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How to use triggers as a means to recovery?

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To answer this question, lets first define a psychological trigger.

A trigger is an activated traumatic memory due to your present environment via one or more of your five senses, sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. A trigger will result in a symptomatic or behavioral response.

To fully understand the difference between trigger and stressor, please read Stressor vs. Trigger (recommended reading).

Many sufferers and supporters view triggers negatively, as they provoke a negative action, so avoidance is often the solution--a natural human response. When you look closer at that natural response, what you're doing is instinctively creating a negative from a negative. It is far from healthy to avoid things that are not dangerous but which merely make us uncomfortable, psychologically or physically. Before you know it you're a recluse, avoiding people, places and life itself.

If this is you, no doubt life has gotten progressively worse; avoidance and hiding away is not living life, and most likely perpetuating depressive moods.

The answer is simpler than you think. It's called desensitization and is done via "in vivo exposure" technique. This phrase a fancy expression for "doing," literally exposing yourself to a trigger to desensitize your response from alarm to realism. Don't confuse this with realistically unsafe or dangerous situations. Another method, called "Imaginary Exposure," tackles actual unsafe situations by imagination only.

Any and every trigger you overcome reduces your symptomatic susceptibility. Put simply, you recover with every trigger you remove from your life.

Will you overcome every trigger? Not necessarily. Some may, some may not--yet every PTSD sufferer can reduce their triggers from many, to few, thus improving your overall quality of life.

Recovering triggers is an empowering process. The first trigger you tackle may be daunting, may make you extremely symptomatic with prolonged symptoms, yet as you knock away each barrier, you learn your strengths, your ability to fight fear and prove to yourself that you can overcome. This empowerment will help within other areas of your recovery.

Tackling triggers is a process that can be used prior to trauma therapy itself, building self-esteem and confidence to enter trauma therapy with significant self-skills, motivation and experience of a can-do attitude. PTSD's entire foundation is built upon fear, and demonstrating to yourself you can beat fear prior to trauma therapy is a win-win for you.

The Process​

  1. Compile a list of your triggers. What specifically triggers you?
  2. Categorize your triggers as realistic or unrealistic. You may want outside opinions on this.
  3. Devise a simple plan for exposure, starting gradually, building up to extreme.
  4. Review your cognitive biases based on your immediate thoughts and reactions to the trigger, and have counter-statements prepared to confirm the unrealistic aspect of the trigger.
  5. Put your plan into action, using your cognitive counter statements to confirm the unrealistic response to the trigger.
  6. Constantly review, measure, adjust and continue until you have desensitized yourself to the trigger and cognitively realigned your mental association from negative to neutral or positive.
Anything positive you obtain in healing trauma or learning to manage PTSD often transposes into other areas of healing and management, progressively making recovery faster and easier.

Do you do something different? If so, tell us how you've used your triggers to help your recovery.
 
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I know that this is an old post, but @Changing4Best I hope that it worked out for you. I kept jumping into the fire going out with new people until I ran into a woman that insisted on being whole before getting into a relationship. I took her advice to heart. I'm going to lick my wounds and try to repair myself before jumping in again. I have a severe deficiency; I am so driven to satisfy my partners needs that I have no concept of what my needs are. The last two women, when in bed with them, would ask me what I needed and I froze, I couldn't think of anything. I'm imagining that 99% of people would have been able to communicate what was going wrong, but because it was my one partners behavior (like completely disconnecting, during intercourse, with me as if they were being sexually assaulted, in reaction to which, I would go limp and they would pull away and rage on me for being impotent). I knew the answer months after the relationship was over. I needed them to stay present with me and show me that they were in love with me and making sounds or expressions that demonstrated their pleasure. But, at the time I had no clue what my needs were.
I really hope that you found happiness. I'm afraid that by the time I get this all figured out I'm going to be hobbling around with a cane and drooling... :):):)
I want to apologize, I'm new here and I responded with something unrelated to the original post. It doesn't have to do with triggers or stressors. I suppose it's dissociating or something? I also didn't mean the three smilies... I'll figure this out...
 
I know that this is an old post, but @Changing4Best I hope that it worked out for you. I kept jumping into the fire going out with new people until I ran into a woman that insisted on being whole before getting into a relationship. I took her advice to heart. I'm going to lick my wounds and try to repair myself before jumping in again. I have a severe deficiency; I am so driven to satisfy my partners needs that I have no concept of what my needs are. The last two women, when in bed with them, would ask me what I needed and I froze, I couldn't think of anything. I'm imagining that 99% of people would have been able to communicate what was going wrong, but because it was my one partners behavior (like completely disconnecting, during intercourse, with me as if they were being sexually assaulted, in reaction to which, I would go limp and they would pull away and rage on me for being impotent). I knew the answer months after the relationship was over. I needed them to stay present with me and show me that they were in love with me and making sounds or expressions that demonstrated their pleasure. But, at the time I had no clue what my needs were.
I really hope that you found happiness. I'm afraid that by the time I get this all figured out I'm going to be hobbling around with a cane and drooling... :):):)
Aw! Start off as friend first so that you can see what you are getting - minimum of 6 months. If someone can’t be your friend w/o sex For 6 months then it is a deal breaker Clearly their motives aren’t pure. Many people seem like they are together when they are not and the last thing I need is more trouble. My sheets aren’t hot a lot (lol) but I also don’t have to beat myself up for years after saying “how did I miss that”?
 
Aw! Start off as friend first so that you can see what you are getting - minimum of 6 months. If someone can’t be your friend w/o sex For 6 months then it is a deal breaker Clearly their motives aren’t pure. Many people seem like they are together when they are not and the last thing I need is more trouble. My sheets aren’t hot a lot (lol) but I also don’t have to beat myself up for years after saying “how did I miss that”?
Thank you so much @Widow_of_one . I hear you. It's an internal battle. I want the human physical connection so badly that it hurts. But, I know that your words are true ?
 
Thank you so much @Widow_of_one . I hear you. It's an internal battle. I want the human physical connection so badly that it hurts. But, I know that your words are true ?
But being physics doesn’t have to mean sex! Holding hands, hugging, sleeping in the same bed, all are nice and steps towards a closer authentic relationship that lasts forever!!
 
Thank you so much @Widow_of_one . I hear you. It's an internal battle. I want the human physical connection so badly that it hurts. But, I know that your words are true ?

Also, ask yourself this question: would I stay with this person for 6 months w/o sex? If the answer is no then you aren’t being honest with yourself. I ask myself: “now if I had to pay for dinner tonight would I go?” If the answer is no then I have my answer he isn’t for me.
 
But being physics doesn’t have to mean sex! Holding hands, hugging, sleeping in the same bed, all are nice and steps towards a closer authentic relationship that lasts forever!!
Thank you for your kind words @Widow_of_one, I know what you're saying. But, when I want to do the things you suggested, they want more. I know that I need to assert myself. I know that. But, I'm a pleaser co-dependent and it's not that easy for me.
 
Also, ask yourself this question: would I stay with this person for 6 months w/o sex? If the answer is no then you aren’t being honest with yourself. I ask myself: “now if I had to pay for dinner tonight would I go?” If the answer is no then I have my answer he isn’t for me.
I understand what you're saying. I know that the truth is that I need to control my severe need for attachment. I need to continuously comfort my inner-child and assure them that we're fine on our own. That way when I find someone, I will not be the one pushing the relationship forward. My inner-child being fine with being alone is what will give me the strength to just hold hands and be content with a slow process. I know it. But, even when I pass the most abusive partner I've had driving to the store my heart goes through the roof and I would do anything to be with her. I know it's a process. Blessings to you. :-)
 
See red flags are everywhere. As adults of course we are tempted. I have come to realize that because I am disassociated I don’t have much pleasure in my life so when I would meet a nice person who likes me and I liked him I would go overboard! Most times it was an illusion that we were compatible and the couple of times it wasn’t this intensity lead to us breaking up because other responsibilities were ignored!!
 
See red flags are everywhere. As adults of course we are tempted. I have come to realize that because I am disassociated I don’t have much pleasure in my life so when I would meet a nice person who likes me and I liked him I would go overboard! Most times it was an illusion that we were compatible and the couple of times it wasn’t this intensity lead to us breaking up because other responsibilities were ignored!!
Your words really resonate! I have made large strides towards not going too fast, but as you've read, it's not easy for me. I create this imaginary perfect match and my intensity would push them away. I've realized that it's my emotionally starved for human contact ( hand holding, snuggling, hugging as you said earlier) inner-child that is demanding it. As you said, the balance is hard. But, I'm sort of retired now and the lack of companionship is just exacerbating the loneliness. But, I am reading trauma help books voraciously... praying for an answer... :-)
 
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