Hi Toren!
It doesn't surprise me at all that you worked in mental health. It doesn't mean that you are by nature a fraud. Did you help people in your career? I mean, it sounds like a long career. That's what counts.
I know the thing I can relate to is that of your narcissistic close relationships.
My brother went covertly insane and started attacking my character in my 30's and little by little did successfully convince my siblings to turn their backs on me. I am utterly alone and have no family at this point, except for my mom who I brought to live with me after transient brain bleeds. Glad I have her, but its not at all normal to be 40 years and for me to know I start shaking if a man wants to date me.
Narcissistic relationships with someone who is supposed to be a strength .& support (you said mom & ex) but who turn out to be the very opposite - that alone is enough to do serious mental damage. Deny your reality. Make you confused or feel like you don't know yourself.
I'm sorry that you went through that.
Do you feel ashamed that you had symptoms and hid them?
At work?
Maybe work was your safe. Place and you needed it to stay controlled? Either way, it's not all black and white in life. We need to work and pay bills just like everyone else. Even therapists are human and even your ex-coworkers.
Maybe let us know your thoughts. You and I are in the narcissism net... It is not something we asked for. We (I) am here to find compassion and a safe place and learn as well.
It can be hard to see some things and triggering. But mostly the talks are encouraging - even when I come on and say really whacky things in adrenal brain.
Look forward to hear how your doing.
It doesn't surprise me at all that you worked in mental health. It doesn't mean that you are by nature a fraud. Did you help people in your career? I mean, it sounds like a long career. That's what counts.
I know the thing I can relate to is that of your narcissistic close relationships.
My brother went covertly insane and started attacking my character in my 30's and little by little did successfully convince my siblings to turn their backs on me. I am utterly alone and have no family at this point, except for my mom who I brought to live with me after transient brain bleeds. Glad I have her, but its not at all normal to be 40 years and for me to know I start shaking if a man wants to date me.
Narcissistic relationships with someone who is supposed to be a strength .& support (you said mom & ex) but who turn out to be the very opposite - that alone is enough to do serious mental damage. Deny your reality. Make you confused or feel like you don't know yourself.
I'm sorry that you went through that.
Do you feel ashamed that you had symptoms and hid them?
At work?
Maybe work was your safe. Place and you needed it to stay controlled? Either way, it's not all black and white in life. We need to work and pay bills just like everyone else. Even therapists are human and even your ex-coworkers.
Maybe let us know your thoughts. You and I are in the narcissism net... It is not something we asked for. We (I) am here to find compassion and a safe place and learn as well.
It can be hard to see some things and triggering. But mostly the talks are encouraging - even when I come on and say really whacky things in adrenal brain.
Look forward to hear how your doing.