It just dawned on me (after 40 hours straight of studying autism), that I’m autistic. Not even a «mild case», but a full on autist with an IQ of +/-180, who masks so well I pass as social and normal.
HOW the heck did I not know that before I was in my late 40ies??? I guess because I never looked in that direction, why would I?
But how on earth did the therapist not notice after years of trauma treatment, where I blatantly described my traits in detail??
I don’t get it! My GP thinks I’m bipolar since I have so weird symptoms and don’t make eye contact (he thinks i’m lying), my neurologist thinks I have cronic fatigue and migraines, since my brain is always so foggy, my dietician thinks I have an eating disorder of kinds, since I have non-logical food sensitivities, my mother told me she thought I was a psychopath as a kid, since my face never showed emotions, my therapist thinks I have childhood trauma since I don’t process emotions well, and since I «with my IQ isn’t already the President). And all along, I told them they were all wrong, and that they don’t treat my symptoms seriously. I got called hypochondriac by the doctor scanning my brain…
My therapist even has told me to try and not answer her questions «like an autist».
My friend is autistic and told me I am too, as she «cannot talk with non-autistic people», so I finally tried to learn what autism is. MY GOD!
Autism in women with high IQ:
Difficulty processing emotions,
difficulty with eye contact,
prone to food sensitivities
brain fog
successful masking (to the point of not showing symptoms as adults)
prone to ptsd due to sensitivities
prone to burn outs due to masking
face not showing emotions as children (before learning masking)
often misdiagnosed by health care providers (particularly mental disorders)
unusual interests
and so much more
tick, tick, tick, …
HOW THE HE.. did I not know? And what’s wrong with the health care system?
PS. I need advice. Should I even tell anyone? I’ve been mocked for «being autistic» a lot….
And I need a hug.
HOW the heck did I not know that before I was in my late 40ies??? I guess because I never looked in that direction, why would I?
But how on earth did the therapist not notice after years of trauma treatment, where I blatantly described my traits in detail??
I don’t get it! My GP thinks I’m bipolar since I have so weird symptoms and don’t make eye contact (he thinks i’m lying), my neurologist thinks I have cronic fatigue and migraines, since my brain is always so foggy, my dietician thinks I have an eating disorder of kinds, since I have non-logical food sensitivities, my mother told me she thought I was a psychopath as a kid, since my face never showed emotions, my therapist thinks I have childhood trauma since I don’t process emotions well, and since I «with my IQ isn’t already the President). And all along, I told them they were all wrong, and that they don’t treat my symptoms seriously. I got called hypochondriac by the doctor scanning my brain…
My therapist even has told me to try and not answer her questions «like an autist».
My friend is autistic and told me I am too, as she «cannot talk with non-autistic people», so I finally tried to learn what autism is. MY GOD!
Autism in women with high IQ:
Difficulty processing emotions,
difficulty with eye contact,
prone to food sensitivities
brain fog
successful masking (to the point of not showing symptoms as adults)
prone to ptsd due to sensitivities
prone to burn outs due to masking
face not showing emotions as children (before learning masking)
often misdiagnosed by health care providers (particularly mental disorders)
unusual interests
and so much more
tick, tick, tick, …
HOW THE HE.. did I not know? And what’s wrong with the health care system?
PS. I need advice. Should I even tell anyone? I’ve been mocked for «being autistic» a lot….
And I need a hug.
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