OMG...OMG...I Can't Believe I Did It - Faced My Oldest Fear Today

[Marlene]

I faced one of my oldest fears today. I rode on the back of a motorcycle.

See...when I was ten or eleven, I was forced to ride on the back of the motorcycle of the man who molested me. Thought he was taking me away and I was never coming back to my family. Since that day, I've been scared shitless of bikes. Even hearing a bike race by will make me about jump out of my skin.

But, I'm so DAMMED tired of living with fears so I decided to face one. OK...I only went about a mile and most of the ride my eyes were squeezed shut, but I freakin' did it! I had so much adrenaline pumping through me (this time in a good way-not an anxiety attack) that I was shaking like a leaf when I got off the bike. But I did it! :biggrin:

I called my hubby at home and told him and the first words out of his mouth (after that he was proud of me) was to ask if he could buy that Harley he wants. Nice try, hon! LOL

One of the guys I work with (one of the very few of my fellow employees I trust) was the one who took me. I told him I had had a bad experience on a bike as a kid and wanted to get over my fear. He took it slow and kept asking if I was ok the whole way.

There was cake for some employee birthdays today...so I cut myself a piece and ate it in celebration to myself. :smile:

 

[batgirl]

Wow!!! That's so awesome, Marlene, CONGRATS!! :)

 

[lumberjack]

well thats great but im with your hubby he needs a harley...lol

 

[kimG]

Marlene...congrats!!:claps:

I'm very proud of you for facing this fear. I know it wasn't easy, but you did it!

Now...about that Harley....I'd have to say no too....but not because I don't want my husband to have one...PM if you want the reason...LOL.

Way to go!

 

[anthony]

Well done marlene, very well done and a big congratulations. Pushing yourself brings such great rewards....

 

[Marlene]

From reading other's posts about the aftermath of dealing with fears, I was pretty much expecting some symptoms to pop up. So glad I wasn't disappointed. *rolling eyes* Yesterday my anxiety level was pretty high, had the traveling pain (pain in one spot for an hour, five minutes in another, 15 in yet another) and my personal favorite - the throat feels like it's going to snap shut. I must have drank a gallon of water yesterday making sure that my throat was still open. May sound silly, but I have to psych myself out sometimes with the anxiety. Lots of deep breathing exercises all day at work. Then last night I had an anxiety attack hit so hard and fast it literally dropped me to my knees. I haven't had an anxiety attack since sometime in September. I really didn't see that one coming. Fortunately it was pretty short lived. By that time I was wiped out and headed for bed.

My hubby came in and gave me a back rub to help me relax a little before sleep and asked me if all of this was worth it. I told him 'You bet your sweet bippy it is!' I took a fear that had held onto me (or I had held onto it) for a good portion of my life, looked it in the eye, told it :finger: , climbed onto the back of that bike and made the fear into what it's supposed to be...just a bad memory.

Oh yes, it's worth a couple of rough days to get past that fear!!

 

[Marlene]

BTW-thanks for all the support guys.

And MJ, no motorcycles until we move out of the city. The drivers around here are whacked! In the next three or four years, we're moving to northern Florida to a more rural setting. We came to the compromise that once we get out of the city, he gets his bike.

 

[Terry]

Feels great don't it. Congrats Marlene

 

[Marlene]

Feels great don't it. Congrats Marlene

You bet ya!!! And thanks. :biggrin:

 

[piglet]

excellent stuff Marlene - bloody well done! you'll be getting the harley before your other half!!!!!:occasion:

 

[cookie]

Good work, marlene. i have a harley i'll sell cheap! not really my hubby would murder me. i won't ride with him anymore, but he is the one that scared me. i rode with him one time when we were first married. i don't like being eyeball to eyeball with the road in the middle of a curve! never again!

 

[Marlene]

Piglet, cookie-thanks. If and when my hubby gets a bike, I know that I can get onto the back now. As to me being the driver. Oh...I don't think so!!!! LOL AKA-no way in hell!!! :naughty: