Experiences With Sociopaths

[intothelight]

Sometimes situations are so bad that ......

Walk Away = You Live

 

[ms spock]

Ok maybe a stupid post, but just trying to work this out. Need answers.

Not at all. This is a most important question indeed!

 

[ms spock]

That can present similarly to narcissistic traits, but sociopathic traits are inherently more unstable, volatile, and harmful than narcissistic traits. They often present as self-destructive, addicted, psychotic, sadistic individuals (Though some garden-variety sociopaths can function reasonably well in society, it is hard for them to hide their true destructive, abusive, volatile and sadistic personalities in the home environment).

I would disagree with this and refer people to the literature of the sociopath in the workplace.

Research has shown that the characteristics of sociopathy are also the traits required for leadership.
The research is quite interesting reading.

They are not the quintenessential movie star characters.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

So I have complex trauma (complext PTSD) whatever you want to call it. It seems that because of my childhood I am far more likely to fall victim to sociopaths. Because I accept bad behaviour towards me as normal.

This is an excellent insight to have and it is important to work these things out.

I still struggle with it.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

In both cases, they presented very much as care-takers. Yes, who would want a care-taker, especially as I have always been very independent. A middle aged woman like me would, who was neglected as a child and never was really nurtured by anyone. They would know your favorite cookies, plan a romantic weekend, rub neck when it hurt, etc. The read people very well-know what you need before you do. Once you are hooked in is when it gets ugly. They can also fake empathetic emotions quite smoothly as they have been practicing a lifetime. They may seem to respond in all the right ways-then one day suddenly change, and could care less.

It is good to note this.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

Says things like he is bothered he has done something, like punch me in the mouth and choke me. Bothered, does not express guilt to me.

This is a violent man and you need to get to a police station or women's refuge.

Once they start hitting it can escalate so quickly.

I would suggest you need to leave or take out an AVO against him as well.

ms spock

 

[Jacquie]

PTSD Sufferer. Either you know one. Or you've worked with one. Your post sent shivers down my spine. You have described it so well. And yep. You lose or you lose. Its a game, and its years in the making.

One thing you didnt mention is the 'cleverness' aspect. They seem to feed on being so clever at the deception.

One I know very well, played with a psychiatrist like a cat plays with a ball of string. Enjoyed every minute of it. And only the victims knew what was going on. The psychiatrist told the victims they had to be more kind and tolerant.

The 'smirk' only showed in the eyes, and she was behind the psychiatrist when it showed.

Yep. Shivers.

 

[ms spock]

Are you thinking if you can figure out WHY then you can head it off at the pass? Its not your job to head it off at the pass. Its his job to keep his fists to himself.

Well said!

 

[ms spock]

I don't know how to write this properly, as this whole subject triggers the hell out me. I was married to a psychopath. Not my diagnosis, came from the court. Not insane, could stand trial. Important to know when you have children, just what you are dealing with.

Knowing what I know now, I would have disappeared with my children off the face of the earth. (different ID's, different country, different life). May sound extreme, but the price of not knowing what I was dealing with was way too high. Psychopath is the extreme end, but narcissist and sociopaths can damage beyond repair. Not always but the potential is there.

Know your enemy.

These people are at all levels and professions, corporations and companies and in a lot of work places. Bullying is widespread in Australia. There are lots of workshops run here for people to learn about sociopaths in the work place.

ms spock

 

[Jacquie]

Ms Spock. PSYCHOPATH not sociopath. Very very different species. One makes me angry. The other scares the living bloody bejeezuz out of me.

 

[ms spock]

I will still use the excuse that the violence did not happen that often, that is still in my head, but I know it was unacceptable

Such a good insight!

 

[BloomInWinter]

((((Lizio))))

Can't post on this....too triggered. But, yes...have had abusive relationships with several, all three types.

Ugh. Save yourself and your kids. Give yourself permission to refuse to waste one ounce of energy on him. Use it all for you and your kids.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I'm glad your denial is coming down so you can take action to be safe, where healing can begin.