Sexual Assault Triggers

[Rmnnrs1]

Becoming frustrated how easy it is for me to become extremely triggered. It could be the smallest detail in a film or it could be someone that I talk to who resembles my abuser in anyway whatsoever! (My abuser was my grandad so I can be triggered just from old people existing)

No one gets it, I can’t keep telling my family every time I get triggered because what’s the point they can’t do anything to help and now it’s time to go to sleep and my trauma is all I can think of and yet we’re still expected to go to work the next day and pretend like none of this even happens…

 

[Movingforward10]

Triggers can be awful. But also, they can be things we manage and they either go away or are less severe.

Have you worked on your triggers before? Or do you have things to help soothe you when you are triggered?

Family members are often not helpful in these situations so it can sometimes be working it out for yourself away from them.

 

[Rmnnrs1]

I don’t know how to work on them really, my therapist gave me breathing exercises but they just feel so strange and awkward!

 

[Movingforward10]

I don’t know how to work on them really, my therapist gave me breathing exercises but they just feel so strange and awkward!

Breathing can be really problematic. I know T's really encourage them, but if you're triggered and want to escape your body, focusing on breathing and your body can be really hard.
When you're able to build up to breathing , then it does help.

But other things that might help, and this is my list so others will have their lists:
Speaking out loud to myself. Hearing my adult voice helps me to orientate to the here and now rather than back then. Things like "I'm safe. I'm ok" anything really.
Stroking my arm or hugging myself. Again, touch can be hard but I find that me doing it to me can help bring me back to the here and now.
Having a little toy or something to hold. I usually use my cat's squeesy balls or a little stone. Holding something helps. Like a stress ball?

But also, working out what triggers you and giving yourself other messages helps.

 

[Charbella]

I don’t know how to work on them really, my therapist gave me breathing exercises but they just feel so strange and awkward!

Yeah breathing was a no go for me. Focusing on my breathing made me hyperventilate. Luckily I’m better now and as long as no one tells me to, I find relief in it. I found comfort in saying aloud, it’s not happening now. Honestly even my T thought that strange, as in that I did it and also felt comfort in it. Counting things in the room brought me back into the room too.

I second the thought that family is often unhelpful. Wish it weren’t so but all too often it is.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I used to be triggered by pretty broad/common demographics/archetypes of women, consistently, strongly, as well as many/most aspects of female sexuality in general. Plus slew of other seemingly random stuff which won’t make much sense to the uninformed. It’s hard, but it can be helped and improve.
I still struggle with some of it today, but to a much more manageable degree, and random young women in the street —or on a screen/page— who remind me of my abuser don’t send me into fight/flight anymore.

Some days or contexts are worse than others, but overall you can get a handle on this. Have you looked at the trauma diary method of exposure therapy here, yet? Not a magic fix, but has certainly helped me become comfortable with confronting/being on topic enough to more easily start managing it, or at least my reactions to it. Over time.

 

[Rmnnrs1]

I used to be triggered by pretty broad/common demographics/archetypes of women, consistently, strongly, as well as many/most aspects of female sexuality in general. Plus slew of other seemingly random stuff which won’t make much sense to the uninformed. It’s hard, but it can be helped and improve.
I still struggle with some of it today, but to a much more manageable degree, and random young women in the street —or on a screen/page— who remind me of my abuser don’t send me into fight/flight anymore.

Some days or contexts are worse than others, but overall you can get a handle on this. Have you looked at the trauma diary method of exposure therapy here, yet? Not a magic fix, but has certainly helped me become comfortable with confronting/being on topic enough to more easily start managing it, or at least my reactions to it. Over time.

I haven’t looked at the trauma diary yet, I haven’t been on this site for long and for some reason feel quite nervous about posting, idk why but I haven’t done it a few times, I guess I will look into it thank you

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I haven’t looked at the trauma diary yet, I haven’t been on this site for long and for some reason feel quite nervous about posting, idk why but I haven’t done it a few times, I guess I will look into it thank you

That’s very understandable. The way it works (principles of self-led, internal exposure therapy) can be done equally in private (I do this, at times, with my own off-site “diary”)

Definitely it is useful to build up grounding techniques, do you have any? Things that help ride out, or reduce the stress of being triggered. Anything that helps keep you out of shutting down or spiralling, while things are intense emotionally? (Doesn’t mean not crying, but still being safe)

 

[Friday]

I don’t know how to work on them really, my therapist gave me breathing exercises but they just feel so strange and awkward!

Here’s a couple great places to start! (Articles Below)

Working with triggers

Mar 10, 2018

Triggers are part and parcel of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If you have PTSD, you have triggers of some kind that cause a symptomatic reaction. The positive to triggers is that with time and effort you can remove them or lessen the symptomatic impact to non-distressing levels.

Many years ago, I wrote about stressors vs. triggers due to the confusion that stemmed from the use of these terms. If you are unsure about the difference, you should read that article first, as we directly discuss triggers...

• anthony
• Comments: 49
• Topic: Articles

• 

How to use triggers as a means to recovery?

Aug 6, 2018

To answer this question, lets first define a psychological trigger.

A trigger is an activated traumatic memory due to your present environment via one or more of your five senses, sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. A trigger will result in a symptomatic or behavioral response.

To fully understand the difference between trigger and stressor, please read Stressor vs. Trigger (recommended reading).

Many sufferers and supporters view triggers negatively, as they provoke a negative action, so avoidance is often the solution--a natural human response. When you look...

• anthony
• Comments: 38
• Topic: Articles

• 

 

[Anne-Ana Mouse]

Yeah breathing was a no go for me. Focusing on my breathing made me hyperventilate. Luckily I’m better now and as long as no one tells me to, I find relief in it. I found comfort in saying aloud, it’s not happening now. Honestly even my T thought that strange, as in that I did it and also felt comfort in it. Counting things in the room brought me back into the room too.

I second the thought that family is often unhelpful. Wish it weren’t so but all too often it is.

That’s really good. For me I would say this is my body responding to a crazy situation that happened to me that’s not normal and normal people don’t experience this, this is a normal response to an abnormal thing. No one can see what I am going through if I control my body and my expressions. No one knows what I am feeling. I control my body and I control what people see about me now.

This is how I was able to graduate HS with honors and also become a manager at my part time job. My body triggers were non-stop back then. It’s rare now (at 43) that my body reacts to a reminder like an object or smell or noise or someone’s haircut or eye shape! I think all food, every holiday, any groups of people of any age were triggers for decades. I was terrified of certain benign objects found in gestations that reminded me of things for a very long time. Then one day I could look right at it, and say, huh, you don’t control me anymore, I’m not affected by you now. I didn’t try it just happened one day that I stopped freaking out when I saw THAT certain thing. That was a good day. All those things would make my body flip out and of course I would panic, but I’d coach myself through it all like I learned in counseling (sort of, they just gave me a lot of awareness and taught me how to ground myself and some other tips) and it worked brilliantly!

 

[Anne-Ana Mouse]

I used to be triggered by pretty broad/common demographics/archetypes of women, consistently, strongly, as well as many/most aspects of female sexuality in general. Plus slew of other seemingly random stuff which won’t make much sense to the uninformed. It’s hard, but it can be helped and improve.
I still struggle with some of it today, but to a much more manageable degree, and random young women in the street —or on a screen/page— who remind me of my abuser don’t send me into fight/flight anymore.

Some days or contexts are worse than others, but overall you can get a handle on this. Have you looked at the trauma diary method of exposure therapy here, yet? Not a magic fix, but has certainly helped me become comfortable with confronting/being on topic enough to more easily start managing it, or at least my reactions to it. Over time.

Oh I am only laughing because I am today mostly terrified of White Southern Women, especially short conservative Christians with short hair and long nails! I also refuse to be in a room of all people of the same race under any circumstances over a certain number of people, about 4. This is one of very few times I have admitted it! LOL

 

[Sodapop20]

Becoming frustrated how easy it is for me to become extremely triggered. It could be the smallest detail in a film or it could be someone that I talk to who resembles my abuser in anyway whatsoever! (My abuser was my grandad so I can be triggered just from old people existing)

No one gets it, I can’t keep telling my family every time I get triggered because what’s the point they can’t do anything to help and now it’s time to go to sleep and my trauma is all I can think of and yet we’re still expected to go to work the next day and pretend like none of this even happens…

Sorry you experienced what you did with your grandpa. I relate to a lot of this you not alone in small things out of no where trigging you. I can literally look at someone’s arm and have one of the predators that caused my trauma flash in to my mind. So I think it’s valid to get triggered by things. You have been through a lot and do that makes it hard to feel safe. It’s hard also to keep keeping on after those hard day. If your family is supportive then sometimes it helps just to tell people what you are experiencing. I know what it’s like to stay up all night thinking about it also. I hope you day at work wasn’t to bad after your getting triggered.