I Wanna Smash Facebook Inventors In The Face!

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

KP, don't feel proud cause I had to be so blunt, crude, ya know? But I thank you for not judging me for my bold comments to my granddaughter - her mother and my other grown kids were upset with me for saying that to her. I was told it was disgusting to say that... really? How else could I get her to see the point... ? I tried to be nice about it, but it didn't faze her at all - I had to be gross.

 

[KP the nut]

I had to be so blunt, crude, ya know? But I thank you for not judging me for my bold comments to my granddaughter How else could I get her to see the point... ? I tried to be nice about it, but it didn't faze her at all - I had to be gross.

You did what was needed to get through to her. Who cares if it was crude, many parents would have left the conversation, you did good, crude or not.

 

[njray]

Great opinions........

I will reiterate physical violence is BAD!

I hope others here that did not know now understand the implications that of facebook postings.

If I was picking up my kids from there friends home and they opened the door and i saw all the makings and ingrediants on a kitchen table for all of my kids and the world to see ....... scales, bags, white powder and asked what it was and the person did not come up with a legitimate excuse I would not call it stalking when i called the police I would call it being responsible. Maybe the kids would say I was stalking but nope I know I was being responsible......If it was behind closed doors and I nor my kids were exposed I would not know the difference but invite my kid and open the door It is not stalking any longer.........

You are correct NUT..... Bannning them is not the answer making them safer much safer is

 

[Reclusive]

I agree that banning is not the answer, but properly educating them is. I think 13 is a bit young for FB, but 15-16 would be good. That would give them a couple years of closely supervised usage before they can move out. But I also think it's important to remember that FB has MILLIONS of users across the globe, but we only hear about the bad things that happen. YES, it's important to be cautious, YES it's important to talk to your kids, YES there are sickos out there masturbating to their fully clothed pictures, but unleashing an 18 year old suddenly on to facebook is pretty dangerous IMO for the 18 year old.

I have a friend whose son is... 14? now. They're both my friends on FB and it's amazing to watch the interaction his mom has with his friends. She's pretty liberal, and he's a boy so not as scary but only by a hair, but she's the 'cool' mom to his friends. If I ever have a kid, I hope I'm a mom like her.

 

[OKRADLAK]

View attachment 4168

Published in The New Yorker, May 16. Sherman Alexie rocks. <3

DANG!!! I LOVE THIS! Makes me feel total shame, but hey............knocked me out.

 

[Reclusive]

LOL I tried to check my friend's son's age on Facebook and apparently he's got that part hidden. Good on him!

 

[freakofnurture]

Oooh, a pet peeve of mine. Nice.

Kids are like cats: You look, they obey, you don't look, they do what they want.

If you want to protect them, teach them to critically assess situations. Don't make them vulnerable and dependent on you by keeping them naive about reality.

It might not fit into your view of what a childhood should be like or when in childhood things should happen. But when your child wants to do something, it will. If not at home, then at the place of a badly supervised friend. You can only resort to equipping them for the tour they insist on taking.

Help them to grow mature and responsible by granting them the ability to be just that. Help them to trust themselfs and stand their ground by respecting their views, taking them seriously and discussing them like you would with the adult that they feel they already are. Make them resistant to pressure by not using pressure on them, but arguments, and by admitting when they do have a point.

They want to go on facebook? Allow them to and discuss the dangers with them. And please, take their views on fb over those of the moral panic media and politics; your kids live in youth culture, they know what it means to kids to dress up like a whore or a pimp, and you will likely be surprised to learn the truth.

 

[AngelaMarie]

It is actually simple for me. The computer is in the living room for my children. They are not allowed at this point to post their photos or personal information on the internet. They have an email account where they talk to their friends. When they are older and can take responsibility that's ok. Until then I know what kind of sick people lurk on the internet. We use the internet to look up history, information for school, etc. Their games are not online because when I saw some of the user names it freaked me out a little bit! I also saw some of the pages from other children and that was worse!!! A parents job is to moderate, moderate, moderate!!

 

[Jet]

The kids/Facebook combo scares the bejeezuz out of me. Do you know how many kids I have seen lie about their ages and magically become 21? And either they don't understand how FB's privacy settings work or they don't care so their pages are accessible to anyone.

Another thing I have noticed is that kids really do not understand when they have posted too much info and how it could be used against them. Example: my boyfriend's 13-14 year old cousin change his age to 21, posted where he goes to school, his parents names (which means info can be looked up online that might not be available if one were looking up a minor), posted photos of his house and regularly uses that damn places feature to tell everyone where he is. None of that includes postings on friend's walls that probably contains even more info a predator could use.

 

[catjudo]

Just my point...your boyfriend's cousin's parents are not adequately supervising, moderating and teaching their child. The problem lies with them not with FB.

 

[Jet]

I'm not saying that the fault lies with FB (not even sure what they would be able to do about it even of the fault was theirs). Just that the FB/kids combo is scary. And it is. Heck I know a lot of adults who do not understand their privacy settings...especially with the changes they so frequently make.

When we told his parents what we saw on his page they were floored. But not because of the level of information given out (not that they were pleased to find oit mind you). They didn't even know he had a FB page, he was/is not allowed to have one.

His parents have one home computer that the boys are allowed to use and it is monotored very closely. Their dad searches for/finds people online for a living and the boys have been well versed on the dangers of putting too much info or the wrong info online. But kids are kids and they don't necessarily always think things through. Not only that but they can be devious little critters when it comes to getting their way :) This particular account was set up on a school computer and was logged onto from the school and occasionally a friends computer.

 

[freakofnurture]

@catjudo: How much privacy do your kids have, and how do you decide about the amount you grant them?

It's possible that I'm projecting my own great need to establish privacy by creating and keeping secrets, but the idea of a parent demanding transparency of any part of their childen's lifes makes me feel uncomfortable. I am of the opinion that everybody, independent of age, should have the right to remain a stranger. I feel that this is necessary to protect integrity and personhood, you know, that a child owns their own life, their data etc. and decides for themselfs what to tell and what to keep to themselfs.