Dissociation Explained

[Deleted member 8714]

someone with DID doesn't remember the different parts of their personality from what I've seen and read.

This is not necessarily so. Each "system of alters" is different. No two people with DID are alike. In some "systems" all alters know each other. They each play a role and are aware of when to step aside for the next alter to step forward and take control. I had this reality in my "system." My therapist called it highly functioning.

And I think IMHO that someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder has a much bigger mental health issue than someone who dissociates with PTSD alone.

Actually, I found my DID a blessing. It gave me my creativity to do many things at once which others cannot possibly do. I still multi-task far beyond what my best friend considers normal. I carry a conversation on the phone with my friend, play Boggle online with her and make comments on chat, and do research all at the same time and quite often get the top score on Boggle. I had/have both PTSD and DID. The DID mostly resolved but still dissociate at times. And I've taken one ability which I used to use for remembering and now use it as a tool for writing.

IMHO, DID is more like an emotional health issue rather than a mental health issue.

 

[i think its very sad]

Do you see how I put "to have had ptsd" not to have ptsd. That's the problem, I should' ve gotten over all of this a long time ago. It happened a long time ago. Time is supposed to heal all wounds. i think some of these therapists should have explained to me what we were trying to do. I'd say "what sould we talk about (there's a lot of this crap, where do I start) " and all I'd get was "what do you want to talk about?" I'd say "whatever will help me?" Then its "and how did that make you feel?" Well, to me its pretty predictable how this crap will make you feel and they are getting paid to know this. I guess I just misunderstood, because I would decide that they were stupid and just using me to learn how this crap makes you feel because even if you tell them they just look at you like they cant understand it. They certainly have nothing like that in their past, this crap only happens to sickos like me. and, the whole thing crashes and burns and becomes a waste of time and money. Why would I want to go back, pay somebody so I can tell them a lot of embarrassing things & then they just look at me like they cannot relate to any of it?

So, the question is: is this the same type of therapist I need to look for? Do I need to just keep going back and telling them horror stories and whether they come to be sympathetic towards me or not; its good for me to hash this crap around one more time. Or should I ask them how I can control this need to zone-out all the time and tell them about responsible mom and there really are a couple more acts that ive cultivated. One goes out and parties( not any more, im too old)like shes a rock star. One was a young girl in the middle of a fairytale and she really is waiting for her prince to come & shes cleaning everything up and cooking supper. It's not like they've ever done anything that I don't know about. It was all a forced fantasy and I'm guessing thats not normal. Its a way to not be lonely and depressed.Trouble is, Im too old to use them anymore and I dont think its a good idea for me to play "Let's pretend" any more.

 

[anthony]

Time is supposed to heal all wounds.

Not PTSD...

If you want to help yourself, then first read the four threads located: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/forums/trauma-diaries.10/[/DLMURL]

Then, in the "Trauma Diaries (Members)" forum, start a diary, start writing it all out, and let other members help you to nut through each problem and find your solution unique to you.

 

[Abstract]

I have split the exposure therapy discussion off to: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/exposure-therapy.16279/[/DLMURL]

you either stop encoding into memory specifics that occur, or your senses are only encoding one or several of them to memory.

.

Anthony,
I had started to suspect some of that but I wondered about the theory that dissociation often involves recording the information but splitting it. Apologies if you have covered this before.
I hate the idea that the gaps may never be filled in. I have sight and some sound in different flashes (one at a time but not together) and no physical sensation and gaps.
Thank you.

 

[anthony]

The problem with dissociation is that the experts don't conclusively know the answer, because its not a one size fits all aspect. What they know from studying patients, is that it seems the majority simply never encoded the information from all senses, however; there are a few that then did encode it and from something they experience in life, suddenly it all comes flooding back, without any prompting or such. Rare that is though compared to the majority, which they theorize never actually encoded it in the first place.

Putting pieces together may build a picture, but still not a complete picture. The best pictures built on past occurrences are those from multiple subjects, ie. witnesses / verification sources.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Our senses actually don't record everything like we thought, all the time, and in fact they only record the emotionally significant / what we want to remember for the most part. So during a traumatic event, it would not be uncommon that during dissociation, you either stop encoding into memory specifics that occur, or your senses are only encoding one or several of them to memory.

I have a photographic memory which includes combinations of emotions or sight or smell or touch or hearing or taste.
I used to have an alter called Photomind who remembered everything which happened. All memories were recorded in mini movies for each event. All I had to do was access it. Photomind is now integrated. The "movies" were accurate because I had certain persons later verify specific details contained in them.

 

[anthony]

Incongruous, I am feeling you want to be recognised for DID. This forum does not support DID. If you wish to discuss DID, you can do so from many forums specifically tailored to discuss it. Google "DID Forums" to discuss DID please.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Incongruous, I am feeling you want to be recognised for DID. This forum does not support DID. If you wish to discuss DID, you can do so from many forums specifically tailored to discuss it. Google "DID Forums" to discuss DID please.

Hi Anthony,
No. Just adding another aspect to the discussion since I've experienced it.

My major problem right now is dealing with PTSD which has become a focal point in my life again.

 

[Abbi]

I feel that when discussions dealing with dissociative features of PTSD begin many people jump to DID commonly known after Hollywood characterizations as multiple personality disorder. DID does exist, but frankly it is extremely rare and hope this info eases some minds.

This is my understanding, in very much so lay terms (not from my own research but from back when I was in a trauma treatment center and my dissociative symptoms were first given a name) - This was explained because when I was told I was "disassociating" well I presumed I was going to be the next Sybil, scared me sh*tless!

Disassociation is a not uncommon symptom cluster of PTSD. Particularly with childhood and/or complex traumas. What begins as a higher ordered, quite effect defense mechanism to those early traumas doesn't work so well as it continues in later life. So what was a good defense during the trauma later becomes hampering to our psychological functioning and adjustment. Symptoms of dissociation resulting from trauma may include depersonalization, psychological numbing, disengagement, or amnesia regarding the events of the abuse. Yep it may well be that "zone out" feeling, or floatiness, or just not in your body feeling. I would highly recommend a conversation with your doc or T if you have any of these symptoms and you have not discussed it with them before.

Dissociative symptoms run on a continuum from the most mild to the most serious. This ranges from daydreaming to fractured/compartmentalized personalities such as associated with DID, aka the multiples. Even within DID there is a continuum of severity. DID is a fairly rare diagnosis between 1-5% of the general population, and among that population diagnosed with DID approximately only 5% of those exhibit the level of severity that rises to what is known is pop culture as "multiples".

DID is a separate diagnosis than PTSD. You may very well legitimately have dissociative symptoms with PTSD and not have a dissociative disorder.

Hope this brings a few of you a little less worry, as it did me. Anthony, this is really general and "lay" oriented, but this was how I needed to hear it at the time. Hope I am not way off base, if I am please correct me. If I am off base, apologies ahead of time.

 

[Awakening]

This is so incredibly interesting. I've been told by various health professionals that I am highly dissociative, but I've always thought they are wrong because the little I have read on it sounds different to what happens with me, but this sums it up to a tee, in a spooky now I have goosebumps way. So thankyou.

Also explains why a) My psychiatrist said to me that I will never go insane because of my top dissociative skills (guess everyone has a special talent) and b) My therapist said she is not worried about me actually committing suicide despite frequent suicide ideation because the dissociation is so strong (at the time I thought she was being rather insensitive though and not taking me seriously).

 

[Awakening]

Ooh another thought. At my most recent sessions my T has been smiling and commenting on how much I'm talking. Last session I said sorry but what do you mean, I never shut up, I never stop talking in therapy. She smiled and said err no, we used to often have big moments of silence where you would disappear, and shutdown completely and it would take a few minutes to bring you back and when I asked where were you just then, you had no idea.

She said she could actually see the process take place, she'd ask a question and she could physically observe the change, and usually she was powerless to stop me going to wherever it is I like to go!

 

[Abbi]

Yep, describes me perfectly at times. At one point, all my T sessions began with grounding exercises I was taught to try and diminish it. Until the point I spoke about above I had NO idea. I just had no idea.
I have found what I can find to "read" often does not give good explanation to what I was presenting, but the more extremes. I was lucky to have a group around me at the time knowledgeable in trauma and PTSD vs. relying on outside sources (GOOGLE), I would still be in the dark about it.