M
Michael023
Hii,
I don’t know what the trauma was. I remember having what i called “habits” when i was younger(maybe 6yrs-10yrs old) and I’m 99% sure was ocd. It kind of faded away or got less noticeable. I also had a horrible nightmare? But now I’m thinking it was a flashback, it happened maybe when i was 10 and maybe that’s when i started dissociating and maybe that’s why the ocd is less prevalent now.
Recently I’m realizing I have been dissociating because i feel like i don’t know who i am, and things don’t really affect me and i have no desire to talk to people because i don’t know who i am or what i would even want to talk about in the first place.
I’m 20 yrs old, 2 months ago i think i had my 1st or 2nd flashback, and a couple nights ago had another one. My whole body was tingly/numb and so were my face and hands. I was instantly crying and felt like Niagara Falls of emotions on top of me. It also felt like i was in a whole different dimension or world but at the same time there was a small piece of me still aware that i was still here in my bedroom.
Not exactly sure what i was feeling but i do know that i felt very real and like i found a piece of myself that’s been missing for years. And i think that piece of me contains the trauma so that’s why maybe my brain eventually learned to disconnect form that part of myself.
I didn't really see a picture or anything during the flashbacks, but there were familiar smells that seemed very very real. And I’ve noticed those smells sometimes for the past 6 months when i became more aware of my dissociation.
Is it possible something happened when i was young(before the ocd started) and have been dissociating since then because of the fear from triggers and flashbacks happening again?
I want to wait until i have a better idea of what’s happening in these flashbacks before i talk to someone.
I don’t know what the trauma was. I remember having what i called “habits” when i was younger(maybe 6yrs-10yrs old) and I’m 99% sure was ocd. It kind of faded away or got less noticeable. I also had a horrible nightmare? But now I’m thinking it was a flashback, it happened maybe when i was 10 and maybe that’s when i started dissociating and maybe that’s why the ocd is less prevalent now.
Recently I’m realizing I have been dissociating because i feel like i don’t know who i am, and things don’t really affect me and i have no desire to talk to people because i don’t know who i am or what i would even want to talk about in the first place.
I’m 20 yrs old, 2 months ago i think i had my 1st or 2nd flashback, and a couple nights ago had another one. My whole body was tingly/numb and so were my face and hands. I was instantly crying and felt like Niagara Falls of emotions on top of me. It also felt like i was in a whole different dimension or world but at the same time there was a small piece of me still aware that i was still here in my bedroom.
Not exactly sure what i was feeling but i do know that i felt very real and like i found a piece of myself that’s been missing for years. And i think that piece of me contains the trauma so that’s why maybe my brain eventually learned to disconnect form that part of myself.
I didn't really see a picture or anything during the flashbacks, but there were familiar smells that seemed very very real. And I’ve noticed those smells sometimes for the past 6 months when i became more aware of my dissociation.
Is it possible something happened when i was young(before the ocd started) and have been dissociating since then because of the fear from triggers and flashbacks happening again?
I want to wait until i have a better idea of what’s happening in these flashbacks before i talk to someone.