Daughter’s Therapist Has Posted Over 650 Yelp Reviews

[Deanna]

Just wondering of your thoughts on a therapist who has written and posted over 650 Yelp reviews? My instinct was of alarm. It seems as though the therapist has a HUGE need to be heard, recognized, and have influence over what others think and do. She blogged about being "crushed" by the fact that she never met a man to have children with also. These "rants" are rather ominous as she is presently treating my teenage daughter from whom I am estranged. Comments? Thank you!!

Curious...Why are you estranged from your teenage daughter? Neverermind..... Just read about it.

 

[joeylittle]

@Rebecca69 - have you or your daughter been diagnosed with PTSD?

 

[Sideways]

Not tracking my daughter's reviews. She does not blog.

No. Like I said, you’re tracking your daughter’s T (ie. therapist) online. Wtf? That’s really unhealthy. Stop it. It would make a small amount of sense if you were checking in on your daughter online since she’s not speaking to you, but her T? That’s just creepy. Back off. If she trusts this T enough to go back to her? You don’t need to like it, but you do need to respect her decision.

The court ordered your child into therapy? Thank the court the court for that. You’ve said that dad was absent till recently, so clearly, your relationship with your daughter sucked before dad stepped in. He now has, and is supporting her to continue with a T who has no conflict of interest with her ex boyfriend. That all sounds like a dad who has (finally) decided to step up. So screwing with that, instead of supporting it? Is completely selfish.

You think your daughter should keep a relationship with her a T who is simultaneously supporting her ex? Wtf!

You think that she should have broken it off “properly” with her old T? That ain’t how it works, and how the hell is that any of your business?

You think her dad is a bad guy for financially supporting her to get help? Wtf. A shittonne of members here would appreciate financial help with our therapy. It’s not cheap. But it can be lifesaving. So try being supportive.

Instead of bitching to the other mothers about how much your daughter’s T uses the internet, how about you start looking, with the same amount of passion, at yourself, and what you can change about you to make you worthy of your daughter’s time (because she doesn’t owe you any kind of relationship). Clearly you hadn’t nailed the whole mothering and child thing - according to you she’s tried to choke you, and now won’t have anything to do with you. So microanalysing her T’s internet habits? Are not going to get far.

FYI: empathy is the ability to understand that her T might feel genuine distress about not having her own children. If you’re struggling with empathy that much that you can’t just settle with, “I understand that might be really sad for her T”, then start there. Because being able to empathise is going to be critical to you having any chance of rescuing this relationship.

I think you’ve come to the wrong website to bitch about your child’s behaviour, or undermine her relationship with her T.

 

[Rebecca 69]

No. Like I said, you’re tracking your daughter’s T (ie. therapist) online. Wtf? That’s really unhealthy. Stop it. It would make a small amount of sense if you were checking in on your daughter online since she’s not speaking to you, but her T? That’s just creepy. Back off. If she trusts this T enough to go back to her? You don’t need to like it, but you do need to respect her decision.

The court ordered your child into therapy? Thank the court the court for that. You’ve said that dad was absent till recently, so clearly, your relationship with your daughter sucked before dad stepped in. He now has, and is supporting her to continue with a T who has no conflict of interest with her ex boyfriend. That all sounds like a dad who has (finally) decided to step up. So screwing with that, instead of supporting it? Is completely selfish.

You think your daughter should keep a relationship with her a T who is simultaneously supporting her ex? Wtf!

You think that she should have broken it off “properly” with her old T? That ain’t how it works, and how the hell is that any of your business?

You think her dad is a bad guy for financially supporting her to get help? Wtf. A shittonne of members here would appreciate financial help with our therapy. It’s not cheap. But it can be lifesaving. So try being supportive.

Instead of bitching to the other mothers about how much your daughter’s T uses the internet, how about you start looking, with the same amount of passion, at yourself, and what you can change about you to make you worthy of your daughter’s time (because she doesn’t owe you any kind of relationship). Clearly you hadn’t nailed the whole mothering and child thing - according to you she’s tried to choke you, and now won’t have anything to do with you. So microanalysing her T’s internet habits? Are not going to get far.

FYI: empathy is the ability to understand that her T might feel genuine distress about not having her own children. If you’re struggling with empathy that much that you can’t just settle with, “I understand that might be really sad for her T”, then start there. Because being able to empathise is going to be critical to you having any chance of rescuing this relationship.

I think you’ve come to the wrong website to bitch about your child’s behaviour, or undermine her relationship with her T.

Well thank you again for your insight. It is the current therapist, who saw both her and her ex bf simultaneously., not the orior.

The dad stepped in intermittently BEFORE the choking episode and tried to deny that it happened. He undermined my parenting , which included boundaries, which he does not implement. He hired her a lawyer , and blamed me for her behavior. He takes no blame. Sadly, his two sons are damaged by his narcissism as well. One is a drug addict who fathered a baby born to a woman in prison last month. That was to be kept secret. Do you think he will take that poor baby in? Not a chance, but will host fundraisers for foster and at risk children.

The T knows she will get paid by him regardless. I am estranged from my daughter because I do not co sign on some of her choices and she is an entitled individual who lacks respect, even for her father, but knows how to manipulate him and others. My daughter is there because he will but her anything and allow her to do whatever
she pleases without guile. College paid for, no job needed. Does not build any character there. Both dons suffered being under achievers as a result. He supports them all financially only.

The T can help her soothe herself, but without accountability there is no growth or adaptation. Duly noted on the lack of empathetic dialogue on behalf of the childless T. I hope she fulfills that need in some other meaningful way. I don t know about you, but I for one require confrontation and challenge in order to change that which is maladaptive in me, and I am a person in long term recovery of 28 years. Thank you again for your input.

 

[hithere]

I really enjoyed doing yelp reviews for years for a variety reasons. Initially being seen publicaly was off-putting and took some getting used to. . As a business owner I like supporting businesses and directing traffic to their door.. As a consumer I like warning people of crappy experiences. Not only that, I used yelp while traveling and was so glad to have that resource. I hate spending money on a wild gamble about a business, and yelp reviews help a lot. (today I'm not happy with yelp as they hold businesses hostage that get a lot of positive reviews, then demand thousands of dollars or they will withhold positive reviews and only allow negative reviews to go through. I just learned that from a friend who owns a restaurant and then had it confirmed it. I will never use yelp again) I know I went off topic, but I say all that to say I don't think 650 reviews from a yelper is weird or even that many. There are many yelpers. Some people like being online. She doesn't have kids, so she has even more time to spend writing reviews. Again, I enjoy writing reviews. It's fun.

Having a blog to rant about deeply personal feelings is normal. Her feelings of not bearing children is very normal, super normal, in fact so normal it is written about in ancient texts. It's a human experience and there is a depth of pain that one can't understand unless you have experienced it. Writing about deeply personal things on a public blog doesn't mean she is self-centered. She sounds to me like someone who likes "sharing" her experiences with the world to help people. It comforts me to read others' experiences online that are like my own (HELLO myptsd). To write publically without being anonymous shows bravery to me, and show me someone is not ashamed of themselves, and feels they do not need to "hide." I think it shows healthy self-esteem.

Her online activity is not a reflection of her ability to hear and see your daughter and help her connect her feelings and behavior. It sounds like your daughter has a lot to unpack. Anger issues, in my opinion, are the result of not feeling safe and not being able to attach. Your estrangement from her is sad. Mothers can be a wonderful source of comfort and support. She must view you as emotionally dangerous and have some deep resentments and bitterness toward you. Really sad for her that she doesn't have that mother daughter relationship where she feels she has an ally in life. Really sad for you as I'm sure you love your daughter.

I don't see anything abnormal about this therapist from what you have posted. If something seems off, it may be that you feel your daughter is moving further away from you, and that feels off. While we heal from PTSD we need to move away from sources of stress, it doesn't mean it's forever.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Just wondering of your thoughts on a therapist who has written and posted over 650 Yelp reviews?

That she likes giving her thoughts on business? She knows how much we rely on reviews these days and she would like to support or not support businesses with her own reviews. f*ck, I give a shit ton of Amazon reviews. What does that say about me? Typically we only review products (or businesses) when the product/business was really great or really not great. So, she's giving her opinions. It means she knows we have free speach in this world. Not sure it can say much else. Its a f*cking review. It doesn't say a whole lot.

I am concerned about some of the influences in her life and my therapist does NOT Yelp excessively or at all, and I appreciate your feedback. It just seems that some therapists are needier than others, which does not render them ineffective or dangerous, just perhaps not very occupied.

Wait, what?

Not tracking my daughter's reviews. She does not blog. What I noticed was that this therapist is someone who posts A LOT on Yelp. I wonder about the motivation to do so almost compulsively.

No but you are cyber stalking her therapist which is highly unhealthy!

I paid for half of the last therapist, and my daughter left that relationship without ending it properly with the therapist

What, exactly, is a "proper ending" with a therapist? A "proper ending" with a therapist doesn't exactly exist. There is just an ending. Everyone does that ending differently. There is no "proper" one.

She was court ordered there after choking me

So, not a great relationship. So you are thinking cyber stalking her therapist is gonna help that if she found out? By the way, my therapist tells me everything. When my brother found out who my therapist was and decided to call my therapist and lie to him trying to paint me as a crazed opiate addict (which my therapist knows what meds I take, why, how and when I take them, and what substances I was actually addicted to and was using, with therapist knowledge, for 2 years of my therapy. I hide nothing from my therapist) to try to get my therapist to drop me, he read to me the note that the office wrote down. They could not confirm or deny that I was a patient there due to HIPPA laws but they could certianly listen and they wrote down verbatim what he said and then it was given to my therapist whom then read it to me. If you don't think her therapist won't tell her you are doing this you are sadly mistaken. She is 18 and should know what you are up to. Also, she is 18 and an adult. It is none of your business what therapist she chose or why. Nor is it any of your business what that therapist does on their off time.

This person is upset that she did not find someone during her childbearing years and longs for that.

Wait, what about those woman you can't have children?

You are talking about the therapist here? How is any of that any of your business?

Sadly, his two sons are damaged by his narcissism as well. One is a drug addict who fathered a baby born to a woman in prison last month. That was to be kept secret. Do you think he will take that poor baby in? Not a chance, but will host fundraisers for foster and at risk children.

Again, how is that any of your business?

He hired her a lawyer , and blamed me for her behavio

Her anger could have had a lot to do with your behavior. Just from this post you sound very bitter to me and have super poor boundries yourself. It is not ok to cyber stalk your child's therapist with Yelp reviews! Period!

The T knows she will get paid by him regardless

As she should. Therapist's get paid by the hour. Regardless of the out come or what family member is happy about it or not!

I am estranged from my daughter because I do not co sign on some of her choices and she is an entitled individual who lacks respect, even for her father, but knows how to manipulate him and others. My daughter is there because he will but her anything and allow her to do whatever
she pleases without guile. College paid for, no job needed. Does not build any character there. Both dons suffered being under achievers as a res

Not what I am getting from what I am reading. If I were your adult daughter, I wouldn't talk to you either just from this thread alone. Just saying!

Loads of people are telling you following your adult daughter's therapist's Yelp reviews and then trying to fit that into some sort of pathology is wrong but here you are on page two still justifying it. And you wonder why she's estranged?

You need to seek therapy yourself. Nothing about this is healthy! And stop cyber stalking your ADULT daughter's therapist and trying to fit that into some sort of pathology. It means nothing besides she likes to write reviews!

 

[grit]

According to MYPTSD website:
I posted Messages 950
and had 1,586 Likes
all in one year to boot!
I hope no one ever finds out!

and ouch they are all personal...

At least you know one thing this therapist's personal issues and they are not murderers or worse...Let your child decide for themselves. Even deciding for themselves will show some strength regardless whatever else they need help with.

 

[Sideways]

I don t know about you, but I for one require confrontation and challenge in order to change that which is maladaptive in me,

Your daughter isn’t speaking to you. Even if she’s the horrible, abusive, entitled brat you’re describing (mind-blowing all by itself), she’s still your daughter.

That must be painful. It must really, really hurt. You care, right?

Is that not enough of a challenge to warrant some self-examination? Change?

Your daughter has demonstrated that she’s willing to change her attitude to relationships. She’s on reasonable terms with a dad that previously wasn’t really in the picture. If she’s changed her approach to him? There’s every reason she could change her approach to you. If you’re willing to work for it.

You seem to struggle to find anything nice to say about your daughter. So, maybe you don’t want a relationship with her. But cyberstalking her T would suggest you do still care about her, despite the horrible way you’ve described her.

So take up the challenge. You’ve put blame on everyone else for this situation. But the only person you can actually change? Is you. So, what’s your contribution to the terrible relationship you now have with your daughter, and how can you change that to recover a relationship with her?

 

[hithere]

The dad stepped in intermittently BEFORE the choking episode and tried to deny that it happened. He undermined my parenting , which included boundaries, which he does not implement.

This really is a big, big problem and I understand it all too well. It can have a damaging effect on the child. I hope she can get the help she needs.

 

[blackemerald1]

Did I miss something on this thread because I'm still trying to find an answer to the question about if you or your daughter have ptsd...

Why are you here on this forum disclosing your own personal discontent and judging others for doing the same?

 

[Justmehere]

I wouldn’t care if my therapist or a family member’s therapist was a frequent yelp reviewer. There isn’t exactly a lot of fame and glory in that, and even if there was, don’t care. Might be a distraction between sessions at a very hard job.

Speaking of distractions... is yelp and tracking this therapist online a help to your own process to rebuild the relationship with your daughter or is a hindrance? Is it helping you help your daughter and you? Or is it creating distrust where it doesn’t need to be?

 

[siniang]

Just wondering of your thoughts on a therapist who has written and posted over 650 Yelp reviews? My instinct was of alarm. It seems as though the therapist has a HUGE need to be heard, recognized, and have influence over what others think and do

How another person - one YOU don't have to interact with, mind you - spends their free time is none of your business. Just because you can't understand and approve of another person's interests and hobbies doesn't make them any more right or wrong. (I don't "get" partying and going out and drinking, yet, those very people who love that are extremely reliable and professional colleagues. Just an example).

Ton of prejudice you're trying to use to build a case against that T, you even resorting to stalking. As has been mentioned before: it's creepy. You are trying to control your (adult) daughter and put a lot of judgement on another person you do not know personally. Not your place.