Diddy, Weinstein, et al: How are trauma survivors responding?

[GammaRay]

How have the spate of public cases involving celebrities like Diddy, Weinstein, and others affected survivors of sexual trauma and domestic abuse? How do you feel about plaintiffs waiting years to come forward? Has it made you reexamine past experiences and judge them as abusive or nonconsensual where you didn't before? Do the news reports trigger you? Provide catharsis? A sense of solidarity?

 

[Weemie]

It's not something that was news to me. The entertainment industry as a whole is exceptionally exploitative. I am pleased that it's becoming more mainstream to talk about. Hopefully in the future, power and prestige will cease to be an insulation against justice.

I've been following the Epstein case for a while now and it's still considered a conspiracy theory to point out that it's improbable he killed himself, and that his guest list includes plenty of politicians and CEOs that have evaded scrutiny.

This is an ongoing problem in our society. As someone who was trafficked for five years as a child I'm particularly sensitive to the corruption at all levels, state and non-state. It's all inter-related, and we won't see real change until the dynamics of our civilization shift as a whole.

Capitalism, ableism, racism, cartels, qualified immunity, drugs, on and on and on. Hell, one of the kickstarters for that shitty Sound of Freedom fantasy vomit garbage was just arrested for abducting a child. My own trafficker wrote a paper about how to combat trafficking and volunteered with sex workers.

Corruption and money and exploitation. Hand-in-f*cking-hand. I don't feel anything about the plaintiffs waiting years to come forward because it's none of my business. Victims aren't obligated to keep their abusers from abusing other people (they're grown f*cking adults, they can do this themselves) and when your case is very high-profile you are all but guaranteed to be intimidated into silence.

While I speak about my experiences in broad strokes there's no way I would put my family at risk of retaliation by going to the police (who were involved in some of my abuse and who I witnessed doing shady shit first-hand) when they'd only have incentive to either brand me as insane or actually harm me and my family.

Not to mention the folks who did it who could easily do the same. Unfortunately it's difficult as someone who also has a case with a minimal amount of publicity I can only imagine how the victims are coping. Everyone has an opinion about it (some of which are judgmental and cruel) and privacy is virtually non-existent.

It's hard enough dealing with this shit on your own let alone having the world's peanut gallery weighing in. (I don't mean this thread, I mean idiots who say incoherent nonsense without an ounce of comprehension or compassion.)

 

[Ecdysis]

How have the spate of public cases involving celebrities like Diddy, Weinstein, and others affected survivors of sexual trauma and domestic abuse? How do you feel about plaintiffs waiting years to come forward? Has it made you reexamine past experiences and judge them as abusive or nonconsensual where you didn't before? Do the news reports trigger you? Provide catharsis? A sense of solidarity?

I was thinking this too, as that awful video in the hotel hallway kept going round everywhere... How that's maybe changing people's perceptions/ feelings/ thoughts?

I know it shouldn't be "necessary" to see it to believe it... But I do think seeing something with your own eyes makes something "real" in a way that hearing about it does not quite...?

Can't remember who it was, but someone said "He's not sorry - he's sorry he got caught" when that ludicrous apology-video came out... And I thought "Damned right!"

 

[GammaRay]

Hopefully in the future, power and prestige will cease to be an insulation against justice.

Corruption and money and exploitation. Hand-in-f*cking-hand.

Indeed. As more cases related to the rich/famous/powerful make the news, I'm wondering: will anyone who thinks they can get away with this kind of thing do it? Or is there an abusive personality type that gravitates towards high status?

 

[No More]

Don’t feel any kind of way about it to be honest. Changes nothing. It’s there in every industry where there’s power and money involved. It’s an illusion that it only exists in dark damp corners.

Don’t really care how long people choose to wait. I think for prosecution outcome purposes the quicker people can come forward the better. But that isn’t always safe for a person to do. In sport if you want to make selection, it isn’t really doable until you’ve quit, or are so untouchably brilliant.

Again, it hasn’t changed my view on anything in regards to my own history. In my own mind *for me* I have some clear lines drawn as to what I consider falls where. But other people are free to draw their own lines. I’m quite unemotional about such things, but I realise that isn’t that case for everyone.

 

[somerandomguy]

In the USA, rich people and celebrities are extremely unlikely to be sent to jail for any reason, so it's not something I spend any time thinking about unless it's an especially egregious case that's triggering to me personally (cf. Depp v. Heard).

 

[Friday]

DGAF.

The US, fairly recently, DOUBLED its rape/sexual assault convictions… all. the. way. to. 3%. Not a typo. THREE percent. When fewer than 20% even bother reporting. And the US is considered fairly progressive in its rape & sexual assault laws.

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[Weemie]

I'm wondering: will anyone who thinks they can get away with this kind of thing do it?

Typically no. Not anyone. There is a specific forensic profile for offenders of this type. If a person doesn't meet those criteria it's unlikely they will offend. That being said, the type of person most commonly attracted to wealth and power? Has many of those markers. Look at rates of bullying amongst nurses, doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. It's like this in the "helping" professions as well as the perceived authority is a form of power seeking.

 

[Rose White]

Look at rates of bullying amongst nurses, doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. It's like this in the "helping" professions as well as the perceived authority is a form of power seeking

So true. We have a big bully at our school. Seems like she hates her job but she wants to keep working there. No matter what I say to her she acts offended. And regularly talks about how hard her life is and how f*cked up her relationships are. Self reflection seems to be around zero. I think that’s something that is common with bullies—no self-reflection. It’s also not true that they all had bad childhoods—maybe half did.

 

[Movingforward10]

The US, fairly recently, DOUBLED its rape/sexual assault convictions… all. the. way. to. 3%. Not a typo. THREE percent. When fewer than 20% even bother reporting. And the US is considered fairly progressive in its rape & sexual assault laws

1.7% in the UK. So think we got you beat on the useless/awful stakes there.


People waiting years to report: totally common. And that's where the US legislation (statute of limitations is it?) needs changing. It's not trauma informed to put a time limit on when a crime can be procescuted. That's where the UK is better as we procescute historical crimes.


What it makes me think is: everyone knows people are abusing. And no one does anything. It takes decades and decades and decades of abuse, with multiple victims making and remaking multiple allegations before these men are brought to any sense of justice.
These men were abusing in plain sight. And no one gives a shit.

 

[GammaRay]

Look at rates of bullying amongst nurses, doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. It's like this in the "helping" professions as well as the perceived authority is a form of power seeking.

Whoa, I wasn't aware of this. Are there actual statistics you can cite?

What it makes me think is: everyone knows people are abusing. And no one does anything. It takes decades and decades and decades of abuse, with multiple victims making and remaking multiple allegations before these men are brought to any sense of justice.
These men were abusing in plain sight. And no one gives a shit.

I wonder why this is so.

 

[No More]

People waiting years to report: totally common. And that's where the US legislation (statute of limitations is it?) needs changing. It's not trauma informed to put a time limit on when a crime can be procescuted. That's where the UK is better as we procescute historical crimes.

I’m on the fence with very historical crimes. Whilst the false allegation rate is low it isn’t non existent. I can’t remember what I was doing on a non descript tuesday 20 years ago. Someone who was genuinely innocent and would have been easily cleared at the time can be in doubt years on just due to time passing and memory.

What it makes me think is: everyone knows people are abusing. And no one does anything. It takes decades and decades and decades of abuse, with multiple victims making and remaking multiple allegations before these men are brought to any sense of justice.
These men were abusing in plain sight. And no one gives a shit.

But this, this makes me really f*cking angry. Because often other adults around do know. But they just choose to turn a blind eye rather than grow a spine. In one case people did know, and they were prepared to throw every underage girl that he came into contact with under the bus so as not to disrupt their fully paid up cushy life. I couldn’t report him because ~reasons~ but you bet my ass I did everything in my power to make it me, and not let him at the younger totally innocent girls who should never had to have been exposed to him.