Why are people that don’t know me questioning my ability to consent to sex and making up things about my abilities?

[Mentalhealthstudent]

Someone made up a lie about my ability to consent to sex and was very ableist saying to me saying this, Of course they ghost you. You're giving up everything without even speaking to them for a while so why would they call you back? Your mental status is clearly that of a child which would scare tf out of any real man. How old does your Dr's and therapists say your mind is? Bc youre almost 30 still living at home & dont have the ability to make your own medical decisions. That's terrifying for any man who sleeps with you bc it can potentially lead to a charge. This is completely not true and out of the line for them to say that. And they are saying this due to me being on medical guardianship. I can still have sex under medical guardianship. Why are they saying I deserve to be ghosted by guys because they think my mental status is like a child and think the guy will be charged for having sex with me? I am very high functioning and had sex many times. I am capable of making decisions. Why would they say this to an autistic person when this isn’t true? I can consent to sex. What are my rights if they are slandering me like this? The problem is they never met me in my life and don’t know what I have accomplished and how good of a person and how sweet I am and had plenty of boyfriends! This is affecting my mental health and I don’t deserve to be ghosted because of my disability and people’s misconceptions about me. What should I do about this?

 

[Movingforward10]

Ignore them?

It depends who they are. If they are a professional related to assessing your capacity then can you challenge their assessment by any formal route?

If they are someone online or an aquitance , then ignore and delete. Their view has no bearing on your life.

 

[Mentalhealthstudent]

Ignore them?

It depends who they are. If they are a professional related to assessing your capacity then can you challenge their assessment by any formal route?

If they are someone online or an aquitance , then ignore and delete. Their view has no bearing on your life.

Yes you are right! And they are someone online like some guys I meet online and anon people on forums that say this. I ignore and block. Why would they even say something like this?

 

[Movingforward10]

Yes you are right! And they are someone online like some guys I meet online and anon people on forums that say this. I ignore and block. Why would they even say something like this?

Because they are the general public with their own opinions, some of which is ignorant or misguided. We're not all going to see things the same way, and that is sometimes okay and sometimes hurtful.
I am not one for sharing personal information on social media. This website is the only place I share personal stuff to help with my healing. And even on this website I have blocked people and ignore people who I find offensive or triggering.

 

[ms spock]

What has been said to you, I imagine, very hurtful. 8-10 weeks ago a professional who I trusted said undermining comments and I felt very upset afterwards. I relate to your distress. I feel for you being infantilised. My sympathy is with you.

So if you need validation and empathy know the below was intended and just ignore it.

If they are a medical practitioner or professional you have the option, part of your interdisciplinary team you have the option to put in a complaint.

I don't know what country you are in but I have been an advocate for some folks and I got them linked up to a disability advocate support professional who assisted them during their complaints process.

Don't tell them this, but document, say in your private diary here, any comments, times, and dates. It will assist with a complaints process.

If you don't feel up to complaining I 100% get that. I support you in that. It is exhausting. I get anxious myself.

However even with the decision not to complain. I would suggest that you document dates, times and comments in case they try to behave inappropriately professionally and/or so you can see the patterns of their behaviours.

If they are an uneducated person on the Internet block and ignore.

I know it hurts but a lot of people don't understand and do not know. They hunt advice which is unhelpful.

There's also a lot of AI bots on now so it might not even be a person who you are talking to.

Don't give this to type of person this type of information. I have been there and made that mistake. I try to be very careful what I say now on other forums.

 

[Mentalhealthstudent]

Because they are the general public with their own opinions, some of which is ignorant or misguided. We're not all going to see things the same way, and that is sometimes okay and sometimes hurtful.
I am not one for sharing personal information on social media. This website is the only place I share personal stuff to help with my healing. And even on this website I have blocked people and ignore people who I find offensive or triggering.

What has been said to you, I imagine, very hurtful. 8-10 weeks ago a professional who I trusted said undermining comments and I felt very upset afterwards. I relate to your distress. I feel for you being infantilised. My sympathy is with you.

So if you need validation and empathy know the below was intended and just ignore it.

If they are a medical practitioner or professional you have the option, part of your interdisciplinary team you have the option to put in a complaint.

I don't know what country you are in but I have been an advocate for some folks and I got them linked up to a disability advocate support professional who assisted them during their complaints process.

Don't tell them this, but document, say in your private diary here, any comments, times, and dates. It will assist with a complaints process.

If you don't feel up to complaining I 100% get that. I support you in that. It is exhausting. I get anxious myself.

However even with the decision not to complain. I would suggest that you document dates, times and comments in case they try to behave inappropriately professionally and/or so you can see the patterns of their behaviours.

If they are an uneducated person on the Internet block and ignore.

I know it hurts but a lot of people don't understand and do not know. They hunt advice which is unhelpful.

There's also a lot of AI bots on now so it might not even be a person who you are talking to.

Don't give this to type of person this type of information. I have been there and made that mistake. I try to be very careful what I say now on other forums.

You are definitely right! I will block and ignore the ignorant comments. And if a professional ever said that to me I would definitely file a complaint. But they say I can consent to sex.

 

[Mentalhealthstudent]

Because they are the general public with their own opinions, some of which is ignorant or misguided. We're not all going to see things the same way, and that is sometimes okay and sometimes hurtful.
I am not one for sharing personal information on social media. This website is the only place I share personal stuff to help with my healing. And even on this website I have blocked people and ignore people who I find offensive or triggering.

Yes you are right. I will block and ignore them because I only know the truth and people that know me know the truth!