The Iceberg Of Emotions

[anthony]

Anger is an action, which is made up of many other emotions. When you understand the emotions that trigger anger, you can help yourself to control those smaller emotions, which in turn controls your anger. There is no miracle cure for anger control – only your self control and understanding of the situations.

The below image “iceberg” gives some very positive examples of what makes up anger.

I have wanted to add this for some time now, and finally had some time to quickly draw this up to present. The following image outlines a little further than the basic iceberg, showing how we have our emotional responses, yet between our emotions is a cause to neglect our true emotions. This list is an example, by no means definitive. You could spend days coming up with reasons and emotions that block us all uniquely, though you must adapt this to yourself.

If you do these things, you can find your method to help yourself overcome your anger. If you don’t understand your anger, then how can you fix it? You can’t, hence why I am outlining this a little further.

Three main components to self analysis:

Your current emotional response
What is blocking your true emotions
Your actual true emotions felt
Now #3 you’re not going to know likely just yet, though the idea is to work from the top down, thus you will understand why you are failing to show, feel or talk about your true emotions.

Emotional Responses

These are typically anger, rage, frustration, violence, etc. If you “respond” then it is an emotional response. You do not respond if you feel guilty. Guilt would be the emotion, anger or avoidance could be the emotional response.

The Gap or Void Between Emotion – Emotional Response

This is typically social pressures, fear of being portrayed as weak if you cry, what others may think off you, male pride, prejudice, and the list goes on.

Emotions

To fix something you must first understand it. If you fail to understand the problem, then how the hell could one fix it? I hope this for all concerned to understand their problem uniquely.

 

[Grama-Herc]

This has been very helpful, BUT! Could you make this last drawing/image bigger. It needs to either be larger or have the ability to click on so it can be seen. Thanks

 

[anthony]

You can click on it... and it will enlarge by doing so!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Thank you so much for posting this article. I have just started to deal with anger after many years of being numb. This article explains so much!

 

[cragger65]

Very enlightening... what begain for me as life-long guilt and insecurity, errupted into rage. Then, I was so humiliated and ashamed (and guilt rears it's ugly head, big time) I stuffed it all back down. I'm beginning to hone in on my basic sense of insecurity. BIG work in progress.

 

[Lucycat]

I found this very enlightening, having recently realised that I don't feel anger. I see the block now and can understand the numbing that is preventing me from having an appropriate emotional response.

 

[Ferretdancer]

Anger is an emotion, not an action. We may or may not react to this emotion.

 

[anthony]

Anger absolutely is an emotional action, as it cannot be felt without an underlying emotion. Action is a defined term, when linked with an emotion itself, it is technically called an emotional response, being something that overlays an under-pinning emotion. You cannot have anger by itself, it doesn't exist unless in conjunction with another emotion. There are very clear and distinctive separators with emotions and emotional responses. A response is an action, by definition (reaction). The only way to debate this otherwise, would be to change the definition off "response".

 

[anni]

If one wishes to cooerlate the pyramid with those of us who have a terrible time having any anger expression or even the ability to feel much, a revisit to the whole 'Hierchy of needs' from one's long ago soc or anthro class is helpful. It was for me, in my foggy state and advance age. :) It just made me see how the whole thing 'broke down' and made all clear. That's what I'd assumed at the time I'd read the article originally, in the end, since I'd also had a BIG question about 'well, what if I don't HAVE any anger?'.

Very nice synopsis, Anthony, thank you.

 

[RealityCheck]

This is a great visual to see how issues build up - all based on a foundation of unaddressed emotions, which in turn triggers a failure (inability) to communicate perfectly natural feelings. This is actually really great, I can see that I trained myself to suppress frustration, disgust, fear, repulsion and built mySELF a foundation for an identity that's now reached it's peak. Over time I've reinforced a mechanism that now seems 'natural', even though it's really a forced behaviour that's been automated.... behaviour that's been wired, reinforced, wired, reinforced, wired..... all solidifying the suppressed emotions of frustration, disgust, fear etc. A vicious, vicious circle getting more powerful with every turn digging deeper, doing same, same result, digging.... a hole.

Yes, this is a great visual that prompts a lot of questions and answers, thanks Anthony.

 

[LeoTheLion]

I often do not aware what could be behind the Anger feeling. Until I see the iceberg ohh there is other feelings behind that could trigger the anger. Anger just the top. I felt the same with RealityCheck that I been so suppress my feelings especially Anger ones. I only can express basically words like frustration, fear and other few ones but not much.

 

[Blutarg]

You've done this in such an easy format to understand, thank you.