I feel like I hit a wall

[Eternitygrey]

I feel so free but everything is crumbling around me. Do I stay on my meds ? Do I leave ? Do I run away again ?
All of these thoughts just run through my head. Ive realized that biking and feeling the grass benith my feet really helps me cope with being in reality. I'm starting to realize that I have control but how do I keep it ? How do I teach my mind to love me again. I feel like I'm trying so hard but no one can tell ...or at least the one person I want to see me trying thinks I'm weak and pathetic...he even said so..but I won't let another person rip me apart . I won't let anyone have control over my mind but me . .... sorry it helps to type positive things...I have a hard time loving my anger , my pain, my body ...I need to love myself,..I need to forgive myself first.

I am a leader, a fighter, I am a good person even if I mess up .

I am proud of myself .. thank you for letting me vent

 

[blackemerald1]

Do I stay on my meds ? Do I leave ? Do I run away again ?

All important decisions. And all need proper time, thinking & reasoning. I'd be thinking don't do them all at once?

 

[Eternitygrey]

All important decisions. And all need proper time, thinking & reasoning. I'd be thinking don't do them all at once?

Good advice ? I'm starting with the doctors and tharpy first ?

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

Eternitygrey, if you don't mind me asking, which psychiatric medication(s) are you currently on?

 

[Eternitygrey]

no i dont ...I was on Zoloft and gabapentin and seralitine for almost a year and then just got switched to abilify and kalonipin and staying with seralitine for sleep.