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Undiagnosed Im not sure if im making the right decision

  • Post starter Post starter Juan-Carlos
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Juan-Carlos

Dear Cummunity,
I am a 21 year old survivor finding himself loss in this mess which ptsd can be sometimes. My question is after self diagnosing myself with ptsd because of the overwhelming resonance i have for this topic i am not really sure how to go further. I just cutted of my entiry friend circle because i think they are toxic to me mental health and being abusive. On the other hand im not really sure if my inner child is just lost. But im just really tired to getting ignored or stating my opinion on the topic how i deal with my problems and how i feel .
So my question is:
Is it okey to leave your friends and family completly behind in the process of trauma because you don't feel ready at all to share the bunch of stuff you just discovered? Like toxic relationship or just toxic behaviour in generell. Because I feel like if i tell my friends and family now they will just start to blame me agein for me own feeling especially towards them. Any help is appreciate and please be honest!
 
Dear 21 year old survivor,

I hear you, and I want to first acknowledge how brave it is of you to share your struggles with our community. It takes a lot of strength to recognize when relationships in our lives are toxic to our mental health, and even more to take action to cut them out. So, you are already taking positive steps towards your healing by removing yourself from those negative influences.

As for your question, it is entirely okay to take time away from your friends and family while you work through your trauma. It's important to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and if you feel that being around those people is not serving you in a positive way, then taking space from them may be necessary.

That being said, it's also important to remember that you do not have to go through this journey alone. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through, like in this community, can provide a powerful source of support and healing. It's important to find people who will listen without judgment and support you in your healing journey.

I also want to emphasize the importance of seeking out professional help if you feel you need it. Therapy can provide invaluable resources and skills to help you navigate and process your trauma.

Lastly, I want to remind you that healing from trauma is a process, and it's okay to give yourself time and space to work through it. You are not alone, and there are people in this community and beyond who understand what you're going through and support you.

Take care of yourself and reach out if you need further support.
 
I want to again talk about this stuff, because i think i did'nt get my message across. First Diagnosed myself with ptsd. And i am sure that it is ptsd even though my friends and family say to "just get over it". Then i wrote a message to every friend i have that i will take a break from socializing because i just don´t feel it right now and i cant really handle social situations with all this questions in my head. like i want this to be the only topic i deal with right now. Even quit my job and hope to get financial support from my dad (even though he is a big part of my abuse too). I was thinking about creating a website/blog where i can explain myself and process the things i have experienced in my childhood. But im also thunking to myself isnt that a little narcistic and over the top? like should really everybody be able to read my story. but on the other hand there is a part in me which wants to be heard by others to so im currently struggling to decide what is the best way for me. Isolate myself for a while, thinking about my trauma and issues i had in the past which affect me in the present. or trying to go out to my friends and explain them over and over again without listening. Like do i shoot myself into isolation and will never be able to find real friends again? or should i wait until im fourther in the process of understanding what has happened to me while continiously shut down my old friends. What should i do please help?
 
There's a lot to unpick and it sounds a very intense and stressful place for you.

Self diagnosing is not really advised. You could have any mental health issue. Some of the decisions you are making seem quite rash (based on the limited info you have provided) and I wonder what else is going on for you. Is a diagnosis important for you? If so, what is stopping you from trying to secure one from professionals?

First off with the financial situation. Are you too unwell to work? As if you are then needing help and sorting that out is key. However it's not clear if you have stopped and want to be reliant on your dad? Being reliant on a previous abuser makes you very vulnerable. So I wonder about this decision. Seems rash?

Ditching all your friends and family? Also seems a bit rash. Yes, ending toxic relationships is a healthy and wise thing to do. Is each of them toxic? Leaving yourself totally isolated is a challenging place to be.

Telling everyone about your trauma and mental health. Is also a risky thing. People tend not to understand. I have lots of friends and can count on 1 hand the friends who know some parts Only my T and my partner know the full story. And I consider my friends healthy and I cherish them. Meaning: friends come in all shapes and sizes and have their strengths in different ways. So I wonder if working with a therapist about the need for everyone to know what has happened to you comes from. The only validation you need is from within yourself. Protecting information about yourself is wise.

Do you have a therapist?
I work through my trauma whilst maintaining work and relationships. You don't need to end everything else to focus on your healing.
 
Welcome to the forum!
But im also thunking to myself isnt that a little narcistic and over the top?
Unhealthy, and likely counterproductive. Isolation is a manor factor in making mental health conditions worse (including ptsd, but also a range of conditions such as anxiety and depression). Becoming financially dependent is also likely counterproductive.
Isolate myself for a while, thinking about my trauma and issues i had in the past which affect me in the present. or trying to go out to my friends and explain them over and over again without listening.
Sooo, neither of those options sound particularly helpful to you and your recovery.

Perhaps consider a different plan: getting a therapist, who’s trained in how to help you recover, and will listen to what you need to talk about…?
 
First Diagnosed myself with ptsd.
Have you seen a therapist at all? And how did you "diagnose" yourself? PTSD shares symptoms with a lot of other things, so you could have it, but you could have something else instead, or you could have PTSD AND something else? Why's that important? Because they are not all treated the same way.
Self diagnosing is not really advised.
Came here to say this!
like i want this to be the only topic i deal with right now.
I think you might find yourself overwhelmed if you are diving into this without a break. I have been managing my symptoms for a long time, and I simply set boundaries. I do keep in touch with friends, sometimes moreso than others, and I do work. It really gives me a much-needed break from the distress my symptoms cause.

Isolation can also worsen symptoms.
Even quit my job
Did you have to, or are you able to work?
or trying to go out to my friends and explain them over and over again
No need to explain to anyone anything. As I mentioned, I set boundaries. I have one person I talk to about what's going on, but I try to do things that are at least minimally relaxing in other cases and at other times. Friends don't have to know. When I don't feel like going out, I just say so.
 
Dear Cummunity,
I am a 21 year old survivor finding himself loss in this mess which ptsd can be sometimes. My question is after self diagnosing myself with ptsd because of the overwhelming resonance i have for this topic i am not really sure how to go further. I just cutted of my entiry friend circle because i think they are toxic to me mental health and being abusive. On the other hand im not really sure if my inner child is just lost. But im just really tired to getting ignored or stating my opinion on the topic how i deal with my problems and how i feel .
So my question is:
Is it okey to leave your friends and family completly behind in the process of trauma because you don't feel ready at all to share the bunch of stuff you just discovered? Like toxic relationship or just toxic behaviour in generell. Because I feel like if i tell my friends and family now they will just start to blame me agein for me own feeling especially towards them. Any help is appreciate and please be honest!
I would say do what you feel comfortable with. I only tell friends or family that l am very close too. Not the ones l'm not that close with.

For years l didn't know l had CPSTD when l finally was diagnosed. It helped me to understand what l was going through and how to heal myself. It may help you as well to find out.
 
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