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Feeling extremely dark these days...

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SeekingAfrica

Diamond Member
Like everything is hopeless and everything gets harder and harder. And also guilty for the times last year when I was doing bad. Today was so mad that I really started to feel hopeless and helpless so it started off this alarm in my head. This alarm telling me I am sliding towards that feeling that nothing will ever get better. That feeling scares me.

So I browsed few articles and I am making a plan for the next week in case the feeling persists. Because I want to keep going, despite what my mind decides every once in a while. I want to know that I'll survive my big issues this month and that I can get to a more positive place. So here is what I've got so far:

1. To try and write list of positive reasons to live
2. Positive affirmations, prayer, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises- mindfulness things that ground me to worry less about future
3. Schedule things and keep busy- I have dance classes both days of the weekend and I am alone on Christmas here on Monday, and it's non-work day which sets me off sometimes, so I scheduled chat with a really good friend that I know I can tell anything to. Plus just the idea of talking to her makes me feel better
4. Try to follow my morning and night routines and make them as detailed as I can in small steps I can follow
5. Find ways to vent- journal, write here, talk to my friend, find local hotlines, schedule session with T asap (probably next friday)
6. Have a full schedule??? I read somewhere this would help, to make a plan even for non-work days so you have less time for such thoughts....but sometimes too full schedule makes me more anxious...not sure if to do that...
7. Take steps towards some of my goals, mini steps, just to move forward even if I think I can't...
8. Catch up on any odd tasks I never get to, to keep busy(like spring cleaning the apartment, organizing pics from happy times...)

Anyone has more ideas or thoughts on these ideas? I spend a lot of today literally sleeping or feeling like I'll throw up if I attempt to do anything and feeling like I can't get through the challenges this month, and that feeling scared me a LOT. So while I have some peaceful moment this evening I am trying to be proactive, even though I feel like an idiot for doing it half the time...
 
That's a great list! Don't forget the self care though. A new haircut. A nice warm bath. Read your favorite book or poetry.... Hugs to you!
 
That's a great list! Don't forget the self care though. A new haircut. A nice warm bath. Read your favorite book or poetry.... Hugs to you!
Thanks! I am really trying. Some moments are better and some are a lot worse. I am wishing this period is over soon...
 
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