Tips for being at home on sick leave/ disability?

[Deleted member 47099]

After working full-time away from home for the last 4 years and working part-time from home before that, I'm now on sick leave for an extended period of time.

I'm finding that being at home on sick leave/ disability has its own specific challenges.

Like not sleeping in too late in the mornings and wrecking sleep patterns. Like finding a good balance between tasks and rest each day. Like finding a sense of achievement and self-esteem when the day is mainly spent doing things like housework. Like having a routine and a healthy level of self-discipline. Like not getting stuck in a rut and not getting depressed.

I'm wondering what aspects of being at home others find particularly challenging and how they best deal with them?

I think it's quite a tricky thing to do well... It sounds so "easy" to be at home full-time, but it's quite challenging in its own way.

 

[Chris-duck]

Heh I wish I could give you ideas of what I do when I'm at home to stay sane, but I last approx the length of time I'm asleep before losing my mind, n if I'm off for longer I uh.. visit the farm :laugh:

I think there's still ways to find a sense of accomplishment n ways to set your own routine. Like you have shit that needs done each day (no. Not just paperwork ?) n you have things you've always wanted to do with farm that you've just not got round to.

Then there's shit you just want, you wanna read more, you like writing, you like loads of shit that you've just not done cos you've been working/trying to reregulate after work etc.

So basically.. f*cked if I know what id do. But this is a chance to do the shit you've wanted to do since I've known you n not been able to cos of work n work related dysregulation.

So eh start with a regular time to wake up each day n go from there ?

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Yeah :)

I think I'm also being impatient.... (who, me? :whistling: )

I'm still in the first shock-and-recovery phase... Still sleeping and resting a lot, still trying to get my bearings, still confused, still trying to make new plans.

And I'm getting impatient with myself, why I don't have a functioning, productive routine yet.

Eh yah, cos I'm still in phase one. Gotta get that phase done first, and then move on to the next one.

I gotta find me some patience :shifty:

 

[Freida]

I worked my butt off the first couple months. Cleaned everything -twice-reorganized closets and cupboards, redid the garden, got involved in a veteran support group, took a class, whatever I could thing of to keep my brain busy. Eventually I ran out of steam so I started letting myself watch a movie or play a video game (oh the judgement!!!!), sleep when I wanted to, eat whenever, goof off. It was hard because I had never been off work for more than a couple of weeks and my routine was everything.

It took a while (6 months or so) before I found a routine that reflected my life today instead of my life before. So ya. Patience! :hug;

 

[lostforgottensoul]

The first time I took vacation, I went on a downward sprial. I still call it the vacation of hell. I can't not work. Working is the biggest distraction for me that keeps me from sprialing into a depressive hole and thinking about the past constantly.

When I recently had surgery to have my thyroid removed and was out for almost a full month, it wasn't like the week of hell that the vacation was. I think its because my mind was distracted with things. Trying to do voice exercises. Going to several new doctors. I wasn't just at home, doing nothing. I was at home focused on something.

So, I guess the take away from that is to maybe make some goals of things you want to get done. Other things you can focus on. If there's an illness involved, make small goals there. Just plan out things to do and focus on that will distract your mind and keep it from sprialing downward.

That's my take away from the vacation of hell anyway.

 

[Friday]

PASSION & PURPOSE!!!

If I could paint a neon sign around that, and add dancing girls, and a ticker tape parade? I would. Passion & Purpose. Truly.

Failing that? Things to do. Mental, physical (ideally both gross & fine motor, but if I’m all broken to bits and confined to a bed/chair, umpteen gazillion fine motor), emotional, social, chores, fun... I have no interior sense of structure, so I have to create it, externally. Or I very easily become completely unbalanced, in every meaning of the word.

 

[Ronin]

Challenging, we'd be here tomorrow.

Helpful? Do the thing anyway ;)
Same routines as when working, while not working,
Things helping work even on days off,
New skills & interests & training in the similar path even with changed ability,
Educating self & others just to keep the work-able part of brain functional and reflexes not f*cking off as awareness,
Spacing out in useful ways / that help process without trying for it (reading and getting lost IN the plot instead of losing THE plot, looking atcha)
SickPeople Challenges (and poking fun at unwell. Instead of yet letting all the ugly places wreck havoc)
Not rushing it (if I have a year off before even *thinking* of any work? Not worrying about it *right now*)

Eek. There's prolly more. Just bit brain fried & topic's like always too close.

But yep: Can't go on a journey?
Bring the journey to you :sneaky: (Romani proverb).

 

[DharmaGirl]

What do you like? Make a list of things you know you like, then try adding things you would like to learn to see if you like them. Make a plan every morning of what you would like to do. That's how I regulate. Otherwise I tend to drift all day.

 

[Changing4Best]

I am still sleeping a lot. This is a month after major surgery and now with two ear infections and an allergic reaction to the first antibiotics they put me on. I am still feeling the reactions, so it's hard. I am not feeling guilty for sleeping a lot though. Sleep is when the body repairs itself, and I am feeling a little better every day.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

I'm a *bit* more settled into a routine now... I've chosen 7 am as my wake up time (tho it's not necessarily my get up out of bed time).

And chosen to do a 25 min yoga video each morning which focusses on neck and shoulders (which have been giving me trouble in recent months).

I'm still caught in a huge push-pull dynamic (must/ should do work tasks vs. want to rest and sleep).

I guess a push-pull dynamic like that is going to be a bit messy, no matter how "well" you try and adress it.

I guess as long as I'm getting some of the things I need to do each day done, and getting some rest and recovery each day, I'm doing okay.

I'm finding I need to remind myself daily that staying at home isn't "easy" and that it's especially not easy if it's during a time of personal crisis/ not something you've chosen to do for positive reasons.

It's so easy to fall into the mental trap of "this should be easy" and doing negative self-talk of "why are you failing at something this easy?"

I have done one "positive" thing so far, that has cheered me up - I have painted a "feature wall" in my bed room safran orange... the orange of a Buddhist monk's robes. It looks cheerful and fun and vibrant and I've bought some more paint to do other walls in my part of the farmhouse, as soon as I find the spare time and energy.

I've also found a long-term art project to work on whenever I want/ find the time/ daily if possible. It's proving to be a really good emotional outlet and a way of grounding and of connecting to myself. I'm also grateful that it removes me from the profane "daily chores monotony" aspect of being at home.

 

[Mee]

Patience !

I hare my trauma sleeping pattern and am constantly fighting it. I have considered embracing it but it really doesn’t work for me - so I am just patient with myself.


If you want gentle guidance for routine stuff like housework I used to follow flylady routines. Just someone giving me options for how much energy I had on the day but managing the rota of household jobs for me.

 

[Mach123]

I've been thinking about this since I first saw it. My advice is self soothe. I can give you some examples but what soothes me probably will be different for others.

First it took years to figure out I was doing it. I had really horrible anxiety. I drank in the evening to cope I had to have that to look forward to.

Then I.Started exercise again then running then the gym because of being triggered by dogs. Then the gym, exersized by brains out. Then diet, lost 50 lbs. That was about 7 years worth. I remember when the gym was the only thing that gave me a break from anxiety it was awful. I worked on and off and I kept working with my handicapped daughters full time . Then we did some work on that fiNally. On them and their programs and the state. Now we are at about 10 years or up to today. Housework and cooking for 4 people is a full time gig. I do my best. Not to mention being married and having to deal with her working outside the home.

You become your own boss. Life is work no matter what. Sometimes I do well and sometimes not so well. Some kind of medicine. I always have to be on some kind of medicine that's how it is for me and I've always been like that. Something to take the edge off the anxiety.