Childhood Is it normal for dads to spank daughters between age 3-10 and remove their pants and underwear?

[Ummm]

I may be traumatized from this but can’t bring myself to talk to a counselor because I am not sure if this is something that I should have trauma from.

 

[whiteraven]

Very common in the 60s and 70s, but I can't speak for later years.

If it bothers you, please do talk to your counselor about it. I mean, that's what they are there for, right? What bothers some, may not others, but what is important is you are concerned about it. That's all that matters!

 

[Ummm]

Very common in the 60s and 70s, but I can't speak for later years.

If it bothers you, please do talk to your counselor about it. I mean, that's what they are there for, right? What bothers some, may not others, but what is important is you are concerned about it. That's all that matters!

My years were later. I worry that if I talk to them because it would be something that is common and they might secretly internally make fun of me for having trauma from it.

My years were later. I worry that if I talk to them because it would be something that is common and they might secretly internally make fun of me for having trauma from it.

I meant mine was years later after the 60s and 70s. I was born way later

 

[whiteraven]

I worry that if I talk to them because it would be something that is common and they might secretly internally make fun of me for having trauma from it.

A professional is not going to make fun of you for feeling the way you do.

 

[OceanSpray]

I was spanked similarly and have trauma from other stuff, when I mentioned it to my counselor she made a big ish deal about it. It would have been completely understandable to her if I’d been traumatized from it if I wasn’t already dealing with other stuff. As it is, we still did some processing around it because it shouldn’t have happened and there’s a lot in my childhood that was “normal” to me and so not exactly traumatizing but she (and other therapists) have regarded as really not normal and worthy of their own processing.

I’m sorry, that was really long winded and all I mean is it’s definitely worth talking to your therapist about and they definitely won’t make fun of you (even internally) for it.

 

[Friday]

Relatively normal… depending on when/where.

For about a 1,000 years removing clothes was normal, because it prevented death from infection, from anything which might involve broken skin, and which translated to extra sting (no lasting damage/broken skin) for lesser punishments. So the humane / correct thing to do is to remove ANY article of clothing. Unless you wanted someone to die slowly & painfully after their punishment. Instead of “just” being punished. Which did happen, but again, was very rare.

Removing clothing before physical punishment fell out of common use during the 1970s-1980s. As skin was almost never broken during modern western punishment. (Asia still uses both lash & rod, which breaks skin. Hands, spoons, belts, usually do not. Although belts CAN. And it’s in the belt crowd that bare skin is still USUALLY required. Because even a single fiber of cloth, in an open wound, causes festering death.).

Someone stripping you naked and jerking off as they beat you, or in any other way getting pleasure, or being cruel? NEVER normal. And almost always recorded / the person’s name would get an identifier, in both the common vernacular & written record. Usually “black”. Black Jack. Black Joe. Black John. Etc.

 

[Ummm]

Relatively normal… depending on when/where.

For about a 1,000 years removing clothes was normal, because it prevented death from infection, from anything which might involve broken skin, and which translated to extra sting (no lasting damage/broken skin) for lesser punishments. So the humane / correct thing to do is to remove ANY article of clothing. Unless you wanted someone to die slowly & painfully after their punishment. Instead of “just” being punished. Which did happen, but again, was very rare.

Removing clothing before physical punishment fell out of common use during the 1970s-1980s. As skin was almost never broken during modern western punishment. (Asia still uses both lash & rod, which breaks skin. Hands, spoons, belts, usually do not. Although belts CAN. And it’s in the belt crowd that bare skin is still USUALLY required. Because even a single fiber of cloth, in an open wound, causes festering death.).

Someone stripping you naked and jerking off as they beat you, or in any other way getting pleasure, or being cruel? NEVER normal. And almost always recorded / the person’s name would get an identifier, in both the common vernacular & written record. Usually “black”. Black Jack. Black Joe. Black John. Etc.

I was spanked similarly and have trauma from other stuff, when I mentioned it to my counselor she made a big ish deal about it. It would have been completely understandable to her if I’d been traumatized from it if I wasn’t already dealing with other stuff. As it is, we still did some processing around it because it shouldn’t have happened and there’s a lot in my childhood that was “normal” to me and so not exactly traumatizing but she (and other therapists) have regarded as really not normal and worthy of their own processing.

I’m sorry, that was really long winded and all I mean is it’s definitely worth talking to your therapist about and they definitely won’t make fun of you (even internally) for it.

A professional is not going to make fun of you for feeling the way you do.

Thanks,

I actually feel more validated after watching this video. It talks about spanking being considered sexual abuse. Based on the fetish that I developed at the age of 6 and had to work myself out of in my older adulthood, it was comforting to hear I wasn’t alone both in the video and the comments. Yes it may be common and normal but I’m tired of people diminishing the traumatic effects that it can have!

 

[StillEmbarrassed]

Thanks,

I actually feel more validated after watching this video. It talks about spanking being considered sexual abuse. Based on the fetish that I developed at the age of 6 and had to work myself out of in my older adulthood, it was comforting to hear I wasn’t alone both in the video and the comments. Yes it may be common and normal but I’m tired of people diminishing the traumatic effects that it can have!

Wow. Thank you so much for this video. I am in my 70s, and the dark, shameful shadow cast over my otherwise wonderful childhood by parents who did not understand how damaging spankings were to me is something I have come to understand but have never been able to erase. In my 30s I came to understand that I had all the earmarks of a sexually abused child, but no one at that time was talking about the sexual implications of spanking. It was clear to me, though, that the spanking fetish that got in the way of a satisfying sex life was hard wired into me and that it was a direct result of spankings in my childhood.

 

[amicableDog6980]

Thanks,

I actually feel more validated after watching this video. It talks about spanking being considered sexual abuse. Based on the fetish that I developed at the age of 6 and had to work myself out of in my older adulthood, it was comforting to hear I wasn’t alone both in the video and the comments. Yes it may be common and normal but I’m tired of people diminishing the traumatic effects that it can have!

I feel so validated. Also even if you think spanking is ok how can forcefully pulling a child's pants down to spank their bare bottom, how can the forcefully pulling a child's pants down not be sexual abuse? Also then ok hitting butt or those areas in blue elicits a sexual response in the brain but then if a parent hits a child somewhere else its physical abuse. So logically why is it ok to hit a child in this one spot?

I feel so validated. Also even if you think spanking is ok how can forcefully pulling a child's pants down to spank their bare bottom, how can the forcefully pulling a child's pants down not be sexual abuse? Also then ok hitting butt or those areas in blue elicits a sexual response in the brain but then if a parent hits a child somewhere else its physical abuse. So logically why is it ok to hit a child in this one spot?

I talked to my husband about this video and then tried to dig into the study she mentions but there is nothing in the study that says spanking reacts in the brain similarily to sexual abuse.

 

[Friday]

I feel so validated. Also even if you think spanking is ok how can forcefully pulling a child's pants down to spank their bare bottom, how can the forcefully pulling a child's pants down not be sexual abuse?

Because children aren’t sexual? At ALL. And if they’re in your care, they’re naked at least 1/8th of the time, anyway. Is keeping a child clean and healthy sexual abuse? It’s not. Not doing so, however is both neglectful, as well as physically abusive over time, as their skin literally ROTS covered in days, weeks, months, years of their own filth. Necrotic fasciitis, cellulitis, & gangrene ooh my!

 

[amicableDog6980]

Because children aren’t sexual? At ALL. And if they’re in your care, they’re naked at least 1/8th of the time, anyway. Is keeping a child clean and healthy sexual abuse? It’s not. Not doing so, however is both neglectful, as well as physically abusive over time, as their skin literally ROTS covered in days, weeks, months, years of their own filth. Necrotic fasciitis, cellulitis, & gangrene ooh my!

You missed my point. I'm not saying to never make your child naked. Like you said ofc you have to clean them. I meant to point out the force part. That forcing a child to remove their clothes against their will takes away their bodily autonomy, dignity, sense of safety, and sense of self. Even if its to clean the child why are you forcing them? There has to be a better way to convince a child to get undressed to get clean than to force it.

 

[Friday]

That forcing a child to remove their clothes against their will takes away their bodily autonomy, dignity, sense of safety, and sense of self

You do that 9 times out of 10, when you change their diaper.

10/10 when they hit another child in the head with the toy truck they both wanted to play with.

Ditto, strapping them into their car seat.

Children… are CHILDREN. It is up to you, as an adult, to make the correct choices for their wellbeing.

If you’re are rapey abusing piece of filth? Then, sure. You abuse them. Most people? Are not. And they still DESPISE, HATE, ARE INFURIATED by your choice… to strap them into their car seat, or change their diaper, forceful,y strip them and physically wash them in a bath despite screaming/flailing/declarations of undying hatred. But? You. Are. The. Adult. Making choices they hate, by picking them up, and doing things COMPLETELY AGAINST their bodily autonomy, dignity, sense of safety, and sense of self.

Teenagers are too big to pick up. Much as most parents might like to.