Relationship Success stories please!!

[Respectfully1979]

This sounds similar to my situation. I would be interested to see how yours works out and let u know mine too. I still want it to work as I fell for the wonderful guy he is in person, but at in therapy for my depression over him isolating (7 weeks no contact without warning ?) and haven’t tackled discussing it with him yet or whether he ever will with me.

More than happy to share, especially if I can help anyone going through the same thing. I made contact with him last night and he’s suggested meeting up next week. Time will tell and I’ll update you if there’s anything useful to share. ?

 

[LuckiLee]

Has he been diagnosed and is he in therapy?

 

[Respectfully1979]

Has he been diagnosed and is he in therapy?

Yes, it’s diagnosed. He was at the tail end of having treatment when we met. Was having light therapy and I think she covered off some counselling too, but not ? sure. He then stopped, as they said that he was in a good place, then a short while later said that he was showing signs of it coming back and then it came on hard. He said it was a massive shock to him. I’m sure he would know that it’s cyclical though no? I’m really not sure of much tbh! Hopefully in time I’ll be able to ask. If I do see him this week though, I’m going to try and keep it lighthearted and steer clear from any heavy duty stuff!
I’ve got no clue as to what inroads he’s made into getting help this time. I know he said he was exhausted by the idea of going through treatment again.

 

[Woundedhealer]

My guy is only capable of short visits every 10 days or so with little to no contact in between. He’ll call randomly and ask to see me and we’ll spend some time together but how he feels each time can vary. last night he said he can’t do emotions right now but that he was gonna go to bed but wanted to see me instead. He can’t handle the label of relationship so we just don’t go there but I know he’s faithful and honest and just trying to cope and survive right now. He mostly works.
It’s definitely hard at times for sure but I’m trying to focus on my life and what I can do to better me. It sucks leaving him not knowing when I’ll see him next but he thanks me for being amazing and patient. Sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting for him to “ wake up” and come back to me ... but I have to constantly remind myself that it’s not about me. He’s said a few times recently how he just wants to feel normal again, that he hates feeling this way but he can never go much more into detail than that and he doesn’t like wasting his time with me talking about his issues.

 

[unbrokenn]

I’m applying to colleges and I got into one already!
I never thought I’d live to 17 so honestly this is such a weird feeling haha :)
But my tips are to just keep your head up and remind yourself that time passes and with each day comes more and more opportunities for you to better yourself. You can do it :)

 

[HealingMama]

My supporter would say you need patience and need to understand who is the "normal person you love" vs the monster acting out that the person you love wishes did not exist. Keep your boundaries, and if your sufferer is hurting you understand that hurt people hurt people. Self-care is important.

 

[grit]

From what I learned in this site and since I have been in therapy, and honestly I wish I knew before, is that the sufferer should really have his or her own therapy. Without therapy, no way one can have a healthy and long term relationship with a person who has a high symptomatic PTSD or sure they can but it will be a very challenging. Personally I do not find relationships necessarily challenging anymore than living a single life - I do not have that core belief.
A therapist for the sufferer will ensure that you have support and you learn about you and your own boundaries and dependency issues if any. It is like that old Mastercard commercial - do not have PTSD person in your life without a therapist...do not leave home without it!
I think you doing this post already shows you are super aware so hopefully you stay that way.

Good luck.

 

[Respectfully1979]

It’s been a while but I wanted to provide an update... Well, following two months of practically nothing, I had an unexpected visit and I have my amazing man back in my life! We talked and talked and talked and although there’s a long road ahead, I now know that our feelings are just as strong and he feels the same way about me as I do about him. He’s warned me to expect ups and downs and I know that during these times I need to continue with being patient and not taking anything to heart, as deep down the foundation is strong in the knowledge of our love for each other and choice to be together. It’s all a bit surreal tbh, but I wanted to share in case it gives others hope. Thanks everyone for sharing their stories and offers of advice. Xxx

 

[Woundedhealer]

It’s been a while but I wanted to provide an update... Well, following two months of practically nothing, I had an unexpected visit and I have my amazing man back in my life! We talked and talked and talked and although there’s a long road ahead, I now know that our feelings are just as strong and he feels the same way about me as I do about him. He’s warned me to expect ups and downs and I know that during these times I need to continue with being patient and not taking anything to heart, as deep down the foundation is strong in the knowledge of our love for each other and choice to be together. It’s all a bit surreal tbh, but I wanted to share in case it gives others hope. Thanks everyone for sharing their stories and offers of advice. Xxx

Awe ... I’m so happy for you! I had to walk away from my guy cause the silence was deafening. But I am very happy for you! Thank you for sharing! I wish you the best of luck and strength as you go through this journey!

 

[DDB]

It’s been a while but I wanted to provide an update... Well, following two months of practically nothing, I had an unexpected visit and I have my amazing man back in my life! We talked and talked and talked and although there’s a long road ahead, I now know that our feelings are just as strong and he feels the same way about me as I do about him. He’s warned me to expect ups and downs and I know that during these times I need to continue with being patient and not taking anything to heart, as deep down the foundation is strong in the knowledge of our love for each other and choice to be together. It’s all a bit surreal tbh, but I wanted to share in case it gives others hope. Thanks everyone for sharing their stories and offers of advice. Xxx

So so pleased for you and this does give me hope. The difference is my guy as far as I know has not had help or admitted he needs it. He has stayed silent now for two and a half months but I think he’s thinking I’m better off without him rather than not wanting us as he came back with similar timing last year in a good place and so into us; until his job situation changes and slowly he went downhill again.
Can I ask whether you contacted him at all during the isolation?
Im sending occasional neutral texts hoping he’s ok/fun pics that don’t require an emotive reply so he’s knows I’m still here for him. All I can do is hope that he also realises how good a we can be together and eventually I can talk to him about therapy.

 

[Respectfully1979]

So so pleased for you and this does give me hope. The difference is my guy as far as I know has not had help or admitted he needs it. He has stayed silent now for two and a half months but I think he’s thinking I’m better off without him rather than not wanting us as he came back with similar timing last year in a good place and so into us; until his job situation changes and slowly he went downhill again.
Can I ask whether you contacted him at all during the isolation?
Im sending occasional neutral texts hoping he’s ok/fun pics that don’t require an emotive reply so he’s knows I’m still here for him. All I can do is hope that he also realises how good a we can be together and eventually I can talk to him about therapy.

I messaged from time to time, being mindful of not putting any pressure on or expecting any kind of response. On occasion, the situation lent itself for me to be more forthright and tell him exactly how I felt though. My biggest thing was wanting him to know exactly how I felt about him and the fact that I wasn’t giving up hope or ready to even think about contemplating it being over. He never replied to these messages which I always took as a positive that he didn’t want me to give up. When I spoke to him, he said that none of his behaviour was down to us or me and that he never questioned his feelings for me. The reunion was so unexpected and out of the blue though, and it was down to him having a ‘good day’ and spontaneously wanting to see me. Now that we’ve spoken I think he realises that it’s a good thing having me around, as he said that I’m the only person he’s let in this much which was a surprise. Main thing, if you love him and don’t want to move on, then you don’t have to. Focus on not taking his behaviour personally and hopefully in time he’ll come back to you. All the best! X

 

[DDB]

Than

I messaged from time to time, being mindful of not putting any pressure on or expecting any kind of response. On occasion, the situation lent itself for me to be more forthright and tell him exactly how I felt though. My biggest thing was wanting him to know exactly how I felt about him and the fact that I wasn’t giving up hope or ready to even think about contemplating it being over. He never replied to these messages which I always took as a positive that he didn’t want me to give up. When I spoke to him, he said that none of his behaviour was down to us or me and that he never questioned his feelings for me. The reunion was so unexpected and out of the blue though, and it was down to him having a ‘good day’ and spontaneously wanting to see me. Now that we’ve spoken I think he realises that it’s a good thing having me around, as he said that I’m the only person he’s let in this much which was a surprise. Main thing, if you love him and don’t want to move on, then you don’t have to. Focus on not taking his behaviour personally and hopefully in time he’ll come back to you. All the best! X

Thank you that exactly how I feel about it and exactly what I want to do despite others telling me to forget and move on I just won’t. So happy for you and thank you for sharing and keeping my hope alive. X