Gloria
Diamond Member
I have been lonely but I can't seem to find someone who is healthy - doesn't drink, gamble, smoke, etc. Then I have a farm with all the animals and men just seem to be just too work. But I broke my back last year. My farm needs so much work and I didn't realize this until I got my tractor on Sunday that the reason that I wanted a man was to help me carry and lift and do things on my farm.
Sex - I have male friends that will help me out and then I don't have to make them breakfast or listen to them whine about work or their elder parents or whatever. It's cost effective. I don't spend as much money on clothes or makeup or going out. I have male friends.
So I have a tractor now with a cart. What does this mean? I can shovel out my horse stalls but I'm not strong enough to push the wheel barrel out to the end of the paddock (especially in winter with mud or snow). Now I just pull my little tractor with cart and I do it myself.
I have branches fall down in my paddocks. I just get out my saws all and put it in my cart and haul it to the burn pit. Tall weeds that my goats refuse to eat (spoiled brats!), just mow it with my tractor. Can't push a lawnmower because of fibromialgia and three herniated discs in back, just sit on my riding tractor. I feel empowered! I feel like I don't need a man.
I'm wrting this because I was married too many times (but not as many as Liz Taylor) because I didn't think I could get by on my own. I have abandonment issues. My parents didn't love me and then I was banned from my family as a teenager. Men have deserted me. I have felt all alone and I always felt that I needed someone to take care of me. Now that I'm a crippled old lady, I am finding out that I can don't need someone to take care of me. What I do need is love and acceptance but if it means getting into a relationship (again) with someone who is verbally or physically abusive or takes advantage of me. I got a tractor!!!
Sex - I have male friends that will help me out and then I don't have to make them breakfast or listen to them whine about work or their elder parents or whatever. It's cost effective. I don't spend as much money on clothes or makeup or going out. I have male friends.
So I have a tractor now with a cart. What does this mean? I can shovel out my horse stalls but I'm not strong enough to push the wheel barrel out to the end of the paddock (especially in winter with mud or snow). Now I just pull my little tractor with cart and I do it myself.
I have branches fall down in my paddocks. I just get out my saws all and put it in my cart and haul it to the burn pit. Tall weeds that my goats refuse to eat (spoiled brats!), just mow it with my tractor. Can't push a lawnmower because of fibromialgia and three herniated discs in back, just sit on my riding tractor. I feel empowered! I feel like I don't need a man.
I'm wrting this because I was married too many times (but not as many as Liz Taylor) because I didn't think I could get by on my own. I have abandonment issues. My parents didn't love me and then I was banned from my family as a teenager. Men have deserted me. I have felt all alone and I always felt that I needed someone to take care of me. Now that I'm a crippled old lady, I am finding out that I can don't need someone to take care of me. What I do need is love and acceptance but if it means getting into a relationship (again) with someone who is verbally or physically abusive or takes advantage of me. I got a tractor!!!
