Fairness

[Sethe]

My T told me something the other day that I found curious. I tend to have 'black and white' thinking when it comes to 'fairness.' In other words, I tend to get really upset (i.e. pissed off) when I find out that people have beaten the system, cheated or found ways to throw other people under the bus for their own profit and gain. I become especially incensed when I hear about children being abused or about people who have been abused. She said it tends to be common for people who experienced trauma to fall into that kind of black and white thinking.

She also said that I have a strong set of ethics (go figure) which may have something to do with it. Do you have an 'extreme' set of ethics? Do you take issue when you find people acting thoughtlessly and in an insensitive manner? Or is it just me?

If you did experience trauma and you agree with what I wrote, then do you think we're upset about the 'fairness' of it all due to our own experiences?

 

[intothelight]

Sethe,

I agree 100%. But if trauma creates a strong sense of ethics, then that is one really great thing about trauma. There isn't usually a lot of good associated with it, but if that is true then that is one part I never want to heal from.

I am not sure I agree 100% with the "black and white" thinking. I am aware of the grey areas, and extenuating circumstances that need consideration. But I won't compromise my ethics. A lot of times examining the "greys" helps one know what ethical principal to apply.

I don't know if trauma creates a feeling of being upset about things that are unfair. From the time we are very young we seem to have a sense of "fairness", and with or without trauma, most people know what is unfair. I think the trauma may make us more passionate about standing up when things are not "fair".

My .02
Deb

 

[missd84]

This is a great post that I think many people can relate to. I have always been a very opinionated person and unfortunately, have a short fuse to go along with it! This is just my personality-however-part of what leaves me angry with my trauma-is the lack of fairness. I feel very angry that what someone else did to me, which I had no choice in, negatively changed my life forever. So to answer your question, yes, I do think that we are upset about the fairness of our experiences.

 

[Sethe]

Sethe,

I am not sure I agree 100% with the "black and white" thinking. I am aware of the grey areas, and extenuating circumstances that need consideration. But I won't compromise my ethics. A lot of times examining the "greys" helps one know what ethical principal to apply.

My .02
Deb

Oh, I don't mean to imply that all people who experience trauma only have black and white thinking. I'm also aware of grey areas- much more aware of them now! But, when I'm in a 'rough' spot or remembering things that are painful, I tend to backtrack and just see the black and white.

 

[Gamereign555]

I wouldn't see these as bad things, these are traits that make you different.