Memory issues.

[arfie]

Too scared to relive it and talk about it out loud

gentle empathy on that score. i started psychotherapy with full trauma induced amnesia. it took me more than a decade to figure out why everybody kept saying, "amnesia" like it was a bad thing. i had blocked memory of my entire childhood, but i had plenty of evidence to believe it was worth forgetting. i saw those memory blocks as a tabla rasa. a clean slate on which to write a brand new beginning.

it wasn't until the cumulative memory damage from preserving those memory blocks caught up with me that i decided blackouts and premature dementia were scarier than remembering my life as a child prostitute. the lesser poison?

 

[Mee]

Like most - I live with this. I’m going to share a couple of coping mechanisms if that’s ok? Feel free to ignore them- but it might help.

A reporters notepad. It’s small enough to carry easily but large enough to be easy to write a useful amount in.

Daily to do lists -notes while you are on a phone call or in an appointment, or you can even leave it out for your mother to write her requests in.


If you think the other stuff you write in it you don’t want seen by others then my other very favourite aide memoire is a chalk board . ( well actually I have several ). I have one for things we run out of in the kitchen/ house so I can put it on the shopping list- one in the bedroom for things I need to do re self care/ achievements.

I have one in our farm feed room for things me and my friend discuss so ‘we both’ ( me, it’s a polite way she indulges me) remember feed plans for the animals and any medication and upcoming appointments with vets/farrier/etc


Calendar.
I have a shared calendar on my phone with my husband that also can include some others on some details. E..g only DH and I need to know my therapy appointments really ( though friend actually does and remembers) but if friend or we are away or taking an evening off animals we can share it in the calendar and lab for the other to pick up the slack . If I don’t see the calendar alert I forget, and if it’s in my calendar I cannot double book.

Routine - This is so very boring, and if like me , you have other health issues, impossible to do religiously. But I have a few anchor points. At two particular times in the day every animal on the property gets fed and water checked ( some get fed more, but there are two occasions where everyone eats). Those times are routine and I usually feed the dogs at those times and often the cats. That’s an anchor . I use that time to check the calendar ( which also has audio alerts on it) and my lists). I have dog walk and training . I have a ‘routine/ritual’ my T had me begin at bedtime. The last I have only fails to do a very few times in the last few years and if I do it’s a time to stop, take stock and address what ever is going adrift.

Weekly I have other anchors,


These routines help life run smoothly and some things don’t need always to be ‘as hard work’ to be remembered because they become habit.


I’m often awed by the ability of others here to retain stuff and they inspire me because one day I might too :)

 

[Freddyt]

Not just Trauma memories - everything around it. I can't remember half the people I worked with a couple years ago when my second trauma happened. Gone, disappeared.
Same for the original trauma except PTSD has had more time with that an I have precious few memories of my childhood and teenage years.

The rest is just like MEE said. You need to get organized to keep on track. First time in my life I have a calendar. I have to. Those anchors MEE talked about. Breakfast is one for me. Make different stuff. It's first thing and I feel better having actually done something. It tells me if I'm doing ok that day - or not. If not, start figuring out whats bugging me.

As for the rest working memory is the tough one to deal with when its bad. Stress, reprocessing, anxiety, as they get higher my working memory gets worse. That is tough to deal with but learn to laugh at your self. It hurts way less than punching things and being angry. My T gave me a hack to reset working memory. The method is to overload it and it "resets". It's crazy and it works. Please ask your T as they can give you something that's right for you.

 

[unicornprincess37xx]

Could this be a component (dissociative amnesia) why I keep getting involved with toxic people? If I sense they're toxic, I black out / forget and don't see it? I had numerous abusers from birth to 12 years old, but 40 years later, I still get fooled by unhealthy individuals.
I do realize that I'm easy to lure in by perpetrators because all they have to do is be nice to me and my desperate needs for positive attention do the rest. But I've always wondered why I don't seem to learn not to trust people so easily.

Oh my days vickster this used to be so me! If a guy was nice to me I would do everything to be with them. I wouldn't be able to see their ulterior motives. They would promise me everything,have their wicked way then throw me to the side. I kept going back again and again. I was so gullible and fooled by false promises of love and happy ever afters xx

Like most - I live with this. I’m going to share a couple of coping mechanisms if that’s ok? Feel free to ignore them- but it might help.

A reporters notepad. It’s small enough to carry easily but large enough to be easy to write a useful amount in.

Daily to do lists -notes while you are on a phone call or in an appointment, or you can even leave it out for your mother to write her requests in.


If you think the other stuff you write in it you don’t want seen by others then my other very favourite aide memoire is a chalk board . ( well actually I have several ). I have one for things we run out of in the kitchen/ house so I can put it on the shopping list- one in the bedroom for things I need to do re self care/ achievements.

I have one in our farm feed room for things me and my friend discuss so ‘we both’ ( me, it’s a polite way she indulges me) remember feed plans for the animals and any medication and upcoming appointments with vets/farrier/etc


Calendar.
I have a shared calendar on my phone with my husband that also can include some others on some details. E..g only DH and I need to know my therapy appointments really ( though friend actually does and remembers) but if friend or we are away or taking an evening off animals we can share it in the calendar and lab for the other to pick up the slack . If I don’t see the calendar alert I forget, and if it’s in my calendar I cannot double book.

Routine - This is so very boring, and if like me , you have other health issues, impossible to do religiously. But I have a few anchor points. At two particular times in the day every animal on the property gets fed and water checked ( some get fed more, but there are two occasions where everyone eats). Those times are routine and I usually feed the dogs at those times and often the cats. That’s an anchor . I use that time to check the calendar ( which also has audio alerts on it) and my lists). I have dog walk and training . I have a ‘routine/ritual’ my T had me begin at bedtime. The last I have only fails to do a very few times in the last few years and if I do it’s a time to stop, take stock and address what ever is going adrift.

Weekly I have other anchors,


These routines help life run smoothly and some things don’t need always to be ‘as hard work’ to be remembered because they become habit.


I’m often awed by the ability of others here to retain stuff and they inspire me because one day I might too :)

Hi mee. A notebook is a great idea and I will get my mum to write the stuff in it. It will be just me and her as my dad doesn't fully understand whats going on. As for routines omg I need them in my life lol. I get so stressed if things put it out. I know when lunch is,when to feed the cat,what time mum goes to work,when to cook dinner and even when to charge my vape. Weekends are a bit tricky as everyone is off work but I know Saturday mornings are big shop day. I don't know what I would do without my routines xx

Not just Trauma memories - everything around it. I can't remember half the people I worked with a couple years ago when my second trauma happened. Gone, disappeared.
Same for the original trauma except PTSD has had more time with that an I have precious few memories of my childhood and teenage years.

The rest is just like MEE said. You need to get organized to keep on track. First time in my life I have a calendar. I have to. Those anchors MEE talked about. Breakfast is one for me. Make different stuff. It's first thing and I feel better having actually done something. It tells me if I'm doing ok that day - or not. If not, start figuring out whats bugging me.

As for the rest working memory is the tough one to deal with when its bad. Stress, reprocessing, anxiety, as they get higher my working memory gets worse. That is tough to deal with but learn to laugh at your self. It hurts way less than punching things and being angry. My T gave me a hack to reset working memory. The method is to overload it and it "resets". It's crazy and it works. Please ask your T as they can give you something that's right for you.

When I was diagnosed at 12 my therapist told me something I remember to this day. Life is like a train journey. On this journey you will meet many people. You have your ticket and they have theirs. Along the way you will get to know these people very well but their destination will soon come along. They will get off the train and you will never see them again. But you will carry on towards your destination.
My 12 year old self thought this was utter pig swill but it must of made an impression is I remember it at 37 xx