warrant a warning)

When people find out Im gay their first reaction is 'but you dont look gay?... do you hate men or something?'


??? I have absolutely NO problem whatsoever with men. Some of the best friends I've ever had in life were male. I told my parents I was gay when i was 15 years old!!! ... yup, that's how long Ive had to get used to this. And back then, trust me, it was NOT 'lady gaga cool'... stereotypes, ya know? ...*shrugs*... I literally did come out 15 years ago.... So if i walk into a therapist's office and say 'yes my ex was a she' and she looks at me like I'M confused I think 'maybe I think you are the one placing too much importance on this... because I got over it a LONG time ago' ...it's not a big deal to me... I walk in and they think 'she doesnt look gay - mustve been raped or something'......??? stereotypes...

P.S - here's my 'secret' - I blame myself for the fact my best friend jumped off a building because he was in love with me... and my response was 'Im sorry, but Im gay'.... :( ...he knew it from the start and didnt want to accept it could be true... I suppose we're all having a cry tonight eh...

I dont hate men at all... I think men and women can be equally as good or bad as each other. But it's a stereotype. If I like women then obviously I MUST hate men (WTF!?!?!)

 

[gdf]

Hi superjen,

It never fails to amaze me...people assume many times that I am gay because I never married, chose not to have children and gave up dating in my 30's (because of the PTSD thing basically). Sooooo...do you say I'm not gay and then have to explain PTSD or say I don't date 'cause of PTSD and let people think you're nuts? I decided people will think what they want about a person's life style. Best I can do is live up to my own standards, tread gently in the world and let the light shine so to speak. I just find it frustrating that medical people label me before getting all the facts. One primary care doc said I had generalized anxiety disorder--my medical insurance refused to pay for the office visit sticking me with a $126 bill because it was considered a mental health diagnosis. Prejudice costs money some days.

Gina

 

[AthenaErdmann]

Yep, all kinds of prejudice and stereotyping suck.

Especially when people who are supposed to be the experts and the helpers really have no clue whatsoever.

I once saw a woman gynecologist who claimed that I could not have been sexually abused because I would certainly remember something so horrible. That was before I had remembered anything specific, when I was still wondering.

...If I like women then obviously I MUST hate men (WTF!?!?!)

...and because I like both, I cannot possibly want to have or be capable of having a monogamous relationship. So because I in my early thirties fell in love with and married a man and had kids with him, I never was a Real Bi - too many of the experts "just know" that I "always" was a closet hetero. No matter what I say myself about my feelings or motives (currently or historically), or my relationships during the 10+ years before I met him.

"If you're not sleeping around, you're not bi - if you're not sleeping around anymore, you never were bi" or "It was a phase, caused by the abuse" :doh:

Of course, this gets them nicely off the hook - they don't need to discuss something they are not at ease with and/or not knowledgeable about.