An update because I'm feeling a bit stressed:
So, I started to think that I hadn't been referred to the right place because the appointment for the initial assessment call was coming through my area's general talking therapies service rather than the specific trauma centre. I phoned the trauma centre and they said my GP could refer directly to them. Contacted my GP surgery...GP said she had referred me to there so didn't know why it had been picked up by the general service. Said she would look into it and get it sorted. An admin person at the surgery picked it up and made several calls, was great at keeping me updated...final message was that I needed to keep this appointment as it was the right route because it's all part of the same thing anyway. Fine.
Did the call a couple of weeks ago. It didn't go brilliantly.
The questionnaires I had filled out that morning and submitted online hadn't got through to the therapist who called, for some reason, so she had to ask me all those questions again. She also assumed when I said partner I was referring to a man and kept saying 'husband' until I told her 'it's my wife, actually.' I don't get wildly annoyed or offended when that happens...it happens all the time that people assume I'm married to a man. But it just felt a bit rubbish in this context....first assessment call with a psychological service and they're making assumptions about sexuality/my relationship. She hurriedly apologised then said 'I'm sure you said husband...' Well, no, I didn't. Because I wouldn't. Because I have a wife! Anyway...
She then really threw me by referring to a traumatic experience I had with a doctor when I was a kid. No idea how she knows that. A GP made a note on my file about it after I accidentally blurted it out to him...I then asked my current GP to put a note on that note saying not to talk to me about it unless I bring it up because the GP I told then saw that note and mentioned it every single time I went to see him about anything. So...there's something about it on my file...exactly what I don't know...along with a later note to say don't bring it up. So, for the therapist on the call to know about it and mention it to me a couple of weeks ago...she must either have been able to see that note in my medical record or my GP must have included this information in her referral letter.
Either way, I am upset and angry about it. It is deeply personal, non-essential, non-medical information so the fact that it has somehow been shared without my knowledge or permission feels wrong to me.
Having a total stranger phone and mention it and call it sexual abuse when it is still a thing I struggle with was distressing and unhelpful. I am angry with my GP - which is a pity because I actually like her and have started to trust her. I'll probably have to mention it to her at some point. I feel like maybe I should ask to see what note is on my medical record about it. And, if it transpires that any service I get referred to can just see that record, I guess I will ask for it to be deleted seeing as no one ever asked if that could be made a note of in the first place. If my GP actually wrote about it in her referral letter, I'm going to be livid because, as I said, I really think that was non-essential info to share without permission.
Anyway...having spent a rather stressful 30 mins on the phone answering dozens of questions, I then managed to get a chance to say some more about what's going on and my needs etc. I said that I was actually interested in a referral to the trauma service and that's why my GP had referred me. She said the talking therapies and the trauma service are actually essentially the same. Er....then why have you got two different services?! (I didn't say that!) She said that, because the trauma service was inundated, they had taken on more therapists with ptsd training into their general talking therapies service - so I could do their 1:1 CBT sessions with someone and she could put a note to say it would be good if it had a trauma focus on it. And that would be a 10 week waiting list (though the email she sent later said 20 weeks)
I don't really want 1:1 CBT. And I'm not convinced that 'they have some PTSD training' really means they have real expertise? But I sort of just said ok because that was all that seemed to be on offer.
I asked about the group things they run. She said they didn't run any groups - it's all just 1:1 CBT. I said the trauma centre runs groups. She said she didn't think they did. I said they told me the week before that they do and that I could potentially join them.
So...yeah...the two services are just the same...not!
She has since phoned back and left a voicemail telling me she's spoken to the trauma service and it's a year waiting list to get an assessment with them and a year wait for treatment. So, I'm not sure if she's saying that's actually a two year wait in total until you get to actually properly get started with anything?!
She also said the trauma centre does run group stuff - educational groups and group therapy (I know - I told you!) But that I wouldn't be allowed to do their groups alongside the other 1:1 CBT through the general service.
So, I now need to make a decision - do I stay on the list for the normal CBT or do I swap to the longer waiting list with the trauma centre?
I really don't think the normal CBT will be useful. But a year (or two!) feels ages to wait. And I still don't really know what that service will be like when I get there anyway.
To be honest, I feel over it now. Wish I hadn't bothered! I just feel more stressed about it and now have decisions to make that I don't really want to engage with at this point.
@digger - hope you have a better experience with your assessment next month!